Life behind the closed door
by gothina234
Summary: Reid has suffered at the hands of an abusive boyfriend for over a year, enduring the abuse after learning the consequences of leaving from his boyfriend, Martin. When Martin goes too far and leaves Reid for dead, the team find out the horrifying truth of what he's gone through. Can they protect him when Martin comes to silence him? Slash, warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone, here is the new story for you all. I've never done a fanfic with Reid being in an abusive relationship with a man. I like giving all types of writing a go, because you don't know if you're good at it till you give it a try. This is a slash because of the relationship Reid has with an original character but I am open to having him go into a relationship with a member of the team as some of my readers pointed out they'd read if it had Reid going with Morgan or Hotch. So let me know on that. While things may seem quick in the first chapter, more of the past relationship gets shown via flashbacks. It's my first go at this so be nice. Enjoy and I'd love to hear what you think. Also, obviously, Maeve never happened in this storyline.**

**Warnings - Slash, domestic violence, non con (nothing graphic though). Something you should know about me is that no matter what kind of relationship, I can't write sex for hell. One of my flaws when writing. Even in my personal writing.** **These warnings apply through the entire fanfic. Don't like, don't read.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid stood outside his apartment, he debated on going back in there. He did this every day. Wondering how he had screwed up his life so much. Taking a deep breath, he turned the key in the lock and walked in. He hung his coat and bag on the hook before walking in, he knew he wasn't alone, the television was on and there were two empty beer bottles on the table. He made his way into the kitchen to find Martin grabbing another beer. Martin came round and kissed him. "There you are. I though you'd be late again."

"No, I made sure I was home on time," Reid smiled stiffly before making his way to the coffee. He couldn't help the way his hand shook as he grabbed a cup. He made his way to the couch after pouring himself some coffee. Martin sat next to him and put an arm around him.

"I love sitting with you on the couch, Spencer. Don't you?" he asked.

"I love it too."

He finished his coffee and put it on the table. Martin put down his beer and began to kiss down his neck. Reid tried to move away but Martin's grip kept him close. "Martin, please not tonight. I've had a long day."

Martin pressed him down to the couch and climbed on top of him, pinning his wrists beside his head. "What have we discussed in the past?"

Reid bit his lip and nodded. "Don't make you angry. It's my fault you get angry."

"That's right. Now, saying no to me, makes me feel angry. I thought you learned from the last time you said no. I love you, Spencer. I hate it when I have to punish you. We're meant to live a wonderful life together. I remember when we first met, you looked amazing in those jeans and our first kiss, I've never felt more alive. Do you love me, Spencer?"

"I love you," Reid lied, staring into his partner's eyes. "Please, I didn't mean to make you angry."

"It's okay, I forgive you," Martin said, before pressing a kiss to Reid's lips. Reid laid still as one of Martin's hand travelled to his belt and unbuckled it. He knew that if he didn't fight and gave Martin what he wanted, it didn't hurt too much. He stared at the ceiling as Martin continued to pull down his trousers. He felt his eyes burn with tears as Martin pulled down his boxers. Sloppy kisses came down his chest. Martin put his hand over Reid's mouth. A muffled, long cry of pain filled the room as Martin began his assault. Reid cried out as it continued, he hated it. It was always rough. His mind took him back to the first time he had ever met Martin, a way of escaping being pinned to the couch and used.

* * *

_Standing in the bookstore, he already had an armful of new books. He looked up and spotted a book on the top shelf that he wanted. He reached up but couldn't reach. Another hand appeared and took it down for him. "Here you go."_

_He smiled at the man in front of him. "Thank you."_

_"I think it's some sort of marketing ploy. Putting all the good books at the top so you have to get someone to get them. That someone then recommends another book that you might buy. I'm Martin."_

_" I'm Spencer," he nodded. "I'd shake your hand but I got my hands full at the moment."_

_"Here, let me help," Martin smiled. He took some books and carried them to the till for Spencer. He picked up one book. "You have a wonderful tastes in books, Spencer. I'd love to talk to you about some of the books, over coffee."_

_Spencer thought for a moment. Martin was very nice, and he seemed trustworthy. It'd been a long time since he'd been with anyone. Not even the team knew that he liked men, a fact he kept hidden from them. "Sure, I'd love to."_

* * *

Martin finished, holding Reid roughly as he came down from his pleasure high. He kissed Spencer and grinned. "You're always so perfect for me. See, you did feel up to it."

* * *

Laying in bed, Reid tried hard to ignore the pain as he woke up. It wasn't as bad as the last time Martin had used him. He got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He took a shower and dressed for work. He brought out some cover up and rubbed it over the small bruises on his face. He did the same with his wrists. He jumped when the bathroom door opened. "You look so handsome," Martin sighed. "Remember, be home by six tonight."

"It's Henry's birthday though. The team is having a little party for him tonight. Please, I'll be home at seven-thirty and no later. Please, Martin."

"No," Martin said adamantly.

Reid bit his lip and walked over to Martin, who was putting face cream on his face. He put his arms around him. "Please, Martin. I'll make it up to you. Baby, please."

He felt revulsion as he kissed Martin's neck. Martin turned around quickly and stroked Reid's face. "Fine, but no later than seven-thirty. Even one minute later and we'll have a problem. I can't say no to you when you talk to me like that."

Reid winced when a hand grabbed his hair. "Ow, Martin, stop."

"I'm not going to wait till tonight for you to make it up to me."

* * *

Reid walked into work, feeling miserable. He was the first one into work, since Martin had moved in with him, he was always first into work. He put his bag down at his desk, happy that he'd been able to sneak Henry's gift out of the house. He went to the coffee and grabbed himself a cup of it. He drank a large gulp and felt calmed by it. He liked this time of the day. He didn't have to fake being happy for the team and he wasn't at home, pleasing Martin and in pain. Some days, he thought about leaving but he knew that wasn't an option. Martin had showed him the price of trying to leave.

Martin accepted him going away on cases but demanded a check in call, every three hours, even at night. He also wanted Spencer to speak to him on the phone when he wanted pleasure.

Spencer had fallen so far. He knew he had. He wasn't strong, like he was. His life was now ruled by a man who he despised and loathed.

* * *

"Hey, kid," Morgan said, slapping his hand on Reid's shoulder. Morgan worried when he felt him tense at his touch, something that happened more and more often. He took his hand away. "Are you okay, kid?"

"Don't call me a kid. I'm a grown man for god's sake."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. I've always called you that. What's wrong?"

Spencer turned around. "Sorry, Morgan. I just haven't been sleeping that well. I'm already on my third coffee."

Morgan didn't believe his friend but nodded. "Are you looking forward to Henry's party?"

"Yeah," Spencer nodded. "Got him his present. I can only stay for two hours though."

"Why?" Morgan questioned. "Henry is your godson and he loves having you around."

"I just have to get home for a phone call. Please, just leave it at that."

"What is wrong with you?" Morgan said, grabbing Reid's arm and bringing him into the empty kitchen area. "You look tired as hell, you're jumpy and the Reid that I know, would want to spend all the time he could with his godson on his birthday. Something is wrong. We've been friends a very long time, just tell me what's wrong."

"I'm fine. You may be my friend but you are digging into my life. I have other things to deal with outside of this place and outside of this team. Look, if something happens, I'll come to you. Just back off for now. Please," Spencer said.

"I'm always just a phone call away," Morgan smiled. "You know that."

"I do. I need to get back to work. So do you, if we have any chance of getting out of this place for Henry's birthday."

* * *

"Uncle Spencer!" Henry screamed as he ran up to Reid. Scooping him into his arms, Reid ignored the pain in his body. He hugged his godson close.

"Happy birthday, Henry. You're such a big boy now."

"Did you get me a present?" Henry asked as Reid put him down. Reid smiled and pulled out a medium size box from his bag. He gave the wrapped present to him.

"I hope you like it."

Henry unwrapped the present and gasped with joy. "You got me the toy I wanted!"

"You bet I did."

Henry hugged him and, for a moment, he could forget everything with Martin. "Thanks, Uncle Spence. Love you."

"I love you too, Henry."

* * *

Looking at his watch, he knew he had to make his way home. He had twenty-five minutes and knew he might hit some traffic. He put down his drink and went over to JJ.

"JJ, I need to leave. I have to get home for something."

"Oh, Henry loves having you here," she said. Henry came up behind her.

"Uncle Spence, please don't go. I need help beating Morgan at the game."

Reid looked into Henry's eyes. He knew that hell would be at home when he got there but he couldn't refuse his godson. "I guess I can sort it out tomorrow. Come on, let's go kick Morgan's butt."

* * *

Standing outside the door, he knew that pain and misery was waiting for him. It was nine at night. He walked in and found all the lights off, apart from the bedroom. He locked the door and made his way to the bedroom. He walked in and saw Martin on the bed, reading a book. He put down his bag. "Martin, I'm really sorry about being late. Henry didn't want me to leave and the others were getting suspicious. Staying took that suspicion away. Please, forgive me. I didn't plan on staying out this late."

Martin sighed and put down his book. "Come and sit next to me, Spencer."

Reid quickly went to the other side of the bed, he sat next to Martin. "Are you angry at me?"

"No, baby. I'm not angry," Martin sighed. "I guess I can understand you want to spend time with Henry."

He rolled over and made Reid lay underneath him. He rolled him on his stomach. Reid laid there as Martin pulled down his trousers and began using him again. He whimpered as Martin began. He knew that Martin did have some anger.

"It hurts," Reid moaned before grabbing the bed frame.

"Well, it doesn't hurt for me. Shut up and take it."

* * *

Reid sidestepped as he danced with Martin. He didn't like to dance but Martin did. He was in his pyjama bottoms and a baggy shirt. He was leaning on Martin's shoulder as they danced in the bedroom.

"Spencer, I love you," Martin said, his voice sounding strange.

"You like saying that," Reid said gently.

"I put rules in place for you to follow. You just keep breaking them and you let your friends corrupt you. I can't take it anymore. I know you don't love me, as much as I love. That hurts so much. I need someone who loves me. This isn't going to work."

"You want to break up?" Reid asked, keeping the joy out his voice. He knew Martin would notice if he was happy.

"I do. I need to find someone who will make me happy."

Reid smiled out of Martin's sight. His smile turned into a soundless scream as he felt pain ripped through his stomach. He cried out and tried to get away from Martin. The pain disappeared again, only to reappear again. He screamed this time but that scream was soon silenced as Martin pinned him against the wall and put a hand over his mouth. He screamed again as something got ripped out of him and plunged back in. Reid heard something metal hit the floor. Martin's other hand came up and touched his face, smearing blood over his cheek. He kissed him before coming away.

"I loved you," Martin cried before letting Reid fall to the floor.

Reid hit the floor, he pressed his hand to his stomach and tried to control the panic, fear and pain, all fighting to take over his body. Martin walked away from his body, leaving him to die. His vision blurred into darkness, he stayed awake long enough to see blood covering his stomach.

**Please review**

**I'll be updating this every two days for you all. Also the title is thanks to LaRieNGuBleR's suggestion. Thanks!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. You all don't make choosing which one I might put him with easy. I've got some for Hotch, some for Morgan and some don't mind. I'm going to put a poll on my profile page and by the next update, whoever has the highest number of votes, will go with Reid if I choose to go in that direction. I'm so happy about how well you've all received this, you're all just so great to support my writing. Yes, this is my first go into this kind of storyline, I promise that there is a great story ahead. Yes, Martin is a piece of work and he's far from finished with our genius. Enjoy and I'd love to hear from you.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're absolutely amazing and I love you all. You're awesome and I wish I could bake you all a cake. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan made his way up the stairs of Reid's apartment building, he wasn't in a good mood after almost being run over by some idiot pulling out the parking area, obviously in a hurry. Something was wrong. He had kept an eye on his best friend all evening at Henry's party, he had not missed the fearful looks Reid gave his watch or the way he tried to hide the winces when Henry jumped up and hugged him. He came to the door and knocked. "Reid, it's Morgan. Look, I know it's late but I need to talk to you. It's urgent."

He waited but didn't get an answer. He pulled out his phone and dialled Reid's cellphone. He frowned when he heard the sound of it inside. Hanging up the phone, a horrible feeling came through him. Reid wouldn't ignore calls or a friend at his door. He lifted his foot up and kicked down the door. Even if something wasn't wrong, he didn't want to take chances. It was pitch black, he fumbled over the wall but found the light switch. Morgan made his way to the bedroom, Reid was probably in bed. It was dark as he entered. "Reid?"

As he took a step forward, he slipped on something wet and fell to the floor. He had a rough idea of where the lamp was. As he switched on the lamp, he felt a sickening pain go through his heart. Laying on the floor, a puddle of blood beneath him, was Reid. Morgan looked over his own clothes and found that he had slipped in Reid's blood and now covered in it. Scrambling forward, he rolled Reid to his back and checked for a pulse. He felt joy as he found a pulse. It was weak but he knew his friend was holding on. He ripped open Reid's shirt and found three bloody stab wounds. Running to the bathroom, he grabbed some towels and pressed one of them to the stab wounds.

"Reid! Reid! Kid, wake up. Oh god, who did this to you?" he said in a rushed voice. Looking at all the blood, he didn't have time to wait for an ambulance. Grabbing the other towel, he tied it around Reid and made sure it covered the towel controlling the bleeding stab wounds. He tied it tightly. He brought Reid into his arms. "Kid, stay with me. I'm gonna get you to the hospital."

He rushed out of from the apartment, his best friend in his arms. Every part of him praying that he got him to the hospital in time.

* * *

He pulled up outside the emergency entrance.

"You can't park there!" a nurse shouted. Morgan jumped out of his car and rushed to the lowered passenger seat.

"I need help!" he yelled. He brought Reid into his arms. A gurney was already coming out as he reached the entrance. "His name is Spencer Reid, he's been stabbed."

Reid's pulse was weaker and his breathing had grown slower too. Morgan found a nurse stopping him from going any further.

"No, I need to go with him," he argued.

"Sir, you can't help him in there. You need to let the doctor work. Are you hurt? Is any of this blood yours?" she demanded gently.

"No," he shook his head in shock. "I w-walked in and he was just laying on the floor. All that blood and he wouldn't wake up."

He let the nurse guide him to some chairs. He faintly heard her toss his keys to a security guard so he could move the car. He'd seen people brutally tortured and killed during his career but that had not shocked him like this. He felt numb and could only focus on the blood over his clothes and arms. He came back to reality when the nurse tapped his cheek. "Sir, what's your name?"

"Derek Morgan," he mumbled before bringing himself out the shock slightly. "I need to call my boss."

"I'm sure your boss will understand if you can't get to work," she shook her head.

"No, you don't understand. I'm an FBI agent and so is Spencer. I have to get my boss to secure a crime scene and he needs to come done here. He's Spencer's medical contact."

"Okay, do that and then I want you to come back here. You're in shock."

* * *

Hotch rushed down the hospital corridor. Morgan had called him and told him about Reid's stabbing. Garcia and JJ were on their way to the hospital but he had sent Blake and Rossi to the apartment to secure the scene. He knew they could handle this better than JJ and Garcia. A nurse directed him to the waiting room. He found Morgan in the corner with a vacant look in his eyes. "Morgan, have they told you anything?"

Morgan looked up and shook his head. Hotch found it hard to ignore the blood on his grey shirt and jeans. "Is that his blood?"

"I kicked down the door because when I called his phone, it was ringing inside. It was dark when I got into the bedroom. I slipped in the blood. There was just so much of it. Three stab wounds. I can't imagine how he felt when it happened. They look like they got done with a butcher knife. Someone shoved a knife into him over and over."

"Was he alive when you brought him in?"

"Barely," Morgan nodded. He straightened himself and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to process everything."

"That's okay," Hotch said gently. "Garcia and JJ are coming down now. Rossi and Blake are at Reid's apartment. We'll find who did this, I promise."

"I knew something was wrong," Morgan said in frustration. "Something is scaring him but he wouldn't tell me."

"You can ask him when he wakes up," Hotch assured Morgan.

* * *

**Six hours later**

"Family of Spencer Reid?" a doctor asked as he walked over.

"That's us," Hotch said. The doctor walked over. JJ, Morgan and Garcia stood behind him. "How is he? Is he alive? I'm his medical contact, Aaron Hotchner, and you can talk freely with us."

"He's alive and he's one hell of a fighter. We lost him once on the table but brought him back. We've repaired the damage from the stab wounds but one managed to nick his lung. We put him on a ventilator till he's able to breathe easier on his own. He lost a lot of blood but we're giving him transfusions to bring his levels back up. He won't wake up for a while. I don't think it'll be too long though. He's very strong. I have to ask you about a sensitive issue."

"What issue?" Hotch questioned.

"Spencer got raped. When he came in, we found bruises around his thighs and legs and we performed a rape exam."

"Oh god," Garcia gasped, holding JJ for support. Hotch could almost feel the rage coming off Morgan.

"So his attacker didn't only stab him but raped him too. Um, did you get any samples?"

"Mr Hotchner, I'll be honest with you. We did get a semen sample which I sent to the lab. When we cleaned him up, we found that he had cover up on, that was hiding a black eye and bruised jaw on his face. We found more of it on his wrists, where we found dark and painful bruises. Almost as if someone had held him down. He has scar tissue over his back, stomach, legs and arms, where cuts and welts have healed. The rape exam shows both old and new damage. Is Spencer gay?"

"No," Morgan said. "He's had interest in women in the past."

"The last girl he showed in interest was that Austin girl," JJ shrugged. "I mean, he isn't comfortable around women. Could he be gay? I don't know. If he is, why wouldn't he tell us?"

"Wait," Garcia said. "Are you telling us that Spencer, our Spencer, has been in an abusive relationship? Whoever he was with, has been raping him."

"Everything points to that," the doctor nodded. "I'm very sorry."

"I need some air," Garcia shook her head quickly before rushing out of the room. Hotch didn't even need to tell JJ to go after her, she was already gone.

"It was probably his boyfriend who stabbed him. We all know the profile of an abuser. Something must have happened. Something must have snapped inside and he wanted to finally silence his victim."

"He's in room eight," the doctor said. "I'll leave you now. You're welcome to have someone with him."

"Thank you, doctor, for saving him."

The doctor left the room, leaving the two men alone.

"Reid's not dumb," Hotch thought aloud. "He wouldn't stay with someone who was hurting him like this. Whoever was abusing him, did something to keep Spencer with him."

"When we find this son of a bitch, I'll kill him. I'll make him wish he'd never been born."

* * *

Reid felt as if he was floating. His mind brought forth memories, ones that he didn't want to see. He registered a loud beeping noise but was too lost in the memories.

* * *

_"M-Martin," he cried as huddled himself in the corner, his lip bleeding and his cheek aching from being punched in the jaw. "Martin, p-please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to forget the beer. Baby, I'm so sorry."_

_"You're pathetic," Martin screamed at him, aiming a kick into his stomach._

* * *

_"No, no, no," he pleaded as Martin pushed him on the bed and tried to unbuckle his belt. "Martin, I don't want to."_

_He winced as a slap came across his face, becoming dazed for a moment, long enough for Martin to rip away his belt and strip his jeans away. Martin straddled him and wrapped a hand around his throat. "I don't care if you fight me again. This is happening."_

The beeping noise faded away as the darkness overcame him again.

* * *

Garcia came into the hospital room. Hotch and Morgan had already taken their places by Reid's bedside. Her heart ached as she walked over to him. Standing by his bed, she came down and kissed his forehead. "You're safe now, baby boy."

She stroked her hand through his hair. "Who would hurt you like this?"

"Someone who is still out there," Hotch sighed. "He may come for Reid if he finds out that he is alive."

"I'll stay," Morgan insisted. "We've got no idea of the lengths his attacker may go to. If he comes here, I can protect Reid."

"I want to stay," Garcia said firmly. "He's going to need someone here who can talk to him. Morgan, you can protect him but it won't be easy for him having another man around. Not after everything he's endured."

"She's right," JJ confirmed. "She needs to stay here so he won't feel threatened when he wakes up."

"Kevin can take care of all your tech needs," she said. "I can't work properly and I'm not ashamed to admit that. My place is here, looking after him. You don't need me. I trust Kevin to give you everything."

"Garcia, take care of him," Hotch smiled sadly.

"I always do."

"We'll be back soon. Call if anything happens or if you need anything," JJ offered before going to Reid and kissing his forehead. "It'll be okay, Spence."

Garcia watched as they left the room. Her eyes stayed on Morgan for a moment, he seemed distant and lost. Turning her attention back to Reid, she reached out and took his hand. She turned it over and stroked her fingers over the large bruise. She kissed the bruise and then looked to his face. "Why did you stay?"

**Please review**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. To clarify, Reid is not in love with his abuser, you'll find out why he stayed in this chapter. Yes, Martin is an asshole and you'll want to call him worse than that in the next few chapters. I'm sorry if it came out a bit weird in the last chapter but Morgan stayed in the room. He didn't leave Garcia alone. That's my bad. Okay, if I choose to go the route of having Reid go with either Hotch or Morgan, I have the result of the poll. Morgan won the poll. A whooping 86% of you voted for Morgan while Hotch only got 14% of the vote. Trust me, when Morgan gets hold of Martin, which won't be for a few chapters. All hell will break loose. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews and feedback, you're wonderful to me and I wish I could hug you all. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Four hours later**

Reid moaned gently as he came out of the haze around his body, he tried to breathe but found something blocking him. He opened his eyes and began to struggle. He saw Garcia and Morgan come above him.

"Reid, let the tube control your breathing. Don't struggle against the tube," Morgan advised.

"Morgan, go and get some help," Garcia ordered. Morgan disappeared from his view, it was hard but he let the tube control his breathing. Garcia placed a hand on his shoulder and made him lay back down on the bed. "There you go, baby boy. Just relax."

He felt her hand come into his own, he held it tightly. He didn't understand. How was he in the hospital? Shouldn't he be dead?

A doctor came above him. "Hello, Spencer. I'm Doctor Quinn. Do you know where you are?"

Reid put his thumb up to signal that he knew he was in the hospital.

"That's good," he smiled. "I'm going to take the tube out. When I do, I need you take slow and gentle breaths and speak gently. You're doing very well though, it's nice to see you awake."

Doctor Quinn began the process of removing the tube. Garcia and Morgan stood back, waiting for the tube to come out.

"Cough," Dr Quinn ordered. Reid let out a cough and the tube came out from his throat. He continued coughing till his chest settled. Garcia was already next to him with a cup of water.

"Small sips," Dr Quinn advised. Reid put his lips around the straw and took small sips of cold water, it soothed the burning sensation in his throat. He laid back in the bed, his entire body feeling heavy and sore. His stomach bearing most of the pain.

"What happened?" he said quietly.

"What do you remember?" Dr Quinn asked.

He looked over to the Morgan and Garcia. "I remember being stabbed."

"By your boyfriend?"

Looking at the doctor, he knew that the others knew the truth. Hotch was his medical contact and the only people who cared about him were the team, one of them must have found him. "Who found me?"

"I did," Morgan shakily began. "I slipped over your blood when I found you. I rushed you to the hospital in the SUV. Kid, we know what's been going on."

Reid looked down and closed his eyes to try to keep himself calm. He felt tired and his stomach hurt but he knew that if was still alive, Martin would find out and hurt him again. He'd come to finish what he started. Tears fell down his cheeks but he barely felt them.

"Dr Quinn, can we have some time alone?" Morgan said.

"Of course, call the nurses if you need anything."

Dr Quinn left the room, leaving the three of them alone. Garcia sat on the edge of the bed, she brought out a tissue and wiped away the tears. "We're here, Reid. Talk to us."

"You must hate me," he cried gently. Garcia leaned down and wrapped her arms around him.

"No, we don't hate you. Why would you ever think that?"

"How much do you know?" he asked.

Morgan kept his distance and took a seat near the wall. "We know that all the signs point to you being in an abusive relationship with another man. Why didn't you tell us about your sexuality?"

"I got scared," Reid admitted. "I was going to tell you but things went wrong."

"Who is he?"

"Martin, his name is Martin North. He's the one who did this to me."

"For how long?" Garcia questioned. She moved her hand down and held his softly again.

"Over a year," he explained. "It didn't start as an abusive relationship. He seemed so normal and perfect. We had a good relationship but then things changed, then he made sure I knew he was in charge. He made sure that I would never tell any of you about him. I know I was never this weak before but he made me like this."

He winced in pain as he brought his hand to his stomach. He took gentle, small breaths to calm himself down.

"Take it slow," Garcia said sadly. "Reid, what did he do?"

Reid closed his eyes, the memory of that horrible night came forward. The words spilled from his mouth as he relieved that night.

* * *

_Reid sat in the backseat of Martin's car, the roof was down and they had parked on a wonderful side road that overlooked the city. The sun began to set and he smiled at how beautiful the city looked. Martin leaned over and kissed him passionately. "I love when we come here."_

_"It's beautiful," Reid grinned before kissing Martin back. He went to come away but Martin pulled him closer and began kissing him roughly. He put his hands between them and pushed him back when he felt a hand on his belt. "What are you doing?"_

_"We both want this," Martin shrugged before trying to kiss him again._

_"Martin, I'll kiss you out here but I'm not going to have sex with you out here. Why are you so eager?"_

_"Why aren't you eager for it?" Martin snapped. "I'm sick of the same old boring routine in bed. We've been together for six months but you still act like you don't accept what you are. Stop being so selfish, Spencer."_

_"I'm not being selfish," he argued back. "I just don't want to do it here. I'm not the selfish one in this relationship, you are. You move in with me and then you get fired from your job. I'm sick of supporting you. I have my mother's costs to worry about."_

_"Screw your mother, you shouldn't pay for her anyway."_

_"Go to hell, Martin. I'll walk home," Spencer said angrily as he opened the car door and slammed it as he left. He walked away from the car and made his way through the small forest area. A few minutes later, strong arms wrapped around him and tackled him to the floor. He moaned as pain came through his body. Quickly rolled to his back by the hands, he looked into Martin's eyes._

_"Martin, get off me!" he yelled. He cried out as a strong punch came across his face and closed his eyes as pain ripped through his head._

_As his senses returned, he woke up, quickly realising he was back in the car on his stomach. He felt a heavy weight on top of him and felt his boxers being pulled down. He turned his head and glimpsed Martin as the one stripping him. "No," he moaned as he tried to get up. A hand came to his neck and pinned him down. He struggled more. "MARTIN! No, please! I don't want this! Stop it!"_

_"No!" Martin screamed at him. "I want this and I'm going to make you pay."_

_He began to cry and struggled frantically. "Stop it! Martin, please, you don't want to do this. You love me, I know you do. This isn't you."_

_"I love you and now, I'm going to fuck you."_

_A scream tore out from his lips as Martin began the assault. A hand came over his mouth, muffling his scream. His body jolted up and down, his screams and tears never stopping as it continued._

* * *

As he finished, he was already in Garcia's arms, her wonderful warmth making him feel safe. He cried into her shoulder. They stayed like that for a few minutes before he laid back into his pillows. Exhaustion and sleep tried to pull him in. He shook away the feeling. He needed this. Martin had been abusive to him and had tried to murder him. He wasn't safe and he knew that. He looked over to Morgan and found his friend clenching his fists.

"If he raped you, why didn't you just come to us? We would have arrested him," Garcia sighed.

"After he raped me, he tied my hands together with my belt and dragged me to the trunk of the car. He shoved me inside and used his own belt to gag me. I was so scared and I didn't understand what was happening. In one night, he had turned from a loving boyfriend into a complete psycho. We'd had arguments before and he held me rough a few times but that was it. He parked in the corner of the park near JJ's house. You can see her house from there. It was dark by then and no-one would have been able to see us from their houses. He dragged me out of the car and made me look at the house. I could see through the window. JJ, Henry and Will were all sat down together, eating dinner. He said if I ever told anyone about us and what he was doing and had done, he'd make sure they went to sleep and would never wake up. I've accepted the abuse because I couldn't let him hurt them."

Garcia looked horrified as she listened. "He used Henry, JJ and Will against you. Oh, god."

Reid began to worry about how silent Morgan was. "Morgan, please don't be angry with me."

Morgan's head snapped up, he rose up and walked to the bed. He watched as Reid's eyes drooped now and then. His friend needed rest but he needed answers. "I'm not angry with you. I'm angry at Martin and trust me, I'm going to make him pay for hurting you. What did he do to you after that night? It's good that you're being honest."

"I can't hold on to the secrets anymore," Reid sniffed before Garcia wiped away more tears. "I had to pretend we were a happy couple and that the other night had never happened. He beat me when I forgot to get things or made him angry. When he wanted sex, sometimes I just let him do it. It hurt but he didn't beat during those times. He did it and then left. He made me do other things. When I did fight and refused to have sex, he hit me with his belt or cut me. Then, he just took what he wanted."

Reid's eyes lowered and drooped, his breathing began to get slower and he finally laid against the pillows, his eyes closing as exhaustion finally won.

"How did we not see he was going through this?" Morgan remarked.

* * *

Hotch came back to the apartment, he had come in with the others but wanted to look around on his own. Forensics had finished. They had a name and they would find this bastard. As he walked around, he noticed how bare the apartment was. Clothes were missing from draws and pictures removed from frames. Martin had planned this and had cleared out all his belongings before stabbing Reid. He also noticed the lack of personality in all the rooms. He remembered visiting the apartment over a year ago, he assumed before the relationship had started. Books had been out everywhere, there was jars in the window which Reid had explained as experiments. There had been pictures of Henry and JJ on shelves along with ones of his mother and him as a child. Now, the pictures were gone, only a small bookshelf of books remained and there were no more jars.

He walked over to the fridge and found a few cases of beer. Everything about this place screamed that Reid got forced into a submissive role. He made his way to the bedroom, walking around the dry blood. He entered the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. Tubes of cover up were in there along with bandages and pain medication, he frowned at the pain medication. He wondered how often Reid had taken it. He checked around and put down the medication when he opened the laundry basket. Happy that he had gloves on, he reached in and pulled out a bed sheet with blood smeared across it.

"Reid, we could have protected you."

**Please review**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I just need to say something. This is my first time portraying an abusive relationship, I'm trying my best and I don't claim to be an expert. To my guest reviewer, I know strong and smart people can end up in abusive relationships but I chose to portray it this way. I appreciate your opinion but if you're disappointed with how I'm portraying abusive relationships, I understand and accept your view. I would just ask that you not compare with me with another author. I have read the author, Just Jasper's works. She is a great writer and has her own style of writing. This is my style of writing and I'm just uncomfortable with being compared with another author. I think that any author who puts their time and effort into a piece has their own unique way of doing it. Sorry just had to get that out.  
**

**Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.**

**Jenny Crum - Trust me, he's going to pay for what he has done and I'm going to tease that Morgan will have a big part in that payback.**

**Thank you for all the reviews and feedback, you're brilliant and awesome. I don't know what I did to deserve you all. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Hotch walked through the hospital corridor, heavy thoughts weighing on his mind. As he came to Reid's room, the bottle of painkillers in his pocket seemed heavier than before. Pushing the door open, he made his way in and over to the side of the bed. To him, the young genius of his team wasn't laying in this bed, a broken man was laying in the bed, a year of pain showing through the bruises that marked his pale skin.

"Don't wake him," Garcia whispered as she opened her eyes and straightened in her chair.

"How is he?" Hotch whispered back.

"Scared, broken and afraid, it's horrible what he has gone through."

Walking over to her, he gave her hand a small comforting squeeze. "He'll be fine as long as we help him through this."

"This isn't the same as Hankel, Hotch," she shook her head. "What's happened to him will take so much longer for him to come to terms with."

"Morgan called and told me what happened."

"He must have been so scared when Martin did that to him," Garcia vented angrily. "For six months, he thought he had found someone to love him and within hours, that same person raped him and threatened to kill those he loved. I want this man to pay for what he's done to my baby boy."

"We'll catch him and when we do, I'm going to interrogate him myself. It won't be pleasant for him. We haven't managed to track him down yet. Kevin checked his accounts and found them empty. He's running and I don't think he knows Reid survived the attack, which works in our favour."

Hotch looked over to Morgan, his eyes closed and in a light sleep. Pulling a seat over and next to Garcia, he sat down and began to watch over Reid.

* * *

_Martin kissed him and brushed a hand through his brown locks. "How was it?"_

_"Good," Spencer grinned before bringing the blanket further over his body. "How was it for you?"_

_"It was great," Martin assured him. "I just wanted our first time together to go well. You seemed a little nervous at the beginning."_

_"It's just been a while since I've been with someone. I know I made you wait for tonight, I hope that was okay."_

_"Waiting wasn't a problem for me," Martin smiled. "You're worth waiting for. From experience, I know that jumping into bed so soon in a relationship can cause problems. It's good that we waited."_

_Reid smiled as he listened to his boyfriend's words. He had made Martin wait for two months, he didn't want to rush this relationship like he had rushed his last one._

* * *

_Sitting at the table, he brought a small amount of food to his fork and ate it. Martin had started his second beer and already had a third waiting for consumption. They had dinner in silence. Reid was too afraid to say the wrong thing. Saying even one word that Martin didn't like could land him in agony. He kept still as Martin left his seat and walked over to him. "What's wrong with you?"_

_"Nothing is wrong, Martin."_

_"Then why aren't you eating properly? I cooked this meal and I expect you to eat it."_

_Reid stared at his plate. He wasn't hungry and it hurt to swallow food after Martin had pinned him against the wall by his throat. He knew that if he didn't finish the food, Martin would get angry. "I'm going to eat it, I promise. Just give me some time."_

_The fork was forcefully ripped from his grasp. Martin brought a large amount of food on the fork and held it in front of his mouth. "Open your mouth, Spencer."_

_He opened his mouth as Martin shoved the food in. He chewed as fast as he could but barely managed to swallow the food when Martin gripped his jaw and shoved more food into his mouth. He chewed but began to choke as Martin shoved more food into his mouth. He cough and spat out the food, gasping as he tried clear his throat. A hand gripped his hair and threw him to the floor._

_"My food isn't good enough for you, huh!" he yelled before kicking Reid in the ribs. Reid stayed silent as tears began to fall. He cried out as a foot smashed into the bottom of his back. "You're pathetic!"_

* * *

Opening his eyes, he felt relief, he felt safe knowing that he was still in hospital. His nightmares of the past couldn't touch him when he was awake. He looked to his side, Hotch's eyes meeting his own as he turned his head.

"Hello, Reid. Garcia and Morgan are just getting some food, they'll be back soon."

"Hello," Reid greeted, his voice meek and small.

Hotch came and took a place on the edge of the hospital bed. "I checked over your apartment."

"Why?"

"I checked it because I needed to know the true extent of how much Martin has changed your life. I walked into that place and barely found anything to tell me that you lived there. I found the bloody sheets in the laundry basket too."

Reid looked down at his hands, shame coming through him. Hotch brought out the painkillers. "These caught my eye too."

"It's not what you think," Reid whispered.

"You would never take these without a good reason, I know that. I want to hear your reasons. I've seen you suffer through anthrax without pain medication."

"Do you already know what he did?"

"Morgan called me, I needed to know."

"A-After that night, I struggled with what he did to me. Do you remember when I called in sick for a few days?"

"He hurt you the night before you called in sick, didn't he?"

"The bleeding stopped after a while, but the pain took longer to stop. He brought me back to the apartment but locked me in the bedroom. He left and went to a bar, I think he did anyway, he came back drunk later that night. While he was gone, I cried and cleaned myself up. He took my phone and laptop so I couldn't call anyone for help. I wouldn't have called after his threat. I would never forgive myself if Henry, JJ and Will got hurt because of me. The pain became too much and I found his painkillers. I took some and it helped. When he came home, smelling of alcohol, he made me do things to him. I only ever took painkillers when he would get rough and cause me a lot of pain."

"You know that I won't let you take these recklessly. You can take them, but I'll help you stay sober."

"Thank you."

"Reid, we could have protected you. One word at work and we would have arrested Martin."

"You don't know what it's like," Reid cried, his lip quivering and his hand shaking. Hotch took his hand and kept it still. "Hotch, you don't know what it's like to live in fear of someone you thought loved you. He made me so happy in the first six months of the relationship. After that night, he broke my heart and he broke something else inside of me. I can't describe it. I lived in fear of him and tried so hard not to make him angry. He would beat and rape me but I stayed because I would never forgive myself if JJ lost Henry and Will because of me. I loved Martin once but that love turned to nothing but dust when he began the abuse. I never thought he'd try to kill me."

"You know the profile of an abuser," Hotch began. "You know that continued abuse can lead to the victim being killed."

"He said he knew I didn't love him anymore and that he needed someone who would love him. He said he wanted to break up, then all I felt was pain. I was in too much pain to scream when he stabbed me the first time. I screamed the second time he stabbed me but he put his hand over my mouth to muffle it. I screamed into his hand again when he stabbed me the last time. He stroked my cheek and said that he loved me. After that, things get hazy. Hotch, he's going to finish what he started. He's going to kill me."

"Calm down," Hotch tried to soothe. "He's not going to hurt you again. I promise you that we'll keep you safe."

Reid shook his head and continued to cry. "He always gets his way."

"Not this time."

* * *

_Opening his eyes, he frowned when he found blood over his hand, dripping through his fingers. He looked to the floor and gasped in horror. Henry was now covered in blood, his chest still and his eyes cold and dead. JJ and Will laid next to him, blood all over their bodies, JJ's hair no longer blond but streaked with crimson._

_"They died because of you," Martin said next to him. He screamed as Martin climbed on top of him with a bloody knife in his hand. Martin raised the knife and brought it into his stomach over and over. Reid screeched as the knife ripped through him._

* * *

Morgan rushed to the bed as he watched Reid thrash around violently, the heart monitor beeping frantically. Garcia had rushed out of the room to get help.

"Kid, wake up! Reid, wake up!"

Reid's eyes whipped open, they searched the room and looked at Morgan. His eyes were wide and frightened. "Martin, I'm sorry. Please, don't hurt me."

"It's Morgan. Martin isn't here, you're safe."

Morgan watched as Reid eyes fluttered shut and as his body stopped thrashing. Dr Quinn rushed in and began to check Reid's stitches. Stumbling back, Morgan clenched his fist. Garcia came over and put her hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"He thought I was Martin. I'm scaring him. Martin is going to pay!"

**Please review**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. To guest, I will completely understand if your choose to stop reading this and if you don't like this, I recommend my other new fanfic. I understand your view completely and understand your reaction. I'm not a stranger to this subject, while I've never experienced it, I watched it happened when I was younger. I've just chosen this route because as everyone will see in this chapter, Reid wasn't the first. Again, I'll completely understand. To everyone, after this chapter, things are going to get really kick ass because as you'll see at the end of this chapter, Morgan is on the hunt! Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're awesome and I love all of you for reading and reviewing this. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

_A week had passed since the night Martin had forced himself on him in the back of the car. Everything had changed, all the things that Martin didn't like of his got placed into storage and Martin had taken control of all the money. Only after begging and doings things that disgusted him, had Martin agreed to let him keep paying for his mother's care. Standing at the kitchen sink, washing the dishes, gave him time to think. He almost dropped a plate when Martin's arm wrapped around him. He stiffened, still afraid of Martin's touch, and knew that his actions would be noticed._

_"Oh, it's okay baby. I'm in a good mood today."_

_That didn't make any difference to him, in the past week he'd been subjected to horrible things regardless of Martin's mood. He turned around and gave a stiff smile, he didn't have energy to give him a proper smile. "Why are you in a good mood?"_

_"Things are so much better between us and I love being with you," Martin grinned. "You're beautiful and I don't know what I did to deserve you."_

_"Guess you must have done something good in life. I need to finish the dishes."_

_A large hand came around his wrist before he could grab the dishcloth again. Martin turned him around. "The dishes can wait, Spencer. Seeing you bent over the sink, I just can't help myself anymore."_

_He closed his eyes as he led over to the couch and pushed down on his stomach. Tears leaked without permission as Martin straddled his hips. A hand gripped his hair and he opened his eyes again. "Why are you crying, Spencer?"_

_"Martin, please don't do this. I want to make you happy but I don't want to do this."_

_He cried out as his head got pulled up by his hair. "This is the only way to make me happy so you will do this. You don't want to make me angry, Spencer. Do you want to make me angry?"_

_"No," Spencer cried, fighting to keep the memories of the night in the car at bay. He laid against the couch and sobbed as Martin continued to touch him._

* * *

As he woke up, he felt soft hands wiping his wet cheeks. He opened his eyes to see JJ above him, her eyes red and puffy. No words got shared as JJ brought her arms around him, he cried into her shoulder as she hugged him tighter. After a few minutes, he came away and looked into her eyes. "Have you been crying?"

"You should have told us," she said, her eyes beginning to tear up again.

"I didn't want him to hurt you. Henry deserves a happy life, all of you do. I just wanted to protect you, I promised you the day that Henry was born that I would protect him and help him get into college. I don't break promises to my family."

"He was hurting you though," she shook her head. "For so long, he's been hurting you and we never did anything to stop it."

"You couldn't stop what you didn't know about," he said. "I never let you see the bruises or the pain."

"It's my fault," JJ cried as she rose up from her seat and began to pace. "He used us against you."

"No, please don't do this," he panicked as he tried to sit up. He cried out and put his hand to his stomach. JJ rushed over and pushed him back down. He grabbed her arm. "This isn't your fault, don't think that. Please don't ever think that. Martin did this to me, no-one else."

She lowered herself to the edge of the hospital bed. "I need to ask you something. You told us that you needed to get home on the night of Henry's birthday, the night that he almost killed you. Did you have to leave because he told you to?"

"I was supposed to get home by seven-thirty, I wasn't even supposed to come but I managed to convince him to let me come to the party. In the morning, I said I'd make it up to him in the evening but he didn't want to wait that long. He-He made me pleasure him."

JJ held his hand and stroked her thumb over it gently. "What did he do when you came home late?"

"I apologised so much and at first, I thought he was okay with me staying out late. I got on the bed and he made me lay on my stomach, t-then he raped me. Is it rape if I let him do it? I just didn't want it to hurt."

JJ hugged him again as he broke down. "We're going to get this bastard."

"Where is Henry?" he asked.

"He's safe, don't worry. Hotch put Will and Henry into protective custody, I refused to go because I wanted to help catch Martin and to look after you."

"Where is Garcia?"

"Morgan took her to get something to eat when I arrived."

"JJ, I was so scared when he stabbed me. We were dancing because he likes to dance, he made me dance after he hurt me in bed. I didn't even see the knife, I just felt it rip through me. I did everything he wanted, I didn't mean to break his rules. I did everything he asked, why did he do this to me?" he said in a pained voice, emotions that had been pent-up for months flooding his voice. "What did I do wrong?"

"Shhh, you didn't do anything wrong. Calm down, none of this is your fault."

* * *

"Where are we on finding this son of a bitch?" Hotch demanded as he walked into the BAU room. Kevin was at his laptop, typing away while Blake had a few files in front of her. Rossi had an open file in front of him too.

"We think that Martin had another victim," Rossi explained.

"What do you mean?"

"There was a case in Kansas about two years ago. A man called Jeremy Max was found dead in his apartment with three stab wounds to his stomach and chest, he bled out in his apartment. Autopsy revealed that he had suffered physical and sexual abuse over a long period. They interviewed his friends but most had not heard from him in over two years. The report says that most said he had a boyfriend but they had never met him. Items were missing from the apartment. Unlike Reid, they didn't find any evidence inside of him. There was no evidence or fingerprints. It has to have been Martin using another name. Kevin can't find a trace of Martin ever being in Kansas."

"It isn't hard for someone to live under a new identity, especially if they know the ways of disappearing. Have you found any other cases like that?"

"No," Blake answered. "We think that Jeremy was his first victim and Reid almost became his second."

"He is Martin's victim," Hotch shook his head. "Reid spent six months with this man, thinking he had found love and then Martin turned on him within one night. He spent the rest of their relationship afraid and suffered abuse beyond imagining. I want Martin caught now so he can pay."

"We'll find him. I think we all want a piece of him."

"Sir," Kevin called. "I think I have something."

* * *

Reid sat in his bed, Morgan had raised it up for him. He touched his stomach, trying to forget the feeling of blade slicing through him. He briefly glanced over to Garcia sleeping in the chair, JJ had left to make a call.

"During the first six months," Morgan began, "Why didn't you introduce us to him?"

"I wanted to five months into the relationship, at the beginning I found myself scared but one night I decided to tell you. Martin didn't like it and he managed to talk me out of it. He said it would be better if we waited longer. It was too late after that. When we all went to that italian place, the one Rossi is so fond of, he followed me there. This was two months after he raped me in the car. Do you remember when I went to the men's room?"

"You came back and looked pale as hell. Kid, did he hurt you that night?"

"I need to tell you something."

* * *

_Making his way to the men's room, he gave a small smile at how nice it was to spend an evening with his family. Martin had told him that he'd be out with a friend till past midnight so he wasn't worried about getting back. As long as he got home before ten, he would have plenty of time alone. He wanted so much to them all what Martin was doing but something kept hold of his heart, an icy hand gripping it that made him fear for their safety. He walked in and made his way into a cubicle. He didn't need to do anything, he just need a minute to collect himself. No-one else was in the restroom. He stayed there for minute before going to leave.  
_

_As he opened the cubicle door, a hand grabbed his shirt and threw him back into the cubicle wall. A gloved hand came over his mouth and pinned him against the wall, his eyes went wide as he took in Martin's face._

_"Shut up and stop struggling," Martin growled in a low voice as he took his hand away.  
_

_Reid immediately obeyed him. He stayed still and the only sound that he could hear was his own fast breathing. "What are you doing here?"_

_"You think I don't know what you're doing. Which one of those three men are you letting fuck you?"_

_"What?!" he gasped. "None of them, they're my friends. Martin, I'm just having dinner, I'm not doing anything."_

_Martin spun him around and put his hands against the door, a hand to his neck forced him to bend over. "Martin, no, please don't this, not here," he pleaded as a hand dragged down his trousers and boxers. He heard Martin spit._

_The door to the men's room opened. "Hey, kid. You okay?" he heard Morgan call._

_He bit his lip as Martin began using him. He took a deep breath. "I'm fine, I'll be out soon. Just an upset stomach."_

_"Told you not to try the curry sauce. Okay, see you in a minute. Dessert will arrive soon."_

_He cried as he heard the door close. Martin pinned him up against the door and continued to use him. He whimpered as Martin's lips came to his ear. "You're such a lying whore."_

* * *

Reid was shaking by the end, no more words passing through his lips. Morgan looked at him with horror. "Kid, are you telling me that he was raping you when I walked in?"

Nodding his head, Reid wiped a tear from his cheek. "I wasn't ill when I came back. He raped me in the men's room and then left. When I got home, he beat the crap out of me."

He stiffened and froze as Morgan's arms suddenly wrapped around him, his breathing picked up but he began to relax when he remembered that it was friend hugging him. He kept his hands by his side, unsure of what to do. Morgan came away and looked at him. "I'm so sorry, I should have known something was wrong. I was there and I didn't stop it."

"You didn't know," Reid whispered.

Reid jumped as the door suddenly slammed open, the heart monitor echoing his fear that Martin had finally come for him. He relaxed when he saw that it was only JJ.

"JJ, you scared him," Morgan snapped.

"I'm sorry but Hotch is tracking Martin, they think they have his location."

Morgan rose up quickly. "Do you have your gun?" he asked her.

"I do," she nodded.

"Good, give me the keys to the car and stay here. Protect Reid if anything happens."

"Where are you going?" Reid panicked.

Morgan stopped outside the door, he turned and face his friend. "I was there and didn't stop it once, I'm not letting this son of a bitch get away now."

"Morgan, come back," he shouted as he watched his friend run out of the room. Garcia had woken up and came to his side as she watched him shiver and shake his head.

"Sweetie, calm down. You need to stay calm."

"Martin is going to hurt him. It'll be all my fault."

**Please review**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Sorry for the delay in updating this, I meant to put out this chapter yesterday but I was ill. Really sorry! I really think you're going to all love this chapter because we see what happens when you get on Morgan's bad side and hurt his best friend. Martin, you're in trouble. I'd love to know what you all think of this chapter as I'm a bit nervous about it. Enjoy and I'd love to hear from you all.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, they mean a lot to me and I just want to say how grateful I am for your continuing support. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan pulled up to the pavement and got out of the car, the others were a minute or two behind him. He looked around, looking for the man who had abused and almost murdered his best friend. He walked across the street and felt anger course through his heart when he saw Martin crossing the street. He raced forward and cursed when Martin spotted him coming after him. "Martin, freeze, you son of a bitch!"

Racing after him, he turned the corner and chased Martin through an empty park and then over to an empty building site. As he turned the corner, a pipe came into view, he ducked underneath it and caught it as Martin tried to hit him in the head. Bringing a punch into Martin's nose, he rejoiced at the sound of it breaking. His body got tackled to the ground and Martin punched him across the face. Morgan kicked Martin off and quickly got to his feet as another punch came his way, he grabbed the arm and kicked out Martin's legs. As Martin fell to the ground, he put pressure on his arm. With one swift move, he broke his arm and listened as Martin let out a pained and ear-piercing scream.

Morgan pinned him to the ground and brought his broken arm behind his back.

"Stop it! That fucking hurts!"

"You deserve much more than this after what you did!" Morgan screamed angrily. "I know what you did to him. You raped him and beat him till he wasn't himself anymore."

Morgan pushed the arm back further and Martin began to thrash. "He broke the rules, I had to do it."

Bringing Martin's other hand behind to his back, Morgan sat on them and brought his gun out. He turned off the safety and put it to Martin's head. Pure anger coursed through him as he put his finger on the trigger.

"Don't kill me!"

"Why shouldn't I paint this concrete with your brain? You raped my best friend for months on end and stabbed him three times."

"Morgan, don't do it!" Hotch's voice yelled from behind him. Holding the gun to the back of Martin's head, his finger itched to pull the trigger, he wanted to kill him and give Reid peace.

He heard footsteps behind him.

"Morgan, this won't give Reid justice, don't pull the trigger," Hotch said. "I know how much you want to do it and trust me when I understand wanting to hurt him. Killing him won't make him pay for what he has done, you'll just be giving him an easy way out."

Clicking the safety back on, Morgan got off Martin and let Rossi and Hotch take over. Blake tried to put her hand on his shoulder to comfort him but he stepped back and shook his head. "I'm going back to the hospital."

Martin got handcuffed, his arms in front of him but his right arm at an awkward angle. "Wait," Martin gasped. "Why are you going back to the hospital? He's dead."

"Guess he broke another rule by staying alive," Morgan growled. "I'm not done with you yet, I'll be seeing you soon."

"He's alive! No, that's not possible."

As Hotch and Rossi led him out of the building site, Hotch tripped him and watched as he landed on his arm.

"Mind your step," Hotch said stoically as he dragged him up and out to the SUV.

* * *

_Martin had placed a hand over his mouth when he had gotten rougher. He stayed still as Martin finished, the hand over his mouth slipped away and Martin stepped back. A hand came below and began to clean him up. He pulled up his trousers when Martin finished. He turned around but kept his eyes to the floor. Rough lips came against his lips and kissed him roughly. "Look at me, Spencer."_

_Lifting his head up, he looked into his eyes._

_"Do you love me, Spencer?"_

_"I love you."_

_"I want you to understand that I had to do this to show you how much I love you. You don't belong to them, you belong to me. The next time you want to let one of those men take you again, think of this. I'll see you at home where we'll continue this discussion. Enjoy dessert."_

_Martin shoved him against the wall and left the stall. Once he heard the men's room door open and close, he turned around and vomited into the toilet. He fell to his knees and struggled to keep himself from losing control. He was in a lot of pain and knew what he wanted, he wanted the orange pill bottle back at home to just to take away the edge of the pain. Grabbing some tissue, he wiped the tears from his eyes and made his way out of the stall. He splashed water cross his face and made himself presentable. He wasn't bleeding, which was a relief and miracle considering what Martin had done. Taking a deep breath, he left the men's room and went back to the table._

_"Jesus, Reid, you look like hell," Rossi said to him._

_"I just think something hasn't agreed with my stomach, I'm fine."_

* * *

He snapped out of the memory when the door to his room opened, he looked up and found relief flowing through him as Morgan came over to his bed. "Hey, kid. We got him, he's in police custody and will be for a very long time."

Reid took in the bruise on Morgan's cheek. "What happened?"

"Martin managed to punch me but I got the upper hand."

"He still hurt you though."

"Kid, I'm fine and so is the rest of the team, you should see Martin anyway. I broke his nose and his arm, he'll also have some bruising to remember me by. I put a gun to his head and he begged me not to kill him. Hotch and the others stopped me from killing him."

"I'm happy they did," Reid smiled gently.

"Why?"

"You're not a killer, Morgan. You're my best friend and you aren't someone who can pull the trigger without needing to, it's different when we are in the field. Are you sure he's in police custody?"

"I'm sure, Hotch and Rossi took him in themselves. He knows you're alive now though but trust me, he isn't going anywhere."

"I was so scared he was going to kill you," Reid said quietly.

"I'm tougher than that, you know that. I'm so sorry about that night at the restaurant, if I had known I would have rushed in and beat him till he was bloody and broken. Instead, I went back to dinner and left you to get raped."

"I've only ever been in two relationships in my life. One, about a year before Martin and then I went into one with him."

"Who was your first?"

"His name was Harry, a wonderful man but we rushed into things and things got complicated when his ex came back into his life. I walked in and they were in bed together, he cheated on me and I just walked away. When I met Martin, he seemed wonderful and was willing to wait for us to become intimate. For six months, I was happy and I let him move in because he lost his job and was going to lose his apartment. Looking back, there were signs but not big enough for me to notice. He'd get angry when I mentioned him getting a job but he'd always make it up to me. I still shiver when I think of that night in the car. I just remember screaming into his hand and crying. He never stopped and everything I had known during our time together shattered into nothing."

Reid took a shaky breath and wiped tears from his cheeks. "When he finished, I tried to get away but he pulled me back and tied his belt around my hands, then he used my belt to gag me. Morgan, when he put me in the trunk I honestly thought he was going to take me somewhere and kill me."

Sitting on the edge on the bed, Morgan carefully put his arms around his friend. He felt Reid stiffen and tense underneath his touch, something that made his rage against Martin flare up again. "I will never hurt you, I just want to help you."

He felt Reid relax in his arms but only a small amount. They were alone in the room, JJ stood guard outside while Garcia was speaking with a nurse. He looked down when Reid leaned against him and continued to cry. He didn't say anything, he had no words to fix everything.

"I stayed with him because I became so confused and I was scared. Scared for everyone's safety and confused because after some time, I actually thought I deserved his punishment. I know it sounds strange but after a while, it messed with my head. When he hit me for coming home late, I accepted it and when I tried to fight him off when he wanted sex, he blamed me for the pain he gave to me. After a while, I didn't know if it was or wasn't rape. Everyone keeps asking why I didn't leave him or tell you all. None of you get it, he may only be one man to you but to me, he's a monster and brute."

"Calm down, you're going to upset your breathing again. Reid, you didn't do anything to deserve what he did. No-one should ever go through what you've been through. He raped you every time after that night, it was rape. You didn't do anything to deserve being hit. Now, he's nothing more than a mouse in a cage. He can't hurt you again. Reid, he had another victim," Morgan explained. "A man who he had abused for two years and then stabbed three times."

"Did he survive?"

"No, he died and no-one found him for two days. I need to ask you something. The last time he raped you, did he use a condom?"

"It felt different," Reid said. "It felt like he did, I think it broke though because I felt him finish," he sniffed. "Why?"

"I just had to ask."

The door to the room opened and Garcia stood at the door. "Reid, someone is here to see you."

"Who?" he asked.

JJ appeared with Henry next to her. "Is it okay?"

"Yeah," Reid nodded happily. "Morgan, help me sit up."

After Morgan brought the bed up, Henry walked over to the bed and stared at him. "Mommy said you got into an accident."

"Yeah," Reid said, quickly wiping away tears. "I got into an accident but I'm gonna be okay."

Morgan lifted Henry up on to the bed. Reid brought the boy into his arms and hugged him tightly. He couldn't stop himself from crying, Henry wrapped his arms around Reid's neck. "It's okay, Uncle Spence."

"I'm just so happy you're safe."

He closed his eyes as he remembered being dragged out of the trunk on that horrible night.

* * *

_He struggled and cried into his belt gag as Martin dragged him out of the trunk, strong arms held him and forced him to walk forward. Reid's eyes widened as he took in the familiar house in front of him, he knew immediately that it belonged to JJ. Martin held him close, grabbed his jaw and made him look at the house. More tears came down his cheeks as he watched Henry, JJ and Will eating their dinner, all of them laughing together._

_"LOOK AT THEM!" Martin said angrily. "You know what I can do now and I am going to fix our relationship. You think you could reject me, you're so damn selfish and I will not have it. You deserved tonight. You never tell me to go to hell ever again! This is what is going to happen, we're going to go home and we're going to become a happy couple again and all because I'm going to fix things."_

_He struggled in Martin's arms, he wanted nothing more than to run to JJ's house and get help. As a hand pulled back his head by his hair, he yelped and cringed as Martin put a kiss to his cheek. "Now listen to me, Spencer, if you ever tell anyone about our relationship, what happened tonight or anything else, I'll walk into their house and I'll kill all of them. I'll kill Henry first, then his daddy and then his mommy. Do you want their blood on your hands, Spencer? They'll go to sleep and never wake up. Do you want me to kill them?"_

_He stopped struggling as he took in the sight of all three of them. He shook his head and let out a small sob. "That's what I thought. Now, are you ever going to tell your team about us and what happened tonight?"_

_He shook his head again._

_"There are many changes coming and you won't tell the team about them either."_

_Reid cried again as Martin dragged him back into the trunk, he let out a small grunt as he got thrown back in. He looked up and saw Martin smiling. "We're gonna be so happy, babe."_

_Martin slammed the lid leaving him in complete darkness._

* * *

"I'll never let anyone hurt you, Henry."

* * *

Hotch paced outside the hospital room where Martin's arm was getting casted. As the nurse walked out, he walked in, giving the guards a small nod as he entered. Martin looked up at him as he walked in.

"Hello, Martin. Let's have a talk."

**Please review**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey, everyone. Here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Just to clarify that while there is a high possibility of Morgan and Reid coming together, I don't do MPREG, or at least I'm not doing it in this. I occasionally read it out of curiosity but I'm still treading on new ground with slash. I hope you all enjoyed Morgan going after Martin but don't think that was their last exchange, I have devious plans in store which will involve Martin and Reid again. I love to tease. In this chapter, you see an even more brutal side to Martin. Enjoy and I'd love to hear from you all.  
**

**Thank you for the reviews, I love getting them and I hope you all still like this. I love every review and will never stop saying thank you. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Hotch approached the bed, his eyes never leaving Martin's eyes. Martin had been handcuffed to the bed and wasn't going anywhere. "We know about Jeremy and what you did to him, you'll be charged for that murder too. You're being charged with the attempted murder of Spencer Reid."

"I can't believe he's alive," Martin said before letting out a smile.

"What are you smiling about?"

"We have another chance to make things work."

"You're insane," Hotch snapped. "You are going to prison for the rest of your life for what you've done. He told us about the night you turned on him, you raped him and forced him to stay with you through threats and mind games. You forced yourself on him and hurt him when he didn't want to have sex with you and then a few days ago you stabbed him three times. You're a monster."

"I'm not the monster here, you're the monster, Agent Hotchner. You wanted him all for yourself, I know that he let you all take a ride on him. I had to teach the little slut that I was all he needed."

"He's our friend, we didn't even know about his sexuality. I want to know why you did it. For six months, you acted like a perfect boyfriend to him, building up his hopes and making him feel safe. Then in one night, you shattered everything he thought was good in his life. I bet you did the same with Jeremy."

"They both broke the rules, they disrespected me and I had to show them the punishment for breaking those rules. Jeremy packing that bag and telling me he was going to leave me, no-one leaves me! Spencer got home late and then didn't like the punishment after, he broke too many rules and broke my heart."

Hotch surged forward and grabbed Martin around the throat, pinning him to the bed. "I stopped Morgan from killing you because death is too easy for you. I want you to rot in a jail cell alone and at the mercy of some bigger man than you. You broke his heart, you son of a bitch. He thought he was safe and then you turned his life into hell. You are never seeing Spencer again."

"He'll be mine again," Martin wheezed.

"He never belonged to you and he never will," Hotch growled.

* * *

Reid slept on the hospital bed with Henry asleep on his chest. Garcia, Morgan and JJ sat in three chairs lined against the wall, all of them staring at the scene on front of them, all of them thinking about how much Reid had sacrificed to protect his godson. JJ couldn't stop imagining Reid being bound and gagged near her home and threatened into staying with Martin. Morgan couldn't stop thinking about the gun in his hand back at the building site, his finger on the trigger and how fast his heart had raced when he thought about killing Martin. Garcia's mind brought her back to all the times she had seen Reid starting into nothing, she now knew what had haunted her baby boy and how much pain he had gone through.

Getting up from her seat, she grabbed a blanket she had brought from home and placed it over Henry and Reid, she looked down at her two special men and knew she wouldn't stop caring for either of them.

Reid opened his eyes, startling her for a second. He looked down and smiled at his godson. "He's safe, isn't he?"

"He's safe, he always will be safe with you as his godfather. Go back to sleep, sweetie."

"Okay," Reid yawned gently before putting his head back to the pillow, his arm around Henry pulling the boy closer.

* * *

**The next day**

Reid couldn't help shaking as the doctor brought up his t-shirt and inspected the stitched up stab wounds. Rossi was next to his bed but he didn't like the doctor touching his stomach. He closed his eyes to try escape but he got dragged into a horrible moment from his past.

* * *

_He ran up the stairs, almost tripping as he reached the top. Rushing to his door, he grabbed his keys and quickly opened it. He was five minutes late thanks to a jerk blocking the road. As he walked in, he found lit candles around the room and rose petals leading to the bedroom. His hands shook as he hung up his bag. At the beginning of his relationship he would have loved coming home to this but this meant Martin wanted to get intimate. Making his way to bedroom, he tried to calm his beating heart and the sick feeling in his stomach. He walked in and found Martin on the bed reading a book._

_"I'm sorry I'm late, Martin, there was stupid jerk blocking the road. I love what you've done."_

_"I knew you would," Martin smiled as he walked forward and kissed him. "You're late."_

_"I'm really sorry."_

_"That's okay, we'll just spend five fewer minutes together," Martin huffed, anger spilling into his voice. Reid didn't have enough time to react as Martin brought a fist into his stomach, he cried out and fell to his knees as he struggled to breathe. A vicious slap came across his face before Martin's foot stamped on his hip, he laid on the floor and began to regain control of his breathing. "Martin, baby, I'm sorry," he gasped. "Please don't hurt me."_

_"I do all this and you can't even get back on time!"_

_Martin grabbed the back of his neck and the back of his shirt, he got lifted from the floor and flung on the bed. He tried to lift himself up but moaned as Martin sat on his back. He tried to struggle as Martin grabbed his hands and put them behind his back. A pair of handcuffs came around his wrists and locked around them._

_"Martin, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to come home late. Baby, don't do this."_

_"I think I've heard enough from you," Martin said from above him. Reid struggled but failed to prevent the ball gag coming to his mouth._

_A few hours later, he woke up on the couch, he didn't remember how he had fallen asleep. He just remembered Martin cutting him with a broken glass, the beginning of a third assault and then a punch to the head. His entire body burned with pain as laid there. As he became more aware, he tried to move. Martin's arms came around him and he realised that Martin was laying on the couch behind him watching the television. His face felt horrible.  
_

_"You just lie still, Spencer. You were wonderful in bed, all I hoped for on our anniversary."_

_"I need to use the bathroom."_

_"Okay but I want you to come straight back."_

_Reid let out a painful moan as he sat up, he tried to get up but fell to the floor as he found himself unable to stand. Strong arms picked him up into a bridal style carry, he laid limp in Martin's arms and closed his eyes again as the darkness took over._

* * *

"Get off me," Reid whimpered as he hit at the doctor's hands.

"Hey, Reid, it's okay. The doctor has finished, he isn't going to hurt you."

"Just don't touch me," Reid panted as he tried to calm down. "I don't want to stay here, when can I go home?"

"In a few days, when your wounds have healed some more."

"Where is Garcia? I want her," he panicked, fearing their presence.

"Okay, I'll call her," Rossi assured him. "Doctor, I'll speak to you outside."

Rossi decided it was best if he left too. "I'll be right outside, Reid."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Garcia came into his room dressed in her purple and pink pyjamas with rollers in her hair. Reid took her in the sight of her and couldn't help but let out a small giggle, the memory that had tormented him now receding to the back of his mind. Garcia walked forward and began to laugh too. "I'm happy that the sight of me makes you laugh again."

"I didn't know you were at home," he said. "I'm sorry for bringing you down here."

"Put your sorry in a box, Spencer, I'm all of yours. Morgan is bringing in some stuff in a little while, if you're staying here for the next few days, I'm going to make sure you feel comfortable and safe. They transferred Martin to a secure prison, he isn't coming after you. Rossi said on the phone that you got scared with him and the doctor."

"I went back into a bad memory. I didn't like the doctor touching me."

"What was the memory?"

"Martin celebrated a year of us being together, our anniversary, and it is not a night I like remembering. I came home late and he had lit candles and put out rose petals. When I got to the bedroom he got angry and began to beat me. He threw me to the bed, handcuffed me and put a ball gag in my mouth. I remember him assaulting me three times, every time more painful than the last. He cut me, hit me and licked away my tears. I don't remember a lot after he punched me in the back of the head. When I woke up, we were laying on the couch. I tried to go to the bathroom but I fell to the floor because I was in so much pain. He picked me up but I fell unconscious again. One hell of an anniversary."

"Oh, Reid," she said as she held his hand.

"How do you forget a night like that?" he asked.

"By creating a thousand more good ones to bury it," she smiled gently. "We'll help you through this, I promise."

**Please review**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey, everyone. Here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I must admit that you almost didn't get this chapter today as I've felt off all weekend. It's not natural to sleep twelve hours and still feel tired. Luckily, I had a Lucozade and have perked up a bit so I was able to do this chapter for you all. This is just a nice little chapter where we go more into Reid's emotions and his memories, you'll also find that Garcia isn't the only one who Reid trusts a lot. Enjoy and I hope to hear from you all.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're awesome and I just want give you all a giant bear hug! Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**A few days later**

Reid sat in the SUV as the others put all the things Garcia had brought to the hospital in the back, he looked out of the window and watched as some people left the hospital with a smile on their face while some left with red eyes and grief-stricken hearts. He didn't know how to feel, he didn't feel like himself and he hadn't felt like himself for a very long time, he wasn't sure the man he had once been existed anymore. That man got beaten and forced upon so many times that he had crawled into a dark abyss and stayed there. His stomach still hurt and he knew it would for a some time. He came out of his daydreaming as Garcia slid into the backseat and sat next to him.

"Are you okay?" Garcia asked gently.

"Not really," he admitted. "I don't think I'll be okay for a while. Am I going home?"

"Your going to stay with me," she smiled. "We all thought that it'd be better for you stay with one of us till you feel better."

"I don't want to become a burden."

"You could never be a burden. I've got the next week off work and I'm going to make you smile all the time. Everyone wants to help you get better, especially Morgan, he tracked down your storage locker and he's bringing some of your things to my apartment."

"It's been a while since I've seen my things."

"I know," she said, stroking some hair behind his ears. "Don't worry, I told him to bring all your favourite things."

"Garcia, I want to find a new apartment, I can't go back there after everything he did. There are so many memories there and I don't want a reminder of them everyday."

"When you're better we can go apartment hunting and find you somewhere with a wonderful view."

"Thanks, Garcia."

* * *

**Later that night**

Morgan finished bringing in the last box from the car, he looked over to the couch and found Reid sleeping peacefully there. He walked over and stood above him.

"He's not going anywhere," Garcia said quietly. Morgan looked up at her and gave her a gentle smile.

"I know," he sighed before walking over to her, they walked into the kitchen together. "I just feel so guilty for not protecting him. Garcia, we had dinner while he got raped, I was right there and I didn't stop it."

"Morgan, he said himself that he hid it. He said not to blame yourself for what happened."

"How can I not feel guilty? He can tell me not to feel this way all he wants but I can't ever forget that distant look he used to have and the haunted one that he has now. I asked him what was wrong the day of Henry's birthday, he tensed up at my touch and he argued with me when I tried to talk to him. I went to check on him that night because I knew that something was wrong and I wanted to sort things out here and then."

"You feel guilty for not being there for him, Morgan, but you were there the one moment you really needed to be . Without you going and checking on him, he wouldn't be here. He wouldn't be sleeping on my couch now, instead he would be in a grave and we would all feel nothing but an empty space in our hearts which he fills. You saved him the night Martin stabbed him and left him for dead, you were there for him, Morgan and trust me, I know you'll be there for him for as long as he needs you and beyond. I feel guilty for not realising sooner what was going on. If I had known, I would have gone with a knife and cut Martin's junk off."

"You know, Garcia, you have a wonderful way of making people feel better."

"Why do you think he's staying with me?" she laughed gently before touching his face. "Don't worry, he'll be himself again in no time."

"He'll be something in no time but I'm not sure he'll ever be himself again."

* * *

He slept gently and found himself haunted by memories of his past, both good and bad.

* * *

_"Martin, stop!" Reid giggled as Martin carried him up the stairs to the apartment over his shoulder, Martin carried him in and put him down on the table. Martin rushed back and closed the apartment door before coming back and climbing on the table too. They kissed each other and Reid felt wonderful after the night they had gone for dinner. Martin began undoing his belt when they hear a creak and then a loud cracking noise. They rolled to the floor in a fit of laughter as the table collapsed beneath them._

_"I love you, Spencer," Martin said stroking Reid's cheek._

_"I love you too," he grinned before grabbing Martin's tie, pulling him down and kissing him._

* * *

_He stayed on the couch as Martin came into the apartment, he looked to the door and watched as he stumbled putting his coat up. Switching off the television, Reid made his way off the couch and tried to go into the kitchen. A hand reached out and grabbed his wrist. "Where d-do you think you're go-going?" Martin slurred as he pulled Reid close to him and planted a sloppy kiss to his cheek._

_"Martin, I'm just getting some water for you, you're drunk."_

_"I had a few drinks," Martin giggled before putting his hands around Reid's hips and lifted him up. He panicked as Martin pinned him against the wall and kissed him again._

_"Martin, please stop. You're drunk and you need some water to clear your head."_

_"I know exactly what I want to do."_

_Martin brought him away from the wall and laid him down on the couch. "I love you so much, Spencer. You're just the most wonderful man in the world. I'm so afraid of losing you. You'll never leave me, promise me that you'll never leave me."_

_"I'll never leave you, Martin, you know I won't."_

_"You'll miss the good stuff that I give you."_

_Reid squirmed under his touch as Martin sloppily put his hand down his trousers. Martin turned him over and took down his pyjama bottoms, a hand came over his mouth and he screamed as Martin began, not preparing him or being gentle._

_"Shhh...just enjoy it," Martin slurred. "I know you always like it rough."_

_He cried as Martin grabbed his hip with one hand in a hurtful grip and continued._

* * *

He woke up and found himself surrounded in a low light, he looked around the room and found himself in Garcia's spare room. He looked outside the window and found it was now dark. He didn't think he had slept that long. Slowly, he got out of bed and made his way into the hall. He stopped when he heard voices coming from the living room. He listened as they continued to talk

"Morgan, he said himself that he was happy you didn't kill Martin," Garcia said.

"I know but when I had the gun to his head, I just imagined what that night in the car must have been like for Reid. We weren't there for a week after that. We all know he would come into work with an arrow through his hand before call in sick, yet we all thought nothing of it, I should have killed that bastard at the building site. Part of me worries that Reid has some strange sense of battered person syndrome. He said he was happy because he didn't want me to turn in a killer. What if he was happy for other reasons?"

Reid felt a flare of anger inside him.

"Don't be stupid, Morgan. I've never understood this about you two, he didn't want you to kill Martin because he knows how deep this is for you too. I know it's not the same as Buford but you understand how much it hurts being forced to do something you don't want to do. When you take down an unsub it's different, you shoot to save lives and to stop a threat. You stopped Martin when you had him pinned to the floor, he wasn't a threat. Reid didn't want you to kill him because you're a kind man and he didn't want to taint the kindness with Martin's blood. I do think that Reid has some aspects of battered person syndrome but he doesn't love Martin."

"Garcia, he did once and that loves just doesn't disappear."

"It didn't disappear," she said. "It turned to pain, horror and fear. Reid doesn't love Martin anymore, he did once but that got destroyed on that horrible night in the car."

Reid began to cry as he listened, every time he thought he couldn't cry anymore, he found more tears. He had never really thought about having battered person syndrome but he did know he had it. He thought the violence and abuse was his fault sometimes, he blamed Martin sometimes but often had thoughts of where he blamed himself. During the relationship he had feared for Henry's safety and remained in the abusive relationship to keep him safe and he had always seen Martin as this all-powerful monster who couldn't get hurt. He had adopted these beliefs during the relationship and he knew he had other symptoms of the syndrome. He had grown to hate his body, had avoided people and other things in attempts to get Martin to stop hurting him.

"Kid, we can hear you crying," Morgan called. "Come in here."

He walked into the living room and sat on the couch, sitting between both of them. Morgan went to get up but Reid leaned against him, surprising both Morgan and Garcia. Morgan put his arms around him carefully. He thought Reid didn't like men being around him. "Kid, I thought you didn't like men being around you."

"You understand, Morgan. You know how frightened I was every time he raped me and I know you'll protect me. I don't love him anymore but I'll always fear him."

"I'll protect you, don't worry about that," Morgan said.

**Please review**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey, everyone. Here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm so happy you're still enjoying this and I love writing it. In the next chapter, a very bad man will come back to haunt our Spencer and you all know who it'll be. There will also be danger and not just for our Reid. Enjoy this chapter and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, you're amazing and I just want to give you all diamonds and stars. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Garcia rubbed her eyes as she woke up from her gentle slumber, she turned her alarm clock to face her and found it was three am in the morning, she decided to get out of bed and make some warm milk for herself. She slid her slippers on and made her way out of her bedroom. She was about go to the kitchen when she heard the sound of soft sobs coming from Reid's room. As she pushed the door open, her heart began to break at the sight of Reid crying into his pillow. She sat on the edge of the bed and put her hand on his shoulder, she felt the sobs coursing through his body.

"Reid, did you have a nightmare?" she asked.

He shook his head and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I can't sleep."

"Why can't you sleep?" Garcia asked, feeling stupid for even asking the question.

"I can feel him holding me," he shook his head. "When we would sleep in the bed, he always held me close to him, he wanted me to stay close and he'd get angry when I needed to go to the bathroom. Garcia, I can still feel his arms around me and feel his hot breath on my neck. He did so much to me in that bed and I was alone in that nightmare."

Garcia walked around the bed, she climbed on the bed with him and slipped under the covers.

"W-What are you doing?" he sniffed. She laid him down on his side and then laid next to him, she put her arms around him and held him close.

"He isn't here, Reid and he'll never be here again. The arms around you are mine and only mine, you're safe in my arms. Go to sleep, I'm here and I'll keep you safe."

He laid against the pillow and held her arms as he closed his eyes. He could smell her perfume and that gave him comfort, Martin only ever used to smell of body wash and alcohol. Within a few minutes, he fell into a soft slumber.

* * *

_Eating his dinner, he made sure to eat it quickly after being beaten the week before. Martin was looking through the mail, Reid watched as Martin dropped the other envelopes to the table and opened one._

_"Dear Spencer," Martin smiled stiffly. "You got a letter from your mommy."_

_Putting down his fork, Spencer looked at the pages of writing in Martin's hand, he didn't dare reach for them without Martin's permission. "Can I see the letter, Martin?"_

_"You send her one everyday according to her, I don't remember giving you permission to send them. Are you sending them from work?"_

_"Martin, she needs the comfort those letters give her and I know you told me not to do it anymore but I have to, please don't be angry with me."_

_Martin kicked his chair back and made his way to the kitchen, Reid followed after him and panicked as he watched him turn a burner from the stove on. The letter neared the flames. "Martin, no!"_

_"I can't let this go unpunished, Spencer, you have to learn the consequences of breaking my rules. Not hearing from your mother should suffice."_

_Reid hated himself for what he was about to do but he knew Martin would spare his mother's letter if he did it. Going to Martin, he got on his knees and touched his belt. He began to unbuckle it when Martin grabbed his hand. "What are you doing?"_

_"I'll accept any punishment you want to give me and I'll make you feel good too. Just please let me read the letter, I'm begging you not to burn it. I love you and I know you love me too."_

_Martin turned off the burner and put the letter on the side. "Get on with it, Spencer, or I may change my mind."_

_Reid looked at the letter and then took the belt back into his hands, he pulled down the trousers and pulled Martin free._

* * *

He woke to find a cup of hot chocolate on the bedside table, Garcia was gone but the television was on in his room. Gently sitting up, he ignored the pain in his stomach and took the cup into his hands. He relished the warmth it brought to his body and to his empty stomach. He hated his dreams, he forever continued to dream of all the bad times with Martin. He remembered the night he'd given pleasure to Martin and endured much more to read his mother's letter. He remembered every word of that letter and the pain had been worth being able to read a letter from his mother.

He turned off the television when JJ and Blake came to his door. "Hey," he smiled gently.

"Hey, Spence," JJ smiled before coming forward with two red gift bags. "This one is from Henry and the other one is from Will and me."

"You didn't need to, JJ."

"It's just things to make you smile. Henry wants to come by later if that's okay with you."

"I'd like that," he said before taking the bag sent from Henry. He opened it, pulled out a card and opened it. He grinned and felt a surge of happiness as he read the card. In very untidy writing, Henry had written_ 'Get Well soon, Uncle Spencer'_. He held the card close to his chest for a moment before putting it on the bedside table. He pulled out a truck that he knew was Henry's favourite toy, he turned it over his hands. "Why did he send this?"

"It makes him happy and he hopes it makes you happy too," JJ explained as she sat on the edge of the bed. He kept the toy truck next to him as he pulled out other items such as more little toys, Henry's favourite book and a DVD of Scooby doo. He loved all of them and loved his godson for sending him this. JJ put her bag forward, he opened it up and pulled out new books, a doctor who box set and tablet device.

He held out the tablet. "I can't accept this."

"Yes you can," JJ said, pushing it back into his hands. "It's also for Henry in a way, we have one at home and with this, you can Skype with him. You can also look up things too and keep in contact with us. I know you aren't coming back to the office for some time."

"We've sorted all that with the directors," Blake said as she sat on the other side of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"You didn't tell them everything, did you?"

"Reid-" JJ began.

"They know, don't they?" he said, shaking his head in shame.

"They got hold of the police report. They aren't judging you, Spencer, they are going to give you all the time you need to recover."

"All the time I need to recover," he laughed before touching his stomach. "I'll go back and every agent there will know how weak I am. They'll all know what Martin did to me."

"No, they won't," Blake assured him. "You're not weak."

"I let a monster beat, rape and humiliate me for near eight months. How is that not weak?"

"Y-You let him do those things to protect Henry," JJ said, her eyes tearing up. "You let it happen to protect my family, that doesn't make you weak, that makes you one of the strongest people I know. No-one thinks you're weak."

JJ came forward and hugged him.

"Thank you for keeping Henry safe," she whispered before hugging him tighter.

* * *

_Standing on the ledge of the bridge, he felt the cold wind run through his body. One step and he could make it all end, Martin wouldn't be able to hurt him if he jumped, Henry would stay safe because he knew Martin would just move on before the team could find him. He almost lost his balance on the ledge when his phone began to ring. He pulled it out and answered it. "Hello."_

_"Hey, Uncle Spence," Henry's voice came down the phone._

_"Hey, Henry. Why are you calling?"_

_"I'm having a birthday party, mommy wants me to invite you. Will you come, Uncle Spence?"_

_He quickly stepped away from the edge and climbed back over the railing. "I'd love to come, Henry. You know I'll always be there for you."_

_"Yay," Henry called down his phone. Reid closed his eyes and hated himself for almost letting his godson down._

* * *

He snapped out of the memory as Henry ran into room. "Uncle Spence, you're home."

Henry climbed on the bed and hugged him, he hugged him back and smiled as Henry came away from the hug and sat in front of him. "Are you feeling better?"

"I am now," he said to Henry. "Thank you for the gift bag."

"You're sad and I wanted to make you feel happy again."

"Henry, you're the most wonderful little boy in the world and I want you to know that I'll always keep you safe."

"I know you will," Henry nodded. "Mommy tells me that you will keep me safe before I go to sleep. Wanna play?"

* * *

JJ walked towards the bedroom but stopped a few steps before the door, she leaned against the wall and put her hand over her heart. Sat on the bed was Spencer and Henry, both playing with toy trucks and both smiling.

**Please review**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I know I've been away for a few days and I do apologise but I had to do some things in my private life to sort out, I had a friend's birthday and I had to sort some stuff out at hospital. Sorry for the delay in the posting this and I hope you can all forgive me. Okay, so this chapter is chock full of suspense and action. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'd love to hear from you all as I am super nervous about this chapter.  
**

**Warning - non con in this chapter**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're such amazing readers and I adore you all. You're wonderful. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid laid in the bed, three days had passed since Henry had come and visited him. He still had secrets and he felt them rotting inside of him. He trusted his team but didn't want them to think he was too damaged and beyond repair. He had not touched the sandwich on the bedside table, he heard Garcia baking and for most of the day, the apartment had smelled of chocolate and cakes. She was baking to make herself feel better and he blamed himself for making her feel sad. He stared out the window and let his mind wander.

* * *

_Reid whimpered into the gag as Martin sat on his hips, he tugged at the belts that Martin had used to tie his wrists to the bed. He shook his head as Martin tipped the candle, he struggled as the hot wax hit his stomach._

_"Spencer, I don't understand why you're not enjoying this. Some people find pain during sex enjoyable," Martin said unhappily. He brought the candle up and let it burn again. Using his spare hand, he trailed his hand down Reid's face and then down his body. "I'm so lucky to have fallen in love with someone so handsome. Spencer, you're just perfect, in more ways than one."_

_Martin tipped the candle again and poured wax on Reid's nipple. Reid struggled again and tried to beg through the gag._

_"Shhh," Martin grinned as he blew out the candle and put it down in a bowl on the bedside table. He leaned down and began to kiss Spencer down his neck and chest, he then used his tongue to trail his way back up Reid's body and to his mouth. Martin ripped out the gag and kissed Reid passionately._

* * *

"Hello, Reid."

Reid snapped out his daze to see Rossi standing at the door, Rossi came to the bed and sat on the edge. "Hey, Rossi, I'm sorry I didn't hear you come in."

"It's not healthy to let your mind wander to bad times, Reid."

"I can't help it sometimes, I try to remember good things in my life but the memories always fight and they always win. If I told you something, would you think any less of me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Answer the question," Reid said. "If I told you something, would you think any less of me?"

"Nothing you tell me will make me think any less of you. What do you want to tell me?"

"Not long before Henry's birthday, I got very low. I wanted Martin to stop hurting me and I wanted to feel loved by someone instead of used as an object for their pleasure. Rossi, I went to a bridge, climbed over the rail and stood at the edge. I stared at the concrete below and thought about how quick it would end everything. Martin wouldn't be able to hurt me anymore, he'd move on quickly to avoid detection which I knew would mean that Henry would stay safe. I thought I could solve everything by ending my life."

"You wanted to commit suicide," Rossi said with wide eyes.

"I stepped to the ledge and was ready to do it," he continued, he wiped a stray tear with his hand. "I closed my eyes and went to jump but my phone began to ring, I almost lost my balance but I regained it. I answered the phone and it was Henry, he was calling to invite me to his birthday party. I felt so ashamed of myself at that moment. I climbed back over the rail and told Henry that I would come to his party because I would always be there for him. Henry saved my life that night. Thinking back, I don't understand why I was even at the edge of the bridge. I let Martin do the things he did to protect Henry and yet, I was ready to jump that night and put him through the grief of losing a godfather. I promised JJ that I'd protect Henry and I almost broke that promise that night."

Reid couldn't look Rossi in the eye.

"Spencer, you were going through a horrific ordeal at the hands of monster. It isn't surprising that you had those thoughts but it scares me to know how close you came to ending your life. You know the statistics for suicides related to abusive relationships. Don't ever have those thoughts again though. You're safe now and no-one can hurt you now. Never be afraid to come to us for help. I don't think any less of you and the team won't feel any different either. How are you feeling?"

"I don't know how to feel, Rossi. I can't forget how that knife felt as he stabbed me over and over and I can't forget the first time he ever raped me."

"How did you feel the first time he hurt you?"

"Terrified and betrayed. I woke up after he knocked me out and I just couldn't understand why he was doing it. When he started, I felt my heart turn to glass and smash into small pieces, the pain was unbearable and I couldn't even scream for help because of his hand over my mouth. After eight months, sometimes I just laid there when he would lay me down on the couch and rape me. I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I just stared at the ceiling and let him do it. He was happy and then I could go and cry in the bathroom."

"Were you ever hospitalised?"

"I found it hard to breathe once so I went to a free clinic, I didn't use my real name and I didn't stay there for long. He had broken two of my ribs. I took a few days off from work for that. He just did things to me during the time I was healing. Rossi, how long do you think it will take for me to become normal again?"

"It will take some time, Reid, but we'll be there for you."

* * *

**A few days later**

Martin climbed out of the car, a smile came across his face as he grabbed the keys from the unconscious or dead guard that was taking him to the hospital and unlocked his handcuffs. He wasn't far away from his home, the home he had shared with Spencer. He had the perfect way to bring his love back to him without a fight. He looked at the rising sun and smiled at the second chance he was about to get. He saw petrol leaking from the overturned car, he pressed in the cigarette burner and waited for it to get hot. As he took it out, he walked away, turned around and threw the burner into petrol.

* * *

**Three hours later**

Reid laid in bed, he woke up to find his phone going off. He reached up and looked at his cellphone, wondering who was calling him. He was alone in the apartment after the directors had called everyone in. He answered the call. "Hello."

"Hello, Spencer," Martin's voice came down the phone.

"Martin," Reid whispered in fear. "You're in prison."

"Not anymore," he laughed down the phone. "Now, don't even think about calling anyone for help. I want you to come back to your apartment, back to the place we first made love."

"What makes you think I would go back to you? You tried to kill me."

He heard the phone shuffling then someone crying. "Uncle Spence," Henry cried down the phone. Reid felt a hand of ice and fear grip his heart as he listened to his godson crying.

"Henry, it's okay, uncle Spence is coming to get you."

"I'm scared," Henry sobbed down the phone.

"I know you're scared and I'm so sorry," Reid said down the phone as he tried to assure his godson that he was coming to save him. "I'm coming to save you. I need you to be a brave boy till I get there. I love you and I won't let him hurt you. I'm coming."

"Better hurry, honey," Martin ordered down the phone before disconnecting the call. He threw off the covers and grabbed some shoes, he ignored the ache of his stomach and grabbed a jacket. He wasn't going to let Martin hurt his godson.

* * *

He made it up the stairs and came to the door of his old apartment. He turned the knob and found the door unlocked, he walked in and found Martin sat on a chair with a grin on his face. Reid found himself shivering with fear.

"Where's Henry?" he demanded.

"He's safe and he behaved after speaking with you."

"I want to see him, I want proof he's safe."

"You don't give me orders, Spencer," Martin said. "Now, come here and give me a kiss."

"I'm not doing anything till I know he's safe. Please, Martin, he's scared and you know how much I care about him. Let me see him and calm him down, please. I'll do anything you want after I see him."

"Bedroom closet," Martin motioned. Reid rushed to the bedroom closet and unlocked it quickly. He opened it to find Henry crying, restrained and gagged. Kneeling down, he ripped the gag out and hugged his godson close. He felt Henry's tears on his shirt.

"Uncle Spencer, I'm s-scared," Henry cried as Reid brought him away and checked him over, he felt rage in his heart when he found a dark and painful bruise across Henry's cheek.

He held Henry close and stroked his blond hair. "It's okay, Henry. I won't let him hurt you again. Shhh, it's okay. I'm going to keep you safe."

Reid turned to Martin. "Why did you hit him?"

"He wouldn't behave."

"Martin, he's a child. I'm begging you, let him go. Just let him go."

"He's insurance, Spencer. I know how you just love to break rules. He'll stay till I consider you obedient again. Step back from the closet."

Reid turned to Henry and looked into his eyes. "I'll be back soon. I need you to stay brave, I want you to think about your birthday and how fun it was. Think about all the fun times you've had with your mommy and daddy. I'll be back and then we'll go see them."

Reid put Henry in the corner of the closet and then reached up, he pulled out a hidden glow stick.

"Where did that come from?" Martin questioned.

"You used to lock me in the closet in the dark, I guess I broke another rule," Reid snapped, not caring about Martin. He snapped the stick and the closet filled with green light. He gave it to Henry's bound hands and kissed his godson's head. "I'll be right back, think about all the good times and don't think about what you hear."

"I love you, Uncle Spence," Henry cried.

"I love you too, Henry and I promise I'll keep you safe."

He closed the door and got back to his feet. He locked the door, not for Martin, but for Henry. If anything went wrong, he would need time to stop Martin. A hand grabbed his hair and threw him to the bed. Rough hands turned him to his back and Martin sat on his hips, Reid struggled as Martin began to try to take down his trousers. He kept his arms above him as Martin brought down his trousers and boxers. He needed to let Martin do this to distract him. He let out a small cry as Martin began to violate him, Martin let out a moan before burying his head to Reid's shoulder and kissing his neck. It took a moment for him to adjust to the pain before he brought out the object under his sleeve, he flicked up the part he needed and knew he had to aim properly. As his body moved up and down, Martin bit into his neck.

In one swift moment, he brought down the small blade and stabbed it into Martin's neck. Martin let out a shriek and rolled off Reid, he fell to the floor and clutched his neck as blood spurted and flowed quickly from it. Reid pulled up his boxers and trousers, he winced and breathed through the pain. He rose to his feet with the pen knife still in his hand. He had concealed it, it had been a gift from a professor he had lectured with. He stood above Martin and kicked away the man's hand as it tried to clutch his ankle.

"I was so afraid of you," Reid snarled angrily. "The moment you took my godson was the moment I stopped being afraid."

Martin slumped to the floor and his eyes became wide and still. Reid stepped away from all the blood, he moaned and felt between his legs. He brought away his hand to see blood but it wasn't too bad. He wiped his hand on the bed and limped to the closet. He checked himself for more blood but found he had escaped most of Martin's blood, he opened the closet door a fraction and knelt, ignoring the pain.

"Henry, keep your eyes closed, I don't want you to see anything as we leave," he said as he took away the tape around his godson's wrists and ankles. He hugged Henry close.

"Are you okay?" Henry asked.

"I'm okay. Let's call your mommy and daddy."

* * *

Will was the first one to arrive at the apartment, he opened the door and heard Reid and Henry talking in Reid's spare room. He rushed in to find Reid rocking Henry and comforting him.

"Daddy!" Henry shouted. Reid let him go and Will brought his son into a hug and held him. "Daddy, he hurt Nancy, is she okay?"

Will had sent others from the police department to check on Nancy, Henry's sitter.

"Daddy's friends are checking on her now, I'm sure she's fine."

Moments later, they heard footsteps pound up the stairs outside and rush in. "Henry!" JJ called, she rushed forward and Will passed Henry to her. She touched the bruise on his cheek and hugged him close. Morgan and the others rushed to the spare room.

"JJ, take Henry out of the apartment," Reid said stoically.

"Okay," she nodded. She didn't argue after seeing the look in his eyes, Will followed after her and they left the apartment.

Hotch and Morgan knelt in front of him. "Reid, are you okay?"

"He's in the bedroom, I had to do it to protect Henry, I killed him."

He held out a black pen knife and laid it to his side. Rossi disappeared with Blake to look in the bedroom, Garcia came in and knelt too.

"You had to do it, Reid. I'm sorry, we didn't know he had even escaped. I have Anderson checking on things now," Hotch assured him.

"I need to go to the hospital," he said, his voice shaking.

"Why?" Garcia asked.

"I had to keep him distracted, I let him do it and then stabbed him when he was too busy and too distracted. I'm bleeding," he whispered before looking at Morgan with eyes that told him everything.

Morgan came forward and hugged Reid, he felt his friend shake in his arms. "It's okay," he whispered to Reid. Morgan looked to Hotch. "Hotch, he needs a rape kit."

"I protected Henry, didn't I?" Reid cried as everything caught up with him.

"Yes, you did," Garcia said as she held his hand. "He's safe. It's okay, Reid."

**Please review**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. LaRieNGuBleR, bring on your poison ivy, the evil empress/cliffy queen is immune to such things. I know I was a little evil in the last chapter but what happened has affected Reid and as you'll see, how Reid is starts to affect Morgan. There is some sad moments in this chapter but I know you'll enjoy it. Enjoy and I'd love to hear from you all. Thanks for the awesome response on the last chapter.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're awesome and superb, I just love you all! Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

He winced as the doctor began to do the rape exam, he held Morgan's hand tightly and stared at the ceiling, he had been asleep when they had done the first rape exam, the exam that had revealed everything on the night Martin had stabbed him. Morgan came to his side and blocked his view of the doctor, Reid trusted Morgan and only felt comfortable with him being in the room. He had sent the others to care for Henry.

"Reid, she's almost done," Morgan tried to soothe but he knew his words didn't make a single dent in the humiliation and pain his best friend was feeling. He turned to look a the doctor. "How much longer?"

"One more swab and then I have to do a few stitches," she answered. "I'll be as quick as I can."

Morgan kept blocking Reid's view as the doctor finished the exam and stitches. When she had finished, Morgan helped Reid sit up and covered his friend's legs over with a blanket. "Doctor, can I have a few minutes alone with Spencer?"

"Is that what you want Spencer?" the doctor asked.

"Yes," Reid whispered gently.

"I'll be back in a few minutes to take you to your room," she nodded before leaving the room.

The moment the door closed, Reid let out a broken sob and clenched the blanket in his hand tightly. Morgan sat down and put his arms down his friend, Reid leaned against him and continued to cry. "Just let it out, kid."

"He grabbed me and threw me on the bed, I just let him do it, I couldn't think of another way to distract him. I can still feel him as he did it and I can feel where he bit me. I just wanted to keep Henry safe. I didn't though," he cried.

"Reid, no, you protected Henry. You're the reason he is at home with JJ and Will, why are you thinking like this?"

"He still kidnapped Henry and Henry was so scared on the phone, he was crying and I've never heard his voice shake like that before. Morgan, for the rest of his life, he'll be haunted by what happened. Martin hit him across the face and you saw the bruise, he must have hit him hard. It's all my fault," Reid cried. "I didn't protect him from Martin, all I wanted to do was protect him."

"You did protect him," Morgan shook his head. "He's alive and he's safe."

Reid continued to cry and Morgan felt helpless as he held his friend, he knew that there was only one person who could calm Reid down.

* * *

**The next day**

The doctor had discharged Reid but with orders to get plenty of rest and to take his medication, Morgan used a wheelchair to take him to the car and helped him get in. Reid stared out the window as they left the parking area and made their way into traffic. He closed his eyes and couldn't stop his mind going back to one of Martin's most violent acts.

* * *

_"Spencer, open this door!" Martin shouted before he hit the bathroom door, the lock held and Reid looked up with tears streaming down his cheeks. He had run into the bathroom when Martin had started to yell at him for not making enough money. He jumped when another fist hit the door. "Spencer, the longer I have to wait for this door to open, the worst it'll be for you."_

_"Baby, please, I just need some time. I'm sorry about not making enough money. Maybe if you got a job-" he tried to say before Martin began screaming at him again._

_"GET A JOB!" Martin yelled through the door. "No, I will not take orders from a piece of shit like you. Now, open the damn door or I'll break it down."_

_Reid looked at the door and hoped that the lock would hold, Martin had gotten drunk and angry, he didn't want to leave the bathroom because he knew that Martin would hurt him severely. He flinched and scrambled away from the door as Martin kicked it open. In desperation, he managed to run under Martin's arm but a hand grabbed his shirt and threw him into the wall. As he turned, Martin delivered a brutal punch to his stomach and then another punch to his ribs, he turned Reid around and pressed him stomach first into the wall._

_"M-Martin," Reid coughed through sobs. "I'm sorry."_

_Reid wasn't able to get another word out as Martin grabbed his head and smashed it into the wall causing everything to go dark._

* * *

_As he woke up, he found himself naked and in an immense amount of pain, his eyes fluttered as he struggled to stay awake and he could hear faint voices coming from near the bed, he closed his eyes but listened as the two men spoke._

_"How much then?" a man whose voice he didn't recognise said._

_"Three hundred, same the others paid," Martin answered._

_"He looks a little beat up, you sure he hasn't got anything."_

_"I'm clean and the others used protection, he's clean. Do you want a go or not?"_

_He heard a rustle and then felt a weight on top of him, everything went dark before he registered what was happening._

* * *

Reid opened his eyes and felt tears burning them.

"Reid, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"

"$1200," Reid whispered but it was loud enough for Morgan to hear.

"Kid, what are you talking about?"

"He wanted to do some work on his car but he couldn't because I didn't make enough money. I had already paid out for my mother's expenses and he got so angry with me, I ran into the bathroom and sat there as he began to hit the door, he kept hitting and then he finally kicked down the door. I managed to run under his arm but he caught me and thew me into a wall, he punched me in the stomach twice and then smashed my head into the wall. I woke up briefly to hear these voices and I was in immense pain, I didn't know why. When I regained consciousness later that day, he had a huge smile on his face while I was laying in sheets smeared with blood. Four men, three hundred dollars each. He had friends who knew people who liked to pay for sex."

"No," Morgan said, wishing with all his might that he had it all wrong.

"When I was unconscious, he let four men rape me for three hundred dollars each. He didn't beat me or rape me for a week after that. He was too busy with the car, it was only time I got off from the abuse. That entire week, I scrubbed and scrubbed my skin when I got a chance, the feeling of self-hatred never went away. I'm worth three hundred dollars, Morgan."

Morgan pulled over the car and got out of the car, he paced around before kicking the car and letting out a scream of rage. Reid stayed in the car until Morgan got into the car and began to drive again.

"I'm sorry," Reid said.

"Stop saying that!" Morgan shouted before he gripped the steering wheel to bring in his emotions, Reid shook in his seat and bit his lip. He went to say sorry but stopped himself.

"I'm really sorry for shouting at you, kid," Morgan sighed. "Listen to me, you don't have to say sorry for things that are not your fault. I know, deep inside, Martin beat you into thinking that everything was your fault but none of it was your fault. I had to get out of the car because it hurts me to know that you went through that. He sold you to other men to make money to pay for a car part. He spoke of wanting a relationship with you and then raped you in a public restroom because he thought you were cheating, damn bastard. Reid, stop apologising all the time, you've not done anything wrong."

"You're not angry with me?" Reid said quietly.

"No, I'm angry, I could never ever be angry with you. We're going to JJ's because I want you to talk with Henry."

"No, I don't want to talk with Henry, I don't want him to hate me."

"He doesn't hate you, he loves you. Reid, you let a monster who had subjected you to hell, hurt you so you could do what needed to be done to save Henry. You spent eight months and endured all Martin did to you to protect that little boy."

"Will you come in with me? I'm scared of how he'll be."

"He'll be fine," Morgan smiled. "I'll go in with you."

"Thanks, Morgan."

**Please review**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter as I enjoyed writing it. It has some nice moments in. Things aren't over for Spencer but that moment won't come till the next chapter. I've decided to go slash on this with Reid and Morgan and you see the beginning of it at the end of this chapter. LaRieNGuBleR, if you bring milk to my doorstep, I'll bake the cookies and cupcakes. Even the empress enjoys baking tasty treats. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're awesome and magnificent. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid walked into JJ's house, he felt uncomfortable and more afraid than he had ever been. He could face being hated by everyone but his own team and especially by his own godson. He took a seat in the living room and pulled his sleeves over his hands. Will and JJ walked in first and Morgan left. "Where are you going?" he asked Morgan.

"He'll be back soon, he's going to look after Henry while we talk with you."

"I'll be back soon," Morgan smiled gently before leaving the room. Reid looked to JJ and Will, he saw the look in their eyes and looked back to his lap.

"Spencer, we wanted to talk to you," Will said.

"I'm so sorry, I know it's my fault," Reid shook his head, he sniffed and wiped tears from his eyes. "I know you're angry."

He felt a hand touch his hand and looked up to find JJ now kneeling in front of him, she held his hand and put her other hand under his chin. She lifted it up so he faced her. "Why on earth would you think we are angry with you?"

"Henry got kidnapped and hit because of me, this happened because of me. I didn't know Martin would escape, I swear, I don't expect you to forgive me for what happened."

"Spencer, stop this," Will sighed as he walked over and sat next to him. "What happened is not your fault, I owe you everything for what you did to save my son from Martin. You let that man hurt you and do unspeakable things to you for eight months to protect Henry and you killed Martin to make sure that Henry would stay safe for the rest of his life. I know how you distracted him and I know that has done more damage to you. We aren't angry, we just wanted to say thank you for saving our son and for bringing him home safe."

"I started a relationship with Martin, everything that has followed has been my fault."

"Spence, stop thinking that now," JJ scolded gently. "You said yourself that he made you happy for six months, you didn't know what he truly was till after that horrible night."

"He did," Reid nodded before letting out a hitched breath. "I thought he was perfect but he just turned on me. I wanted to run after that night in the car but he didn't let me. I don't know what makes sense sometimes. I hear his voice in my head and he's telling me that everything is my fault. He hit me when I did things wrong, everything I did was wrong to him."

"None of this is your fault," she said gently. "You saved Henry and you can finally get better now that monster is dead. We'll be here every step of the way and we'll help you overcome what that monster did to you. Henry wants to see you, I'm going to bring him in and you can hear it from him. He doesn't blame you for anything and we don't blame you for anything either. We will never stop thanking you for saving our little boy. Are you okay to see Henry?"

"Yes," Reid nodded. "Thank you for talking to me."

"We're here when you need us," Will smiled at him.

JJ called for Morgan, a few moments later Morgan came in with Henry in his arms. Reid looked at Henry's cheek and found his bottom lip quivering again, Morgan brought Henry over. His godson sat on his lap and stared at him.

"We'll be in the kitchen," JJ said before motioning for Morgan and Will to follow her.

Reid raised his hand up and traced his hand over Henry's swollen cheek and the brutal black bruise that covered it.

"I'm sorry, Henry."

"Not your fault," Henry assured his godfather. "He hit me because I was bad."

"No, you weren't bad, he was the bad one, Henry. He had no right to hit you. I know you got scared with him and I want to say that you were such a brave little boy."

"You're brave and I wanted to be like you, I was brave because you're brave too. Thank you for saving me, Uncle Spence."

"It's my job to protect you. I'll always protect you."

Henry hugged his godfather and leaned on his shoulder. "Did the bad man hurt you, Uncle Spence?"

"Yeah, he did," Reid answered honestly. "I'm not going to talk about that now. I just want you to stay safe, Henry, and I promise that no-one will ever hurt you again."

* * *

Morgan sat in the kitchen and let Will and JJ digest what he had just told them.

"He sold him out like a piece of meat," JJ vented angrily.

"Reid said that he woke up and there was blood all over the sheets, I should have pulled that trigger when I had the gun to Martin's head."

"Reid didn't want you to become a heartless killer, none of us could have known that Martin would escape from prison."

"Do you think Spencer will ever be the same?" Will asked them both.

"With time, I think we can get him back to a good place but you can't erase what Martin did to him."

* * *

Reid tried to stay awake as the movie played on the television, Morgan had brought him back to Garcia's and they were watching a movie. Not even Morgan's loud chewing next to him could keep him awake, he closed his eyes and felt himself slide into something soft, he registered a strong comforting arm coming around him. He fell asleep, trying to keep his mind from the worst depths of his memories but failing at the task.

* * *

_A week had passed since he had woken up in a bed of blood, he had pulled it together and gone into work the day after the incident but he knew he had abused the pain medication since that day. Martin had not hurt him for a week but he had barely seen him. He jumped as Martin walked through the apartment door but returned to watching the television. He didn't speak as Martin sat next to him and put an arm around him. Reid cringed as Martin kissed his neck and pushed Martin away._

_"Stay away from me."_

_"You're still not mad about last week are you, you solved a lot of problems. It's not like you really knew what was going on."_

_He got off the couch, turned and pointed his finger at Martin. "You sold me like I was nothing! You let them rape me. I counted the money, you let four of them use me so you could get a bloody car part. I hate you!" he yelled. "I loved you once but I don't love you anymore. You're a monster!"_

_Martin surged off the couch and grabbed Reid around the throat, he dragged him to the bedroom and threw him to the bed. "I'll show you what a monster is, Spencer. I'm going to show you what you're really worth."_

_Reid fought back as Martin grabbed the tie length from one of the robes. He grunted as a punch came across his face and he got rolled on his stomach, he thrashed violently as Martin tied his wrists together. "Get off me!"_

_Martin grabbed his air and yanked it up. "Do you want to know something, Spencer? I've scraped dog crap off my shoes that's been worth more than you. You're mine and you'll always be mine! You do love me and I'll remind of you that."_

_Reid fought as best he could as Martin pulled down his trousers and boxers, he felt Martin's hand below and tried to get away. He heard a belt unbuckle, Martin pressed down on him and began the assault. His scream became muffled as Martin's hand came over his mouth._

_"This is what you love," Martin grunted as he moved brutally. "You're worth this, you live to service me, Spencer. We got brought together so you could make me happy. I love you, Spencer. Now just take it."_

* * *

Morgan kept his arm around Reid, he had put his arm around him after he had felt Reid fall asleep against him. He heard him whimper and looked down. "Reid," he called gently but only found Reid becoming more and more distressed. He hugged him closer so Reid's head was now on his chest.

"Reid, it's Morgan. You're safe, he's dead and he can't hurt you anymore," he began to soothe as he rubbed his hand up and down Reid's arm. "Henry's safe and so are you."

He watched as Reid calmed down and relaxed against his chest, returning to a gentle slumber.

"It's okay, kid. I got you."

**Please review**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey, everyone. Here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I've moved the bad thing that is going to happen to Reid to the next chapter, also we have the beginnings of the slash but I'm not sure if I'm on the right track with it, I'm hoping I'm doing it right. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, words can't describe how much you all mean to me, you're just so supportive and great. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid woke up and found himself asleep on something warm, he felt something leaning against his head and opened his eyes. He looked up and realised that he had fallen asleep against Morgan and his friend had fallen asleep against him. He looked at the arm wrapped around him protectively and couldn't help but feel safe, he leaned back against Morgan's chest and let himself fall back to sleep. He breathed in the smell of Morgan's body wash and felt happy for a reason he could not describe.

* * *

Garcia walked through her apartment door with groceries in her hands, she closed the door and walked into the kitchen to put the bags on the side, she walked back into the living room and noticed her television was still on. As she walked to turn it off, she stopped when she saw Reid and Morgan asleep together on the couch, her heart melted as she took it the sight. Bringing out her phone, she snapped a few pictures before walking over and bringing the blanket further up Reid's body. "You'll be happy again, Spencer. I promise."

* * *

**One week later**

_Reid found himself in bed, he opened his eyes and felt the warm sun on his face. He felt arms around him and snuggled further into them, he didn't feel afraid as soft kisses came down his neck, he leaned against the body behind him and felt a rush come through him. He turned around and smiled at the man. "Good morning," Reid smiled before kissing his lips._

_"Morning, pretty boy," Morgan grinned before holding him close and rolling on top of him, he kissed down Reid's neck and chest. Biting his lip, he let himself enjoy the kisses as they got lower._

* * *

Reid jolted up in his bed feeling flushed and hot, he looked down and found himself excited, he brought the cover up quickly as the door opened. He felt embarrassed as Morgan walked into the room with a breakfast tray. "Morning, pretty boy."

Reid's mind flashed back to his dream but he quickly shook it away, it was just a dream and it didn't mean anything. He knew he was just transferring feelings of Morgan as his protector into feelings that didn't make sense. He kept his erection hidden beneath the cover and took a moment to compose himself. "Hey, Morgan. You didn't need to bring me breakfast."

"You're still recovering, kid. You need plenty of rest and the doctor doesn't want you doing too much till you're a little stronger. Garcia made you pancakes with bacon."

"What's with the milk?" Reid asked.

"I think her protective momma bear side is coming out," he chuckled. "You have to drink the milk before she is willing to let you have any coffee. I guess she wants you to have strong bones. Eat up."

Reid felt relieved as his excitement finally went down, he pulled the breakfast tray over and laughed gently at the pancake face that Garcia had made for him out of bacon. She had made him a bacon smile. He felt like a kid at that moment and couldn't stop thanking Garcia for making him feel this happy and relaxed. He had not felt like he had in the last few days for a while. Picking up some bacon, he bit into it and grinned at the wonderful taste. Morgan sat on the edge of the bed with a cup of coffee in his hand.

Reid had no idea why he had dreamed of waking up with Morgan, he was his best friend and he knew he would always be there. He knew that Morgan would never be there for him in that way and he never expected to ever think of him like that. He shook it off as confusion and returned to eating his breakfast.

"Garcia has pictures of us asleep on the couch, I didn't even hear her come in that day."

"She can be very quiet when she wants to," Reid shrugged as he took another bite of bacon. "Why aren't you guys at work?"

"We all have the next three days off," he answered.

"It's evil that you're sitting there drinking coffee, I have to finish my milk before I get any."

"Give me some bacon and I'll let you have a sip," Morgan offered.

"Deal," Reid said quickly as he handed over a piece of bacon. Morgan passed him the cup and chuckled as Reid took two deep gulps.

"Reid! I can see that coffee cup in your hand," Garcia scolded from down the hall where he could see her.

"Busted," Morgan teased.

* * *

_Reid laid in the bed with a broken lip and a black eye, Martin laid on his chest and had not yet removed himself. He stared out of the window as Martin touched his body, he came back to Martin's attention when a thumb came to the cut on his lip. He winced and felt fresh blood begin to leak from his lip, Martin came down and licked away the blood. "Spencer, you're so sweet."_

_"I wouldn't know," Reid whispered._

_"I love you, Spencer, you know that and I'll never stop showing you how much I love you. We were always meant to come together and have this wonderful life. I put my rules in place because you need structure. You need to stop listening to that team of yours, they're poisoning your mind and they don't want you to ever be happy. I'm making you happy. No-one wanted you before. Now you know what you're worth to me, you'll be worth more if you keep to my rules."_

_"You didn't have to sell me out to those men."_

_Reid could barely keep himself composed after what Martin had done to him throughout the night. Deep down, he felt as worthless as Martin had said he was, he felt dirty and hollow._

_"Your job is to make sure enough money comes into this place," Martin sighed. "I took charge because I knew you didn't have the guts to. If you fail to bring me the money I need, I'll bring more men into this house and this time I'll make sure you're awake for it."_

_Reid felt Martin become excited and ready again. He closed his eyes as Martin chuckled. "Guess I got one more in me."_

_He began crying as Martin started again. "Shhh, Spencer, you're gonna feel so good."_

* * *

Morgan was sitting on the couch with Garcia next to him and Rossi across from him.

"Ahhhh!" Reid's scream came through the apartment. "STOP!"

All three rushed to the bedroom to find Reid thrashing in the bed, Morgan rushed to the bed and gently shook Reid. "Kid, wake up! Come on, wake up!"

"I'm sorry," Reid sobbed in his dreams before thrashing again.

"SPENCER!" Morgan yelled. Reid bolted upright in the bed, Morgan immediately brought his arms around him and held him as he cried and panicked. "It's okay, Reid. He's dead."

"Reid, you're with us," Garcia soothed. "Baby boy, you're safe."

Reid looked up to Rossi and sobbed again. "I lied to you, I'm sorry."

"What do you mean?" Rossi asked as he sat on the bed.

"I came to you asking for money but I lied about what it was for," he shook. "He was going to bring more men to the house because he wanted some money and I got scared. I lied to you and gave the money to him. I just didn't want more men to rape me, I'm so sorry."

Rossi looked at Morgan. As Morgan removed his arms from Reid, Rossi replaced them and held him close. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I lied," Reid coughed.

"I would have paid an army to get you out of that apartment and away from that man," Rossi shook his head. "Don't you dare apologise. You did what you needed to do to stop him from letting others hurt you."

"I just want to forget," Reid whispered.

"I know," Rossi sighed. "You won't ever forget but I promise we'll help you get through this."

**Please review**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Just to answer one review, the word excited was a typo that I didn't change, sorry about that. I'm also nervous when it comes to slash and I'm new to it so I'm still trying to get the hang of the language. I hope this chapter is okay. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're amazing and I want to take you all to a carnival and dance all night with you. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

_**One week later**_

Reid barely wanted to leave the car, the passenger door was open but he closed it again. He didn't understand why the others made him come out with them, he just wanted to stay back in the apartment where it was safe. He knew that the outside world wasn't always dangerous but he didn't feel ready for this and had managed to avoid the last two outings. He'd been dressed in jeans and a jacket that felt suffocating to him. The door opened and Garcia looked up at him and smiled gently. "Reid, you can't stay here forever."

"Why are all insisting that I do this?" he huffed.

"First, don't huff like a child," she said. "You can't stay cooped up in my apartment for the rest of your life. It gives you too much time to think. We need to get you some new things too. Rossi is with us and he's getting you everything today."

"I don't need charity," Reid argued. "I can pay for things myself."

He knew that he couldn't but he didn't care, he didn't want charity from other people. He was going to pay Rossi back the money he had borrowed and given to Martin. Martin had spent a lot of his money and he wasn't about to spend the savings he'd been allowed to keep to pay for his mother's care. His medical leave paid but he had used online banking to put most of that in his mother's care account.

"I've seen your account, Spencer," she sighed. "Rossi wants to help you rebuild your life, we're going to go shopping and you can stay with us the entire time."

"What are you doing in my bank account?"

"You forgot to log out, Spencer. Why did you put most of your sick pay into your savings? There was already plenty in it to pay for your mom's care."

"I recently got stabbed and almost died, if you remember," he said quickly. "I want her taken care of. If I die, she'll be all alone."

"She would never be alone," Garcia assured him. "We would make sure she got taken care of."

Reid didn't want to talk about his mother anymore and got out of the car, he zipped up his jacket and made his way to the mall entrance where Morgan and Rossi waited for him.

"Hey, kid. Nice to see you out of the car" Morgan smiled.

"Let's just get this over with," Reid said as he walked past them.

"Is he okay?" Rossi asked.

"No, he's worried about a million things that he shouldn't worry about," Garcia informed them as she walked past them. "Come on, we need to keep an eye on him."

* * *

Reid watched as Garcia looked at necklaces, he looked at watches and tribal style bracelets with no interest. Martin wore a silver watch he remembered when they were dating, before all the pain and abuse started, that it would catch his hair when Martin stroked his hand through his hair. He walked away and felt miserable. He knew that his team was just being nice to him and trying to make him feel better, he also knew he wasn't acting appropriately. He didn't like being around crowds or stared at. Martin never liked people giving attention to him, anytime that a man even looked at him, Martin would take the car to the side road and remind him that he only needed one man. He hated that side road. It was the place Martin had first forced him into sex and the same place that Martin used to remind Reid who was boss.

"See anything you like?" Rossi asked.

"I'm not really into shopping," Reid shrugged. "I don't need anything anyway."

"Is this about me paying for your things?"

"I don't need things, Rossi. I got used to not being able to do what I wanted or have I wanted. I don't like being here."

"Reid, you've been acting like this for a few days now. What's wrong?"

"I'm sick of everyone demanding answers and telling me how to behave," Reid snapped. "I'm going to the men's room."

"I'll come with you."

"Rossi, I'm not four. I don't need a chaperone to the men's room."

* * *

Reid left the shop quickly and made his way to the nearest men's room, the mall wasn't very busy and that surprised him. He walked into the men's room and walked over to the sink, relieved to find no-one else in there. Gathering water in his hands, he splashed his face and rubbed his eyes. He couldn't sleep properly with the nightmares and always woke up covered in sweat. He didn't hear the door open and lock behind him.

"Hello, beautiful."

Turning around, he looked at the man in front of him. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"You still available for a good time? I'm more than happy to pay more than three hundred dollars this time."

Reid's eyes widened and he backed away from the man. "You're one of the men who raped me."

"I didn't rape you," the man snorted. "I paid for my time."

"I was unconscious!" Reid yelled. "If someone doesn't consent to sex then it is rape. I never consented to become used by you and the others. Move aside and let me go. I'm an FBI agent and my friends are too, they are outside and they'll arrest you. Just walk away."

"You," the man began laughing. "You an FBI agent?! That's so funny."

Reid tried to rush past the man but fell to the floor as the man tripped him. A hand gripped his shirt and pulled him into one of the stalls. "No! Let me go," he struggled. He winced as he got thrown into the cubicle's wall.

"You're nothing but a filthy whore, a really good damn whore," the man smiled before unbuttoning Reid's jeans and reaching inside. Reid squirmed and panicked as another hand pressed over his mouth. "Shhh, little whore. You're going to enjoy this."

Bringing his knee up, he brought it into the man's private area. The man let go of him and fell to his knees. Ripping open the cubicle door, he unlocked the main door and ran straight into Morgan's arms. "Kid, what's wrong? Why did you lock the door?"

"He's in there," he cried. "One of the men who paid three hundred dollars. He tried to hurt me."

"Reid!" Garcia called as she came running over, Rossi at her side.

"Garcia, take care of him and Rossi call the police," Morgan said before running into the bathroom.

Garcia took Reid into a nearby corner, away from the crowd. She felt him shaking in her arms and saw his jeans were now unzipped. "Spencer, did he rape you?"

"No, he just touched me," he shook his head. "I want to go home, take me home."

* * *

Morgan walked into the Garcia's apartment to find Reid asleep in her arms. He walked around and sat down next to them. "How's he doing?"

"He's scared and cried himself to sleep," she whispered. "He doesn't understand why people keep trying to hurt him, he even thinks he's somehow tempting them. Morgan, we should never have made him leave the apartment."

"We couldn't have known this would happen."

"What happened to the man who tried to attack him?"

"In jail," Morgan said. "He admitted what he did when he found out that we are FBI agents."

"Hmmm," Reid moaned in his sleep. "Morgan...love you."

Morgan stared at Reid with confusion. "Did he just say what I think he said?"

"Morgan, love you," Garcia confirmed.

"Why would he say that?"

"You don't think he has feelings for you."

"We're just friends," Morgan shrugged. "He's just dreaming, he might be talking about someone else. He's gay and I'm into women."

"That's not what you told me," Garcia said. "You said you were bisexual. I didn't tell the others because you didn't want me to."

"I tried being with a man once, baby girl, and it didn't work out."

"I think Reid and you would make a wonderful couple," she grinned. "You're so close already. He trusts you, Morgan, more than anyone else on this team. I don't think it would be a bad thing if you two became something more."

"Let's leave this conversation for another time," Morgan held up his hand. "Let's let him rest."

"Don't run away from this, Morgan."

* * *

**The next day**

_Reid brought dinner out and placed it on the table, he sat across from Martin and took the cap off his boyfriend's beer. He placed it down and picked up his fork, he ate his chicken, rice and sauce quickly. Martin finished his meal quickly and downed the last of his beer. He pushed back his chair and took his plate into his kitchen before coming back and taking Reid's plate and fork. "I wasn't finished, Martin."_

_"You're finished."_

_Reid got up from the table, only for a hand to grab his neck and bend him over the table. "Martin," he whined._

_"Shut up, Spencer!"_

_"What did I do wrong?" Reid whimpered._

_"You've hidden money from me. I found it in the flower vase. What are you planning to do with this money?"_

_"Martin, it's just money for a birthday present. I can't go to a birthday party without a present for my godson."_

_"I think I'll keep this money," Martin mocked._

_"No," Reid pleaded. "Martin, please let me have the money."_

_Reid stilled as he found a hand pulling down his trousers and boxers, Martin laid the money in his hand and put it over Reid's mouth._

_"You can earn it, whore's like to earn money."_

_A sharp muffled cry came from Reid as Martin began, he gripped the edge of table and let out a pleading moan. He laid his head to the table and sobbed as Martin tore away at his body and soul._

* * *

Waking up, he found himself covered in sweat and breathing fast. A hand came on his chest and he began to slow down his breathing, he looked up and found Morgan sitting on the side of his bed.

"What are you doing here?" Reid asked.

"Watching over you, just like I always do."

**Please review**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. A major step for Morgan and Reid will happen in the next chapter but they won't rush into anything. Reid's been in this abusive relationship, he won't go and do anything major till he's ready to but I promise not to drag it out. I've wanted to do a certain moment in this chapter for a long time and I loved writing it. We also see just how bad things have been for Reid when it comes to relationships before Martin. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Oh and remember that Harry was Reid's boyfriend before Martin.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews and I'm honored that you read my stories and review them, you're wonderful and I love you all. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Two days later**

Morgan finished the chapter of the book that Reid had given to him, he was enjoying it so far. As he went to put the book down, he heard a loud sob come from Reid's room, he rushed into the room to find Reid gripping the duvet over him and turning in the bed. He climbed on the bed behind Reid and put his arms around him, keeping him from struggling any further. Morgan had done this when he stayed over to help Garcia look after Reid. He hated seeing his best trapped in an endless cycle of nightmares.

"Calm down," he whispered in Reid's ear. "It's Morgan. Reid, he's dead. Martin is dead and he can never hurt you again. The man in the bathroom can't hurt you either. Just sleep, kid."

Reid stopped struggling in his arms and after a few twitches, he felt Reid's body relax and lean against him. He stayed there for ten minutes to make sure that he stayed asleep. He left the bedroom and hoped that Reid stayed asleep for a while. He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. Martin had done damage that he wasn't sure the team could reverse, he was grown man and he had never gotten over what Buford had done to him. Reid had experience eight months of constant abuse where he had experienced degradation and pain that none of them could ever fully understand, not even himself.

He went to Garcia's bedroom and knocked on the door. "Come in," Garcia's voice called.

"Why aren't you asleep?" he asked.

"I heard him," Garcia bit her lip. "Thank you for getting him back to sleep."

"I have an idea," he proposed as he sat on the edge of her bed. "Can you track down Martin's car?"

"Why?"

"Reid needs to get out everything inside of him and I want him to do that. Please, help me find it."

"Your wish is my command."

* * *

**Two days later**

Reid let his mind wander as he slept, he didn't dream of Martin this time, he dreamed about Harry. He dreamt of the moment he lost him.

* * *

_Walking to his apartment, he unlocked the door, walked in and placed his bag on the hook, he heard a noise from the bedroom and looked at his watch. He knew he was back early from the recent BAU case but he knew Harry wasn't supposed to come home till six. He walked to the bedroom and opened the door. He stopped and felt a stabbing pain through his heart at the sight in front of him._

_"Oh shit," Harry cursed from the bed. Reid left the room and stormed into the living room. He watched Harry come out of the bedroom with a robe around him. "Spencer, please, I can explain everything."_

_"What are you going to explain?" Reid snapped as he began to get upset. "You told me about him and you said you didn't have feelings for him anymore. I come home and you're having sex with him."_

_"It just happened," Harry tried to defend. "We met up and started talking, one thing led to another and I brought him back here. Please, I didn't want you to know."_

_"You wanted to have an affair behind my back," Reid cried as he felt his heart beginning to tear. "I believed you when you said you loved me and I said that I loved you too. I guess that meant nothing to you but it meant everything to me. I give you everything and you go and break my heart!"_

_"Spencer, I do love you," Harry said._

_"You don't cheat on the one you love! I'm going to leave and I expect you out of my apartment and out of my life within the next two hours. You want to share someones bed, share that bastard's bed. I don't want to see you ever again!"_

_"Spencer, baby, please don't do this. I do love you, let me try to fix this."_

_"There is nothing to fix, I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who wants to cheat on me with his ex boyfriend. I deserve someone who'll love just me and no-one else. You have two hours to pack your things and get the hell out my life. This was your one chance to prove that you truly loved me and I don't give seconds chances to those who want to play with my heart. Goodbye, Harry. I hope he makes you happy."_

* * *

He opened his eyes and found Morgan shaking him. "What?" he moaned as he pulled up the duvet.

"Kid, I am taking you somewhere and we are going to get some things out. We're going to try put a stop to these nightmares, or at least make them less frequent."

"I don't want to get out of bed," Reid sighed before placing his head against the pillow again.

"Spencer Reid, I'm bigger than you and I will carry you out of this bed and get Garcia to dress you. Trust me, I'll do it."

* * *

Reid followed Morgan into his garage, Garcia had her hands over his eyes but he could tell where they were going. They came to a stop and she removed her hands from over his eyes. He began to shake as he took in the sight of Martin's car. "Why is that here?" he gasped as he stepped away from it.

"Hey, take it easy," Garcia said as she put her arm around him, only for Reid to shrug out of her hug and shake his head.

"I thought you two wanted to help me. Why would you bring me near this thing? You have no idea what he did to me inside this car or how much I suffered so he could keep the damn thing. The first time he raped me was in the back of that car. I want to go."

Morgan walked forward with a metal bar and held it up for Reid. "Take this, kid."

"Why?"

"Reid, this car holds so many bad memories for you. He raped you in the backseat and I know he did it again a few times after that. He sold you out to men so he could improve this car. He loved it more than he would ever love you. He proclaimed to love you but he never truly did. I know you loved him in the beginning, before everything got bad and he broke your heart when he turned against you. I want you to take this metal bar and smash this car. I need you to let out all your anger."

"I can't," Reid shook his head as he stepped into the corner. Morgan recognised the fear in his eyes, Reid was still scared of damaging the car because a part of him still believed punishment was just around the corner.

Garcia put down her bag and grabbed the pole from Morgan. "Okay, I'll go first."

"Garcia, don't!" Reid yelled but Garcia had already brought the pole back, she brought it down and smashed one of the headlights. She stepped back and looked at Reid. "Sweetie, he won't hurt you ever again. Martin is dead, you're free of him and you're going to take this pole and go to town on this car. Trust me, it feels good and I imagine that it will feel a lot better for you. Just let it out."

Reid stepped forward and took the pole from Garcia's hand. It shook slightly in his hands as he stood in front of the car. Morgan stepped back and pulled Garcia back with him.

"You son of a bitch!" Reid yelled before bringing the metal pole up and smashing it down on the windscreen, he continued to bring it down on the car, smashing the bodywork, the headlights and other various parts. He dropped the pole and opened the hood to show the engine.

He pulled out the wires and anything he could get his hands on. "You hurt me," he cried in anger as he pulled at the wires. "You made me beg and cry and bleed to make you happy. I hate you! I hate you!"

He ran over to the work unit and grabbed a few screwdrivers, he knelt and stabbed the first screwdriver into one of the tyres. He repeated the process with the other tyres. He grabbed the pole again and finally smashed the backlights of the car. He walked to the front of the car and dropped to his knees, the pole hitting the floor and glass crunching beneath it.

Morgan stepped forward and came down next to Reid, he brought Reid close to him and held him as he cried. "I got you."

"Why can't I be happy?" Reid cried.

"You'll be happy," Morgan promised in a gentle voice. Deep down, Morgan knew he wanted to be the person that made him happy, in more ways than friendship. "I'll make you happy, kid."

**Please review**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. This is a nice chapter where things get revealed between Reid and Morgan. It's a simple but great chapter I think. Like I said in the last chapter, nothing major will happen in this chapter as Reid is still recovering but he becomes more comfortable with who he is. Enjoy and I hope to hear from you all.  
**

**Also, woo-hoo! We're getting a season ten of Criminal Minds!**

**Thank you so much, you're absolutely wonderful and I just can't say thank you enough for being so great to me. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid looked at Morgan as they sat together in the car, they had both tried to offer to get the food but Garcia had insisted on going in and getting it herself. He felt a growing feeling inside of him, a feeling he kept trying to push down but couldn't help wanting to accept it. He turned away from Morgan and hoped that he would stop feeling like this. Morgan liked women and he knew nothing could ever happen between them, he wouldn't be ready for anything serious for a while. Martin had left lasting marks on his body and on his soul.

"Reid, can I talk to you about something?" Morgan said, breaking the silence in the car.

"Yeah, sure," he nodded as he pulled his sleeves over his hands. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I've tried to put it away in my head but I need to know something. After you got attacked in the men's room, you went home and fell asleep against Garcia, I came in and while Garcia and myself talked, you said something in your sleep. You said Morgan, love you."

Reid felt embarrassment rush through him, he bit his lip and turned away from Morgan. "It was just something I said in my sleep."

"Reid, you're showing all the signs of lying. Explain to me why you said that in your dreams. I'll listen to you."

"I'm not going to make a fool of myself," Reid shook his head. "I know I'm not the man you thought I was and I'm so happy that you've stayed friends with me. I had a friend before I started at the BAU, he found out I was gay and he called me a bunch of names, he didn't speak to me after he found out the truth."

"You thought I would turn away from you because of your sexuality," Morgan said. "I would never do that."

"I was afraid you would," Reid shrugged. "I know I lied to you all but I never wanted to, Morgan. Like I've told you all before, I was ready to tell you the truth and introduce you all to Martin but he talked me out of it. I wish I hadn't listened to him. When I wanted to tell you, I couldn't. I said what I said in my sleep because I do have feelings for you, I won't deny that. You're my best friend, you protect me and I'm happy when I'm around you. I know that nothing can ever come from what I feel and I would rather stay friends with you than lose you over this. Most the time, Martin thought I was cheating on him with you, he didn't like you."

Morgan stared out the window for a moment as he processed everything that Reid had just told him. Before he told Reid what he felt, he wanted an answer to a question. "Reid, what did he do to you when he thought you cheated on him with me?"

"He beat me, forced me to do things I didn't want to do and shut me inside the closet all night. After a while, I hid glow sticks in there so I didn't have to sit in the dark. Looking back, he did so much over eight months and I don't know how I survived it all. He controlled my life, broke my heart and almost murdered me. I panicked and felt nothing but fear when he stabbed me. I felt it go in and when I screamed, he pinned me against the wall and stabbed me two more times."

Morgan watched as Reid began to get upset, he reached over and put his arm around Reid. "Don't get upset, it's okay. You survived that night and you survived Martin, you're strong and I want you to always remember that."

"I just can't get over the fact that I thought I was going to die laying on my bedroom floor by Martin's hand. I came home that night, late from Henry's party and he made me pay for being late. He raped me and it hurt so much. I just want to spend the rest of my life with hope, I don't want to spend the rest of my life making stupid decisions like I did with Martin."

"Would I be a stupid decision?" Morgan asked.

"I don't understand," Reid said.

"Listen to me and don't say anything till I'm finished. I'm not what I seem either. Garcia knows this but no-one else knows, not even my mother and sisters know what I'm about to tell you. I'm bisexual, Reid, and I've been with men before. I was even in a relationship with one but that didn't work out. I like both men and women. You're not ready now but when you are and only if you want to, I'd be more than happy to take you to dinner, on a date. I won't deny that I've had those thoughts about you before because I've had those thoughts. When I found out about Martin and what he had done to you, I couldn't control the anger I felt, I care about you because I do love you in so many ways. It hurt to see you upset and scared because of that bastard."

"Why didn't you ever tell me how you felt?"

"I didn't know you were gay," Morgan smiled gently. "You're scared to tell me about your feelings for me because you thought I was only interested in women and I didn't tell you about my feelings because I thought you were into women too."

Reid couldn't help the small laugh that came from him, he put his hand over his mouth and continued to laugh gently. He brought his hand away. "I'm sorry, I just feel happy."

"Well, being happy is something you should embrace. So would you like to go to dinner on a date? Only when you're ready though."

"Why don't you think I'm ready?"

"Reid, you're getting over a lot of traumatic abuse and Martin has left an impact on your life. I want to give you time to recover and be ready for life again. You know I'm right. You've got to rebuild your life again, I'll be there every step of the way and I'll be there when you're ready for that night out. I need a yes or a no about that night."

"Yes," Reid smiled softly. "I'd like to go out with you on date."

The back door opened and Garcia climbed in. "That line was ridiculous. I got some extra food too. What have you two been talking about?"

"Just planning the future," Morgan told her.

* * *

Morgan slept on the couch, he woke up when he heard a noise from next to him. He let out a small moan and pushed off the blanket over him, he looked to the front door and found it open. He grabbed his gun from his bag and rushed to Reid's room, he looked in and found Reid wasn't in his bed. He checked the bathroom for any sign of him before rushing and checking on Garcia.

"Garcia!" he called.

"What?" she said as she jolted up from her bed. "What'ssss going on?"

"Reid isn't in his bed, the front door is open, I need to go after him. Just stay here," he said.

"I'm coming with you," Garcia shook her head as she quickly pulled on her pink slippers. They both walked out of the apartment and down the stairs, they heard the main entrance door open and rushed down the steps and out of the door.

"Reid!" Garcia called as she watched him walking down the sidewalk. They both rushed after him, Garcia reached him first and took his arm. "Reid, what are you doing?"

"Bridge, I have to get to the bridge," Reid mumbled as he continued to walk.

"Sweetie, what are you talking about?"

Morgan waved his hand in front of Spencer's face. "Garcia, I think he's sleep walking."

"Are you serious?"

Morgan stepped forward and gently turned Reid around so he was now walking back to Garcia's apartment. "Have to get to bridge."

"We're going to the bridge," Morgan spoke gently to Reid. "This is the way, kid."

"Why is he talking about going to a bridge?" Garcia asked.

"I don't know but we can ask him that when he wakes up, baby girl."

**Please review**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. We begin to see Morgan's desires in this chapter, I just hope that I've done it correctly. Yes, the reason behind the bridge sleeping walking episode gets presented in this chapter. I may have a little time jump in the next chapter that will involve our two going on that date. I hope you don't mind a time jump. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're just the best readers in the world, I love you all to bits. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

_Reid stood on the edge of the bridge, the wind blew around him and sent shivers around his body, he looked down and saw his team around an air mat that he knew he could jump down on safely. "Reid, come on, you can do it," Morgan shouted._

_"We're right here, Spence," JJ smiled at him. "Don't be afraid."_

_"Why am I here?" he asked himself._

_"Take one step and you can join us, you don't have to let him rule your life anymore. We're right here and we won't let you get hurt. Take the jump and leave him forever."_

_Reid looked down and trusted his team, he took a deep breath and lifted his foot to jump. As he was about to jump a hand came around his waist and a__nother hand slammed over his mouth, he screamed into the hand as he got dragged off the edge of the bridge and thrown to the ground._

_"You're mine forever!" Martin screamed at him. Reid screamed and cried as Martin began to slap and beat him._

* * *

"No," Reid wheezed as he bolted up in his bed, he clutched his chest and struggled to control his breathing. He threw the covers off himself and made his way to the kitchen, he walked in and found Garcia and Morgan talking.

"Honey, are you okay?" Garcia asked. "You're sweating like crazy."

"Just a bad dream."

"Anything to do with a bridge?" Morgan spoke up.

Reid looked to his friend with confusion. "How did you know that?"

"We had to go after you last night," Garcia said. "You started sleep walking and even made it out of the apartment building, when we caught up with you and managed to turn you back to the apartment building, you kept muttering about going to a bridge. You needed to get a bridge. Reid, why are you dreaming about a bridge?"

"I don't know," he lied.

"Don't lie to us, kid."

"I don't want to tell you because you'll get angry and then hate me. Just leave it alone," he shook his head before making his way over to the sink and grabbing a glass, he turned on the tap and watched the water fill the glass. He put the glass to his lips and relished the cold feeling of the water as it soothed his dry throat, he pressed the glass to his forehead and enjoyed the cold on his skin. He went to leave the leave the kitchen but Morgan stopped him.

"After everything that I told you, you're going to hide things from us. I can't watch you twenty-four seven and this dream is clearly affecting you, something is weighing on your mind and we need to know. I told you the truth and I know that you trust me. Please, just be honest with me."

Reid looked down at the glass in his hand. "I know what the bridge means," he mumbled.

"What does it mean?"

"Rossi already knows this but I didn't want him to tell you all," Reid began. "Not long before Henry's birthday, I almost killed myself. I went to a bridge not far from here and stood on the ledge, I just couldn't take Martin's abuse anymore and I wanted all the pain to end. The only thing that saved me that night was Henry, he called me to invite him to his birthday party. I got off the bridge and promised him that I'd be there for his birthday. I regret my decision to even think about suicide. I spent eight months being raped and abused to protect the people I love and yet I would have hurt my godson by killing myself and leaving him."

Reid dropped the glass and became frightened as Morgan grabbed his arms. "Why would you think about killing yourself?" Morgan raised his voice.

"I'm sorry," Reid quivered. "I'm so sorry."

Garcia grabbed Morgan's arms. "Morgan, let go! You're scaring him. Look at him."

Morgan looked at Reid's face and frightened body language, he let go and watched as Garcia put her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. "It's okay, baby boy," she soothed.

"Reid, I didn't mean to scare you, I'm really sorry," Morgan apologised quickly. "I understand why you wanted it to end but I don't understand why you didn't come and see one of us the moment you thought about killing yourself. We're always here for you and if you would have come to me back then, I would have killed Martin."

"I was afraid and I thought ending it all was the answer. Everyone would have stayed safe if I had killed myself and the pain would have ended for me. I'll never think like that again but please don't get angry with me. I can't face that right now."

Morgan came forward and hugged him tightly. "I'm not angry with you, you're important to me and I just have trouble coming to terms with what Martin did to you and how bad things got for you."

Reid closed his eyes and couldn't help his mind flashing back to Martin.

* * *

_He cried as another lash came across his back. "Two more and then we're done with your punishment."_

_Reid bit into the pillow under his head as his Martin delivered two more lashes to his back with a belt. He shook and took deep breaths as Martin left him on the bed, he had received fifteen lashes with the belt for not being home in time to cook dinner. He stiffened as Martin came back and straddled his hips. Reid was on his stomach and couldn't see what Martin was going to do. A hand came over his mouth and he feared the worst. A horrible muffled scream came from him as Martin poured antiseptic all over his back, he struggled fiercely as the antiseptic crept into his lash wounds._

_"Shut up, you little baby," he snapped as he pinned him down to the bed. "Now, are you going to make sure you're home to cook dinner from now?"_

_He removed his hand from Reid's mouth. "I'll be back in time," he said shakily._

* * *

He snapped out of the memory and hugged Morgan closer. "Don't ever hurt me," he begged Morgan.

"I will never hurt you, I promise."

* * *

**Two weeks later**

Reid gently walked into Morgan's room and stayed by the door. They were all staying at Morgan's house while Garcia's apartment got cleaned up and the burst kitchen pipe repaired. Going to the bed, he slid in under the covers and felt safer laying next to Morgan.

"Reid?" Morgan said sleepily.

"I had a nightmare about Martin, I just feel safer here," Reid whispered. Morgan pulled Reid closer and put an arm around him.

"I got you," he sighed before resting his head back against his pillow.

* * *

Morgan moved as his dreams moved to something that made his blood rush.

_He pushed Reid against the wall and kissed him passionately, he enjoyed the sound of Reid moaning as he removed his belt. Reid was already tugging at his shirt, he came away from the kiss and let Reid take off the t-shirt. In one swift moment, he lifted Reid up and carried him to bedroom. He pressed him down on the bed and kissed his chest while pulling down Reid's trousers and boxers._

_"Do you want me?" Morgan asked as he prepared for the next stage._

_"I want you," Reid said before biting his lip and pulling Morgan into a kiss._

Morgan pulled Reid closer in his sleepy state and enjoyed to touch of Reid's skin against his own.

* * *

Garcia yawned as she made her way up the stairs with a coffee in each of her hands. She went to Reid's room first but didn't find him there, she walked to Morgan's room and felt her heart melt at the sight that greeted her as she walked in. Morgan had his arms around Reid protectively while Reid had snuggled against Morgan's chest.

"My two wonderful men," she smiled before going to the bedside table and putting down the two cups of coffee.

"I smell coffee," Reid sighed as he opened his eyes lazily.

"God, never have I known someone to pick up a coffee scent so quickly."

**Please review**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I got a little carried away with this chapter and I've gone ahead with what I've done as there might be repercussions after what happens. I've also tried to explain using Reid's thoughts. You'll see what I mean. There is a time jump but I think it was for the best. I hope you all like this chapter and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're absolutely brilliant and just perfect in my eyes. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Five months later**

Reid looked at himself in the mirror, he stroked his hair and then his shirt, he checked the buttons on his vest and took a deep breath. Today was his first day back at work since being stabbed by Martin and left for dead, he had passed the evaluation tests and he'd been approved for active duty. He may have passed the tests but he felt shaky inside. He didn't think it would take so long to get over what Martin did to him but it had. Morgan and the others had stayed by his side the entire time and had never stopped supporting him. Martin had left scars over his body that he wished he could just wipe away, like water washing away dirt. He had kept his hair short and planned to keep it short for the rest of his life. As he walked forward, he took one last look at himself in the mirror and then put the black cover back over the mirror.

Reid only had two mirrors in his whole apartment, a small one in the bathroom and one in his bedroom, both stayed covered unless he needed to check his clothing. He heard the horn from outside and grabbed his bag. He left the apartment but made sure to lock all three of the locks he had installed. As he walked down the stairs, he thought about the last five months. He had moved into a new apartment in a safe neighbourhood, he didn't miss his old apartment or the memories that he knew lingered there. The landlord of the building had been unable to find anyone willing to take the apartment, word of what had happened travelled fast to anyone who went there and no-one wanted an apartment stained with phantom blood. Garcia had helped him when he got scared but Morgan always helped him more. He was very excited to go on their date which they had put off till now.

Morgan didn't want to rush into anything because he didn't want Reid to suffer setbacks in his recovery. They were going to dinner in three days time and he knew Morgan didn't expect him to do anything after. He had made Martin wait two months before sleeping with him and only four months after their first time together, he'd been subjected to hell in the back of that car. Hotch had helped him regain his gun qualification while Rossi and Blake had come by at least twice a week each to talk to him about lectures, profiling and all different types of things. Blake had also taught him to sign during his time off work, it hadn't been easy but he had learned it quickly. JJ had him over for dinner every week and then after dinner, she would take him into the living room and talk with him. Sometimes, he couldn't help breaking down into tears, sometimes just the sight of Henry set him off.

He told JJ about the times when he would lie in bed after Martin had beaten and assaulted him, he would think about Henry and why he was enduring all the pain for him. He imagined Henry having a family of his own one day and he imagined JJ sitting with Will and their grandchildren. She had cried sometimes with him. Sliding on his sunglasses, he walked out of the apartment building and got into Morgan's car.

"Hey, kid. Ready for your first day?" Morgan smiled.

"I think so," he nodded.

"Look, Reid, no-one expects you to come back and act like you used to. You've come a long way since Martin."

"It's taken five months and I still think about what he did," he said in a stoic voice. "Martin took up over a year of my life and then he tried to murder me because I broke his stupid rules. It's been five months and I'm still this."

"I'm calling Hotch, you're not ready to come back."

"Don't you dare, I passed all the tests and I want to come back. I can't stand being in the apartment anymore. Please, I need to move on with my life and that means going to work and in three days, going on a date with you. We've waited long enough. Just take me to work and I promise that if anything affects me too much, I'll come and find you."

"You better," Morgan said before turning the engine back on.

* * *

Reid walked into the BAU bullpen and found that it look different, he had avoided coming to the BAU for fear of people knowing what he had gone through. "It looks different."

"They did some redecorating," Morgan explained. "I know it looks different but it's still the BAU."

"Welcome back, Reid!" Reid turned around to find himself pulled into a strong hug by Garcia.

"Hey, Garcia."

"You wore the outfit I picked out," she grinned. "It's so good to see you here. You can come to me anytime today if you need help. I just want you to have a good first day back."

"I'm hoping that I have a good first day back," he sighed.

"You will, pretty boy," Morgan said as he led him down the stairs to his desk. "We haven't moved any of your stuff. One of the other agents tried to touch your things but Garcia practically ripped his head off."

"I'm late for a meeting," Garcia said suddenly, she leaned up and kissed Reid's cheek. "Remember, I'm here for you and so is everyone else."

They both watched her walk off with her pink pen and pink binder in hand.

"I'm going to get settled, come to me if you need anything."

"I will," Reid nodded.

* * *

**Three days later**

Reid stared down at his dinner, he picked up his fork and began to dig in to the chinese food in front of him. Morgan took a sip of his soda and began to eat his own food, they had kept silent for most of the date and he knew it was because this wasn't just dinner, this was a date and things could happen after a date. Part of him wanted Morgan to pick him up, kiss him and do everything that he had dreamed of. Another part of him was afraid, no-one had touched him like that since Martin and the man in front of him wasn't just a man, it was Morgan sitting in front of him. His best friend, a friend he had developed feelings for.

"Why are you drinking soda?" Reid broke the silence.

"I'm not going to drink beer around you," Morgan said. "You know why."

"You're not him."

"I know but I want to make you feel comfortable."

"Did you ever think that you'd be on a date with me the first time you saw me?" Reid asked.

"No, but I didn't know about your sexuality back then and you didn't know about my sexuality. My family doesn't know about my bisexual status."

"Why are you bisexual?"

"I can enjoy myself with both men and women, I'll admit that I've had a few one night stands with men and I was in a relationship with a man called Zachary for a while but it didn't work out, I won't go into details. I've dated women, had one night stands with women and had one or two good relationships."

"You've got more experience than me," Reid said before shifting a little.

"I'm sorry, I let my mouth run sometimes. You have to remember that I'm older than you. Apart from you know who, what other experiences have you had?"

"An experience in college which wasn't that good, more hurtful than anything. I was in a relationship with Harry, like I told you when I was in hospital and then I met Martin. That's it. Harry was a wonderful man but he couldn't choose between his ex-boyfriend and me. He broke my heart because I thought he really cared about me. I walked in on his ex and him and told him he had two hours to get out. He was gone when I got back along with all his stuff. He left me a note with just I'm sorry written on it. I'm sorry, you don't need to hear this."

"You can't ever be afraid to be honest with me, pretty boy," Morgan said before reaching out his hand and holding Reid's hand.

"I like it when you call me that," Reid smiled gently.

* * *

Reid sat on the couch with Morgan in his apartment, he just liked being close to his new home and Morgan didn't mind coming back. He noticed Morgan staring at the covered mirror that was visible due to him leaving his bedroom door open. He quickly got off the couch and closed the door. "Reid, why is the mirror covered?"

"No reason," Reid lied as he sat back down.

"Pretty boy, don't lie to me."

Reid closed his eyes and but his lip. "I don't like looking at myself in the mirror. I only look in it when I have to. He's left me with so many scars and I can't stand them. I'm ugly now."

"No, you're not ugly. You're beautiful and I wish you would accept that."

Reid went to talk but found Morgan's lips pressing against his own in a kiss, he was still for a moment before he remembered who had started kissing him, he kissed Morgan back and felt a rush of heat go through his blood. Morgan moved from his mouth and began to kiss down his neck. He leaned back as Morgan came forward and pressed him down on the couch. Every part of him wanted Morgan, he froze when Morgan gently tugged down his shirt to show a cigarette burn on his shoulder. Morgan leaned down and kissed the scar. Without realising it, his hands were on Morgan's belt and already undoing it. Morgan came away and grabbed his hands.

"Pretty boy, I want you to take a moment and think about this, I could go on kissing you all night if that is what you want. I'll go as far as you want me to and no further. How far do you want to go?"

Reid thought about it for a moment, he had not felt this excited or happy in a long time. For a moment, being given the choice confused him but he soon regained his thoughts. He wanted Morgan, every part of him. He had spent too many nights screaming from nightmares about Martin. Now, he was being given the choice and he knew what he wanted. He wanted to feel something new.

"I want you," he smiled before pulling away the belt. "You gave me the choice and I choose to do this. Don't stop, please."

Morgan came down lifted Reid up, he pressed Reid against the wall and felt his pretty boy wrap his legs around him. He carried him to the bedroom and kicked the door close.

**Please review**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm sorry for this being a short chapter but today, my cold is truly kicking my butt, I feel like my mind is full of fog and I'm having trouble remembering a lot today because of this cold. I must admit that I won't do explicit scenes in this story for two reasons, I feel like I'm bordering my M rating and I can't write sex for hell. I've tried in my personal writing and it usually ends up with someone having a third leg at the end. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're so awesome and I just want to hug you and never let go. Thanks!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid tried to get back his breath but found himself struggling as he came down from his climax, something he had not experienced in a very long time, the last time he had gone through such ecstasy was a few days before Martin had turned into a monster. Morgan had already reached his climax but continued to lavish him with attention. He couldn't believe how long it had lasted, he had never been with someone who was able to go on for so long. He let out a small gasp as Morgan bit into his neck gently. Through all his joy, a small part of him still felt like he had rushed into this, that part had almost stopped the session with Morgan. For a small amount of time, he had panicked when Morgan had got a little rough, he remembered tapping Morgan's shoulder and explaining his panic. Things had got easier after that, but things had still felt wonderful.

Reid watched as Morgan laid beside him, both of them sweating and smiling. Both stayed silent for a moment as they took in what had just happened.

"I'm sorry about getting a little rough," Morgan said before looking to Reid. "I know I scared you."

"It's okay. I haven't had a time like that in a very long time, it was great. Better than great."

"How long has it been since you've reached your climax?" Morgan said.

"A few days before Martin turned from Mr Hyde to Dr Jekyll," Reid shrugged, he found it easier to talk about Martin if he related him to some piece of literature. "We didn't do anything wrong, did we?"

"What do you mean, pretty boy?"

"We had our first date last night and we jumped right into bed together, I've never done that and after everything that has happened to me, I feel a little confused. I wanted this to happen, don't get me wrong, but I don't know if I lost control of myself."

Morgan sat up and looked down at him. "Do you think that you were ready for this?"

"I'm trying to figure out what I did to deserve what I just went through. Every moment was amazing and you didn't expect anything from me. I was ready for tonight but I've never had that moment where my heart took control over my brain. You kissed me and I was yours, you gave me a choice but my mind had focused on finally having something good happen that I didn't want you to stop."

"Spencer, I don't expect anything from you when we have sex because I want to give you everything. You spent over eight months at the hands of that monster, forced to give him whatever he wanted and forced into things you didn't want to do. I like giving you all the attention. You didn't rush into this and you know that too. We've planned this for months and I've been there for you when you've had nightmares. I remember you coming into my room on the nights you got really scared and sliding under the covers."

"What are we?" Reid asked.

"You're my boyfriend, if that's what you want to be," Morgan said. "This isn't some passing relationship. Ever since you got hurt by Martin, I've wanted to help you and make you happy."

"I'd like you to be my boyfriend," Reid grinned. "Can we wait for the team to find out? We didn't even tell them about our date, Derek."

"We're on first names then."

"You called me Spencer," he chuckled. "It seems rude not to go by our first names after what we just did."

"And after what we're about to do," Morgan smirked before pulling him close and kissing him.

* * *

Reid woke up the next morning and felt a hand tracing his back, fingers touched the long scars that Martin's belt had left during all his punishment sessions. He closed his eyes and felt his mind go back to painful times.

* * *

_"No, Martin," he cried as Martin continued to force himself on him. "It hurts, stop it."_

_He opened his mouth as it became more painful, he let out a choked sob and couldn't do anything but let Martin finish. Martin collapsed on top of him, pinning him down to the floor with a thud. "Such a good little slut."_

_"I'm not a slut," Reid sobbed. _

* * *

"Derek, am I a slut?" Reid whispered.

"No, you're a wonderful genius," Morgan said gently before wrapping his arms around him. "Never think like that."

* * *

**Two weeks later**

Reid sat at the bar with Morgan and laughed, they were both drinking soda and non alcoholic drinks. He loved that Morgan didn't drink but felt guilty as he knew Morgan did like to have a beer now and then.

"I have to tell Garcia."

"Why?" Reid questioned.

"She's wondering where I'm spending all my time and I think she's already knows. She was there when I admitted I had feelings and she knows about my sexuality. I hate lying to her and the others but I'm not ready for the others to know."

"They're profilers, I wouldn't be surprised if they already knew," Reid chuckled. "They might not, it's not like you openly grab my ass in the middle of the bullpen."

"Don't tempt me, pretty boy. I'm telling my baby girl when she gets here. I've never kept secrets from her."

* * *

Ten minutes later, they saw Garcia walk into the bar, they called and beckoned her to the booth they had managed to grab after a couple had left it. She came over and gave them each a kiss on the cheek. "How are my boys?"

"We're fine," Reid smiled at her. "Derek has something to tell you."

"I already know you two are together," she giggled as she took off her jacket. "I'm not an idiot."

"How do you know, baby girl?"

"I came round to Reid's house to drop off some food the other day and I know what a man looks like when he's got laid. You had a grin on your face and skip in your step. Plus, you're not being very subtle in the office sometimes. By the way, I know the back room is getting redecorated but the camera still works."

"Oh, what did you see?" Reid flushed red with embarrassment.

"Not much, I decided to turn it off before you two got into it," she said. "I deleted the footage so you won't get in trouble."

"You're not mad that we kept it from you," Morgan said.

"I'm not mad, I'm so happy that you two decided to get together. Derek Morgan, you treat my baby boy good."

Morgan reached out and held Reid's hand. "Don't worry, I am and I always will."

**Please review**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all, I hope you enjoy this chapter. So, some things are going to happen and I've been a right evil cow with the ending of this chapter. I know I'm updating about an hour so late than I usually do but my cold is making my head a bit foggy and I have to keep thinking for the word I want. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're so beautiful and kind to me. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review  
**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid made sure that everything looked good for when Morgan came to his apartment, he had enjoyed his day off but had not enjoyed having to go to the therapist that Rossi had arranged for him to see. He didn't like talking about everything that had happened to him, Martin was part of his past and not part of his present or future. He poured Morgan a non-alcoholic beer and knew he'd be arriving soon. He began cutting the peppers to add to the pan. Cooking for Morgan wasn't a hardship, it was something wonderful and something he liked doing. Martin had always kept to a strict diet and had always wanted his dinner ready at a certain time.

* * *

_"NO! Martin, don't, I'm begging you," he screeched in fear as Martin began to push his hand to the pan of boiling water._

_"Why shouldn't I put your hand in there?" Martin spat. "I come home and you've just got started on dinner. I expect it ready and on the table!"_

_"I'm sorry," Reid pleaded before an idea popped into his head. "If you burn my hand, it'll look suspicious and people will ask questions."_

_"Hiding behind your team again," Martin huffed. He brought Reid's hand away from the boiling water and threw him to the ground. He quickly delivered two kicks into Reid's ribs before straddling him and grabbing his throat. "We'll discuss this in bed, for now, I want my dinner."_

* * *

Reid looked down as he came out of his daze, his hand now had a cut to the palm and it was dripping blood. He realised he had held the knife during his flashback, he rushed to the sink and ran the cut under water, he winced at how deep the cut was and knew he needed stitches.

"Hey, pretty boy, I'm here," Morgan called from the hall, he had a key to the apartment. Reid turned off the tap and grabbed a kitchen towel. He looked up to see Morgan walking into the kitchen. "Shit, Spencer, are you okay?"

"It's just a cut," he shrugged as Morgan came over and moved the kitchen towel.

"That's more than just a cut. We need to go to the ER and get you stitches, how did this happen?"

Reid yanked his hand away. "I don't want to go to the ER! I'm cooking us dinner and we're going to sit and enjoy it. I just wanted to surprise you and I cooked your favourite food. I had to go and ruin it. I had a flashback and I must have moved my grip up the knife without realising. I ruin everything."

Morgan put his arms around Reid and held him as he began to get upset. "You didn't ruin anything. We'll pick something up on the way back from the ER and we'll watch a movie. That needs stitches, we can't have a nice time together if you're bleeding all over the place. Come on, don't get upset."

* * *

Reid and Morgan walked into the ER and took the clipboard from the nurse. They sat down but got a surprise at who was also sitting in the waiting area. " Hey, Rossi" Morgan greeted as they sat down. They both noticed Rossi holding a white pad of gauze to his forehead.

"What are you two doing here?"

"I had a flashback," Reid said truthfully. "I sliced my hand open without realising it."

"Spencer, are you allergic to any medications?" Morgan asked as he filled out the paperwork.

"Not that I know of," he answered before turning to Rossi. "What brings you to the ER?"

"One of my garden steps came loose as I was walking down them and after a little tumble, my head met the corner of the brick wall. It needs a few stitches. How bad was the flashback, Reid?"

"Nothing I want to talk about."

Morgan finished filling out the paperwork and quickly handed it back to the nurse at the desk, he came back and checked on Reid's hand. "It's still bleeding," he shook his head.

"I thought you were going home tonight, Morgan," Rossi said.

"Oh, screw it," Morgan sighed. "Do you know already or do we need to tell you?"

"We all know," Rossi chuckled before smiling. "You're not very good at hiding it. You also forgot to keep up the use of surnames at work. You've called each other Reid and Morgan since I came to the BAU. Since Reid came back to work, you've called each other Spencer and Derek. I'm happy for you both."

"Thanks," Reid smirked. "I ruined my surprise dinner though."

A young nurse came into the waiting area. "David Rossi?"

"That's me," he held his hand up before getting out of his seat and going after the nurse.

* * *

Reid sat in the BAU room with Morgan and the entire team around him, Rossi was now sporting a small white dressing pad on his forehead. Taking a deep breath, he decided he wanted to get it over and done with, they all knew already. "Morgan and myself are in a relationship," he said quickly.

"We know," Blake smirked.

"Is this going to cause issues in the field or at work?" Hotch asked. "I'm happy for you both but I don't need to tell you that being in a relationship with fellow members of the FBI isn't exactly something the directors or the bureau like. Your private life is yours, but I need to know if you're going to be okay working together."

"Before this, we were already like brothers," Morgan explained. "Now, we have chosen to move into a relationship. We'll behave at work and we won't take any risks. I would have risked my life before all this for him anyway."

"That's all I needed to hear," Hotch said.

"You both made a cute couple," JJ mused.

"What do you mean?" Reid questioned as he picked up his coffee to take a gulp.

"You go well together," Garcia jumped in. "Morgan is the coco pops and you're the milk."

Reid choked on his coffee as he began to laugh, he coughed and wheeled back his chair to cough a few times. The others had begun to laugh as well. He felt his boyfriend patting his back and enjoyed being able to smile.

* * *

**A week later**

He felt the same rush he had craved for the last few hours course through him as Morgan kissed him, strong hands were now running through his hair and he let out a small moan as Morgan put his hand down his trousers.

"Oh," Reid gasped before Morgan began moving his hand. "Derek, I-I!"

"You what?" Morgan grinned as he brought his hand out and pushed Reid to the bed, prepared him and then began. Reid bit into Morgan's shoulder as he struggled to control his happiness and pleasure.

* * *

**Three weeks later**

Morgan whistled as he made his way to Reid's apartment, he spent his weekends with Reid now and had to admit that he hadn't felt like this for a while. He was happy and loved that everything was back to normal. He parked his car and made his way to the apartment. Opening the apartment door, he took a step in. He cried out in pain as something struck him in the back of his head. He hit the floor and moaned.

"No!" he heard Reid scream. He turned his head to see the man he loved pinned to the floor by two strangers.

"Spencer," he kicked out his leg and caught the man who had hit him in the back of his head, he tried to get to Reid but slammed into the floor as he felt a powerful voltage run through his body. He could barely think after the current ceased, he knew someone had shot him with a taser. He didn't even realise he was getting restrained, all he was trying to focus on was Reid.

"No, please, no," Reid sobbed. "I don't want to."

"You killed Martin, he was a good friend of ours and he gave us you cheap the last time we saw you, this time we get to have you for free."

"No," Morgan grunted as he tried to get out of duct tape around his wrists and legs. "Don't you dare hurt him!"

"Derek, please don't let them hurt me," Reid cried. Morgan got angrier when one of them put a gloved hand over his boyfriend's mouth.

"Don't worry, we'll give your boyfriend a good time," one of the men smirked at Morgan.

Reid struggled and screamed into the hand as they began to drag him to the bedroom.

**Please review**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I know I was very evil with my cliffhanger on the last chapter but I couldn't resist. I'm so glad you like the Coco pops and milk line, I was shaky on putting that in the chapter but it just sounded like something Garcia would say. Things aren't going to play out how you think. I'm feeling better and my cold is almost gone which I'm happy about it. I want it fully gone soon because I want to see a movie on Wednesday. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you for all the great reviews, you're absolutely amazing and I just want to give you all a Reid type of teddy bear. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid struggled and tried to hit out at the two men dragging him to the bedroom, he managed to get one last look at Morgan, he felt a fresh wave of fear hit him when he saw the tape around Morgan's wrists, legs and mouth. The bedroom door slammed shut and he got thrown to the bed. The hand over his mouth disappeared for a moment. He tasted his own tears on his lips. A cry escaped from his lips as two strong hands grabbed his arms and another two hands grabbed his legs. The brunette man sat on his hips and brought out a knife.

"No, no, no," Reid pleaded before he heard a muffled thud come from outside. He didn't understand why this was happening to him, he'd been so happy since going into a relationship with Morgan, everything had gone perfectly but his past had caught up with him again. The knife came to his cheek and trailed to his lips, the metal touching his skin but never piercing it.

"You're a very bad boy for killing Martin and now you've got a lesson to learn. You're nothing but a whore, Spencer. I'm going to enjoy this and we're going to make this a very fun night for you."

"Please don't do this to me," he cried. "I'm begging you don't do this. I'm a federal agent and you'll go to jail for the rest of your life if you do this. Just leave us alone and I promise that I won't tell anyone. I'm not a whore."

The knife trailed down to his vest, the man slipped it beneath a button and cut upwards, the button fell to the bed.

"HELP! PLEASE, HELP ME!" Reid screamed at the top of his voice, a cloth got stuffed his mouth and a rag tied around his face, he whimpered when he realised no-one could hear his cry for help, his neighbour was on vacation and the one below him usually never came back till late.

The knife moved away from his vest and came to his trousers, he thrashed as he tried to prevent what he knew was going to happen, he clenched his eyes shut and couldn't stop the fear exploding in his heart.

"Let's get him in place," the man smiled at the other blonde man. He tried to get free but failed to stop them turning him to his stomach and tying each arm to a bed post, he screamed as they began to slide down his trousers and as a hand trailed up to his boxers.

* * *

Hotch yawned as he made his way up to Reid's apartment, he knew that Beth wouldn't like him being late for dinner but he needed to give Reid paperwork to fill out. It had to go back to HR on Monday and he had completely forgotten to give it to him. He was about to knock on the door when he heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh.

"So you're Spencer's little boyfriend?" a voice mocked from inside.

Hotch silently put down his briefcase and brought out his weapon, bringing his foot up, he used all his strength to kick down the door. He didn't bother waiting to pull the trigger after the second it took him to assess the situation. The man fell to the floor as the bullet entered his thigh, Hotch heard a ruckus coming from the bedroom and ran to the door, he kicked it and fell pure anger at what was in front of him. He pulled the trigger and shot each man in the shoulder. He rushed to kitchen and grabbed a knife which he used to cut Morgan out of the tape. When Morgan was free, he handed him his back up weapon and watched him run to the bedroom.

* * *

It didn't take long for Morgan to restrain the two men, he resisted the urge to beat them to death, he needed to get to Reid. He put the gun in waistband and untied Reid from the ropes around his wrists.

"I got ya, you're safe now," he whispered repeatedly but he saw nothing but a distance look in his boyfriend's eyes. He grabbed a blanket and covered Reid's legs and buttocks over, he couldn't see any blood and was sure that Hotch had saved them before anything could happen to Reid. Once Reid was free, he brought him into a bridal carry and carried him into the living room. He sat down on the couch with him and held him. "Spencer, I really need you to talk to me."

"Police is on the way along with an ambulance," Hotch said as he finished restraining the third man with some tape. "Are the other two secure?"

"Handcuffed and not going anywhere," Morgan replied, he ignored the pain in his face and ribs, the man who had held him had liked using him as a punch bag. "Hotch, he isn't answering me."

Hotch knelt in front of Reid.

"Reid, it's Hotch, you're safe now. We need you tell us you're okay."

"I'm okay," Reid whispered before leaning into Morgan and shaking. "T-They didn't do anything."

* * *

Morgan embraced Garcia the moment she got to the hospital, she was a welcome sight and he knew she would help with Reid. She came away and cradled his face in her hands. "Are you okay?"

"Bruises and cuts are nothing. I'm not okay though, Spencer won't talk, he said one sentence at the apartment and then he just shut down again. I'm his boyfriend and I don't know how to help him. The doctor confirmed that the men who attacked us didn't violate him. He's in shock too."

"Let's go see him," she said before taking his hand and going to Reid's room. She walked in and found Reid huddled on the bed, his eyes staring blankly at the television.

"Hey, sweetie," she greeted gently. "It's Garcia. I came to see you, I brought cookies and some books for you too. Can you talk to me? I know you're still in shock but Morgan is getting sick with worry, he just wants you to talk to him."

"I tried to fight but they were just too strong, they had a bag and things inside, they wanted to use things on me."

"What things?" Garcia asked.

"Things he doesn't want to ever see again," Morgan sighed. "Things Martin used to use on him."

"Sit up, Reid."

She guided him up and sat him against a wall of soft pillows, she covered him up and wrapped another blanket around his shoulders. "Talk to us, baby boy."

Reid's bottom lip wobbled and his breathing hitched. "I was so scared, they had Derek tied up and then I heard them hitting him. They called me a whore and kept touching me. I don't understand why it happened. They didn't listen when I begged them to just leave, I promised them that I wouldn't go to the police."

"They're in jail now and they can't hurt you again."

"I need Derek," he shook his head as he began to get upset. Morgan sat on the edge of the bed and brought him into a protective hug.

"I'm here, I'm right here. I so sorry I didn't protect you."

"I don't understand how they got in, Derek."

"They told the caretaker of your building that they were decorators, they had fake ID and the caretaker let them in. Hotch is probably ripping his head off as we speak. Spencer, what happened in the apartment before I got there?"

"I was out shopping for a few things, I needed to restock my bathroom cabinet because you keep using too much shower gel and too many of my hygiene products. I brought some books too and then made my way back home. I walked in and I had barely put my bags down when a hand came over my mouth. They threw me to ground and put a hand around my throat. This happened not too long before you arrived. They taunted me and touched me, one said that I had a pretty mouth and he was going to show me how to use it."

"I'm going to make them pay," Morgan vented angrily.

"No!" Reid shouted before grabbing Morgan's arm. "You're supposed to protect me."

"I'm going to protect you."

"Can we go just go back to your house? I don't want to go back the apartment, I just can't."

"Okay, we'll go back to my house, you'll be safe there."

* * *

Morgan held Reid close as they sat on the couch at his own home, Reid had fallen asleep on his chest and he knew he should go to sleep too, he couldn't though, every time he closed his eyes his mind took him back to the apartment. He remembered the fear on Reid's face and the horrible scream for help when the bedroom door had gotten shut. He would repay Hotch every day for the rest of his life for saving them. He kissed Reid's head and held him closer.

"I love you, Spencer, and I don't ever want to lose you."

**Please review**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Yes, Hotch to the rescue in the last chapter, I wasn't going to do that to Reid even though I am pretty evil. You don't have to come and hunt me down. For the guest who asked about the movie I want to see, I want to see Captain America but I've now got a rash which thankfully is just an allergic reaction, I thought it was something else. It's my mother's fault, she wanted me to take the vitamins. Anyway, enjoy and I hope to hear from you all.  
**

**Thank you all so much for all the reviews, you're magnificent and brilliant. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes my own**

_Morgan looked around the apartment, he didn't remember coming here and had no idea why he had come here. He heard noises coming from the bedroom, he walked to the bedroom and opened the door, bars blocked his way into the bedroom. He put his hands around the bars when he took in what was happening on the bed. "NO! Spencer, I'm coming! Get off of him!"_

_On the bed, Reid laid crying with his arms strapped down and Martin behind him and assaulting him._

_"Derek," Reid sobbed frantically._

_"He's mine, he'll always be mine," Martin moaned before making a face and finishing. He stepped away from Reid and zipped up his pants. "Always so good."_

_"I'll kill you!" Morgan screamed as he tried to yank away the bars._

_"Boys," Martin called. Three men stepped into the room and began to surround his lover. "He's all yours, you've paid the price."_

_"Derek, why aren't you helping me? You're supposed to protect me. You failed," Spencer cried as the men began to do things to him. "Derek!"_

* * *

Morgan gasped gently as he woke up from his nightmare, he looked to the other side of the bed and felt relief when he saw Reid slumbering gently. He moved forward and wrapped his arms around Reid, he kissed the back of his hair before deciding to get out of bed. He got dressed and left his house. Ever since that day, that horrible day where he'd been helpless to save the man he loved from being dragged into a bedroom and almost raped, they had lived in his house. Ever since that day he'd had nothing but nightmares too.

* * *

Reid woke up as a chill came over him and pulled the cover back over himself, he reached out his arm but didn't find Morgan next to him. He sat up and stroked his hand through his hair. "Morgan!" he shouted but he didn't receive any word back and could hear any noise.

Sliding out of bed, he walked around the house but didn't find any sign on his boyfriend. "Where are you?"

* * *

Rossi weaved his way through the multitudes of people at the bar, he found Morgan sitting at the bar with a drink in his hand, when Morgan went to take another drink, Rossi stopped him. "I think you've had enough. What are you doing here?"

"Trying to get rid of the guilt," Morgan shrugged, he was a little wobbly and Rossi knew he was very drunk.

"What guilt?"

"My job is to protect him," he slurred. "He's innocent but I see the way he shakes when we're out of the house and in a crowd. I had to watch them drag him into the bedroom and he was so damn scared. They closed that door and I had no idea what they were doing to him. I'm not strong enough for him, he deserves someone who can look after him."

"He wants you, Morgan. He doesn't want anyone else to protect him, he just wants you. Listen, you had no idea that those men had broken into the house and you got shot with a taser. I know how strong that voltage is and I'm surprised you were even able to focus on what was happening. He didn't get raped, he's safe and he's getting over it. What he doesn't need is you getting drunk. Martin was a drunk and he hurt Reid. You're going to stay with me tonight."

"Whyyy?" Morgan slurred again before wobbling in his seat.

"Do you want to scare, Reid?" Rossi asked. Morgan shook his head and rubbed his face. "That's what I thought. Just come back with me and we'll get you sobered up by the morning."

* * *

**Morning**

Reid was cooking breakfast when Morgan walked into the house, he finished the eggs and bacon and put them with the other pieces of the breakfast. He pushed a plate in front of Morgan when he took a seat before grabbing himself a plate of food. He grabbed two mugs of coffee and gave one to Morgan. They remained silent for the first few minutes before Reid broke the silence. "Why would you get drunk?"

"I had a nightmare and it affected more than I thought. I went to the bar to try numb some pain."

"You never drink because of me and I've never asked you not to drink, I love that you respect me enough not to drink around me but I get upset when you go and get drunk. At least you called Rossi to pick you up."

"I had a few drinks, Spencer, it's not like I went out and got out of my mind drunk," Morgan snapped. "I was trying to numb this feeling of failure that I feel. You got dragged into that room and I thought I was going to lose you forever."

"How do you think I feel?" Reid argued. "The last thing I saw before they closed that door was you, they had you restrained with duct tape and you couldn't even call out to me. I thought they were going to kill you. I got trapped with two men who wanted nothing more than to use me as a whore. All I could think about was you, I didn't want to see you dead. If you had died and if I had survived, I don't know what I would have done. I love you, Derek."

Morgan looked up at those words, they had never said those three words to each other. He had but Reid was sleeping at the time.

He reached out and took Reid's hand into his own. "I love you too, Spencer, I don't want to lose you. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

Getting out of his seat, Morgan walked over to Reid and kissed him. He felt Reid's lips responding and smiled inside. He came away and stroked his hands through Reid's hair. "I won't drink again, I promise."

* * *

**One month later**

Reid felt more nervous than ever as they approached Morgan's childhood home, they were visiting Morgan's mother, Fran, and he was also visiting Désirée and Sarah. Morgan had called them a few weeks before and explained about his sexuality and found himself delighted when they had all accepted him for who he was. His mother had insisted that they come down for a few days. Morgan pulled up outside the house and smiled. "You ready?"

"Derek, the last time I met them, they thought I was weird."

"No, they didn't thing you were weird, they found you a bit quirky though. I've told them all about you."

"All?" Reid questioned.

"Not everything, you know I wouldn't do that to you, they know facts about you and I tell them stories from work."

"Are they going to accept me?"

"Yes, stop panicking and let's go. My mom is making dinner and she makes the best gravy in the world."

Reid got out of the car and walked with Morgan to the front of the door, he straightened himself out and jumped a little when the door opened.

"There's my wonderful boy," Fran giggled happily before throwing her arms around her son. "Oh, you don't visit enough."

"Sorry, mom," he smiled before looking to Reid. "This is Spencer."

"Oh, I know who he is," she smirked before throwing her arms around Reid and hugging him. "You're the one that makes my Derek happy."

"It's wonderful to see you again, Mrs Morgan."

"Fran, call me Fran. Come in, dinner will be ready soon and I've made Derek's favourite gravy, I have a secret ingredient that makes it taste wonderful."

"A secret ingredient that I'm not allowed to know," Morgan chuckled.

"Hey, big brother," Désirée grinned at Morgan as they came into the kitchen. She hugged Morgan before coming over and hugging him. "Nice to see you again, Spencer. I hope you're hungry."

"He hasn't eaten today," Morgan told them.

"Well, we can't have that stomach grumbling," Sarah said as she stirred the gravy. "By the time this weekend is over, Spencer, you'll need to use a new notch in your belt."

**Please review**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey, everyone. Here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Yes, Reid is being introduced to the Morgan family and the visit won't go without a few hitches as you'll see. Diana will come into this but William Reid won't come into this story, just for those who wanted to know. I'm enjoying writing this as it's something new and I kinda like writing it. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're absolutely awesome and wonderful. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid licked his lips and couldn't believe how great the gravy was, he felt full but he somehow made room for more of Fran's food. Morgan was laughing next to him and joking with his sisters. He didn't feel out of place but he felt like he was intruding on Morgan's time with his family. He finished the last of his dinner and savoured the taste. He picked up his soda and took a sip to wash everything down. "You're an amazing cook, Mrs Morgan, I mean, Fran."

"Thank you," she smiled at him. "I don't often get to cook this much, all my children have left the mother's nest. It was a delight to cook so much."

"We all fly back here for the gravy," Morgan smirked before turning to Reid. "I think you're well on the way to adding another notch to your belt."

"I hope you don't mind me asking," Fran began. "How serious are you both?"

"Momma," Morgan said.

"I just want to know. You hid your sexuality from us and I'm in a new situation. I'm happy as long as Spencer makes you happy."

Reid felt a little uncomfortable but he couldn't blame Fran for wanting to ask these questions, Morgan was her son and he knew that she would do anything for her son. She was only looking out for his wellbeing.

"We love each other, mom, and Spencer makes me very happy. He's amazing to me and supports me too. I brought him here because you wanted to meet him and I wanted him to see you again."

"Derek, Spencer is family now, we know that," Désirée smiled. "We just wanted to know how serious things are, you're over protective of us and we're overprotective of you. It's only natural."

Reid smiled at the thought of Morgan having three more protectors in the world. He decided to give them all some time alone. "May I go lay down?" he asked. "I'm a little tired from the journey."

"You okay?" Morgan asked.

"I'm fine, Derek, I just need to lay down."

* * *

**A few hours later**

Reid laid in bed, he tossed his head and clenched the bed sheet, his breathing got quicker as his mind rushed into another horrifying nightmare, a nightmare that joined with a memory.

* * *

_Martin pressed him down on the bed, he shook but didn't fight back as hands made their way down his body and as lips kissed down his neck. A week had passed since their anniversary night and he still had not recovered fully. He knew that the punch to the head Martin had given to him that night had given him a strong concussion and he had feared slipping into a coma that night. His cuts were still healing and the bruises he had covered up when going to work._

_"Oh, Spencer, you're so perfect. I love every part of you," Martin moaned before grabbing Reid's face and making him face him. "Say you love me."_

_"I love you," Reid said quietly._

_"Then why aren't you enjoying this," he whispered in Reid's ear. In one swift moment, Martin grabbed his hair and dragged him off the bed. Reid cried out as a slap came across his face, he stayed curled up as punch after punch rained down on his body. "You need to put effort in, Spencer. I'm sick of having to remind you. Get up here."_

_He cried and tried to scramble for the bathroom, he panicked and cried even harder as a hand grabbed his ankle and pulled him to the bed. Martin grabbed him and threw him down on the bed. He opened his mouth but no scream came out as Martin began to hurt him. He reached out his hand but Martin grabbed it and pinned it to the bed. "Shhh, Spencer. You know you have nowhere to go."_

* * *

Morgan sat with mother and sisters watching old home movies, he jumped when he heard a small scream come from the guest bedroom upstairs. "Oh shit. All of you stay here."

He rushed up the stairs and found Reid writhing and crying on the bed. He brought Spencer up and shook him. "Spencer, baby, wake up. I need you to wake up."

Reid jolted awake and tried to get out of Morgan's grasp. Morgan held him and rocked him gently. "Hey, it's just me. Spencer, calm down, it was just a dream."

Reid turned around and let Morgan hug him tightly. "Make them stop," Reid sobbed. "I just want the nightmares to stop."

Morgan held Reid close and rested his chin on Reid's head as he rocked him. There was nothing he could do but let Reid ride out the tears and fear that he knew was coursing through his boyfriend. He spotted his mother and sisters outside the room, he didn't want them to see this but it was too late to stop them from seeing it. Reid shuddered. "Martin's dead, isn't he? Tell me because I keep thinking this is all a dream sometimes."

"He's dead," Morgan assured him gently. "You're safe and he can never hurt you again."

* * *

Reid woke up to find it was three am in the morning, he had stayed in bed since his nightmare but now he couldn't lay down again. He pushed away the cover and put on some socks. He made his way out of the bedroom and made his way down the stairs. He grabbed himself a cup of water and sat down at the table. He hated having the nightmares and had not had one that severe in a long time. He jumped as the light suddenly came on, as he jumped he accidentally tipped his water on the table. He looked up to see Fran in front of him. He grabbed a kitchen towel and began to clean up the water.

"I'm sorry, I just came for some water, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Spencer, it's okay," Fran said gently before taking the towel from his hand and finishing the clean up. "Please sit, I'd like to talk to you."

Reid obliged her and sat down at the table. She sat next to him and sighed gently. "Spencer, what happened earlier?"

"I just had a nightmare."

"That wasn't an ordinary nightmare and I saw how scared you got when you woke up. You're family now and if there is anything I can do to help, I want to do it. Someone hurt you, didn't they?"

Reid looked into her eyes and took a shaky breath. He knew that she would find out. "Someone did hurt me. His name was Martin and I was in a relationship with him for over a year. He was the love of my life for six month but he turned on me and subjected me to horrific things."

"My husband was a cop," Fran said. "You can be honest with me. Getting it off your chest helps."

"I didn't want to do the things he wanted but I never had a choice."

"How did it end?"

"Has Derek really never told you about what happened?" Reid asked.

"No, he only tells me what he wants me to know."

"It, um, it ended with three stab wounds," Reid's voice wobbled, he wiped away a tear coming down his cheek. "Martin stabbed me and left me die, Derek found me because he came to check on me. He rushed me to the hospital and if he had never checked on me, I'd be dead. I won't say anything else but Martin's dead now. I'm happy with Derek because he's helped me get past everything that has happened to me. I love him and he loves me too. I'm sorry about what happened with the nightmare."

"Don't apologise," she soothed gently. "You don't have anything to apologise for. I'm sorry that you went through all that."

"Derek always feels guilty and I hate that," Reid shook his head. "I didn't let him see what was happening and he thinks that it's all his fault for not seeing the abuse. I wanted to keep him safe, I wanted to keep everyone safe so I kept silent."

"Oh, come here, Spencer."

Fran came forward and hugged him. "I know my son will treat you well but I know that there is a dark cloud hanging over you both. Do you want me to talk to him about what he's feeling?"

"Please, if you could," Spencer smiled. "He needs to stop feeling this way."

**Please review**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey, everyone. Here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry for not updating but I had some computer trouble and I've tried to salvage my laptop, I've managed to and only lost a little data, had most of it backed up. I hope you all enjoy this as it has some sweet moments, I loved writing the conversation between Morgan and his mother. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, I really appreciate them and you're all so brilliant. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan smiled as he watched Reid outside with Désirée and Sarah, he liked seeing Reid smiling and laughing, he wondered what they were talking about and decided that he would find out later. He finished the dishes and wiped his hands.

"Derek, I want to have a talk with you," Fran said from the table, her hands wrapped around a warm cup of coffee.

He walked over to the table and sat down. "What do you want to talk about, mom?"

"Spencer told me everything that happened with Martin."

"Why would he tell you that?" he asked in shock. Reid usually kept things to himself.

"I knew something was wrong and no-one has a nightmare that frightening unless something happened to them in the past. We talked and he wanted me to talk to you. He thinks you still feel guilt for not seeing what was happening to him. Do you feel that guilt?"

"How can I not feel it?" Morgan sighed. "He was getting raped, beaten and emotionally ripped apart and I didn't see it. I'm supposed to see these things because I care about him, even before we became what we are now, he was my best friend and it was my job to protect him. I didn't do that and he almost paid the greatest price. I remember walking into his apartment and slipping in his blood. When I saw him on the floor, pale and covered in blood, I felt everything inside me break. I had him in my arms when I rushed him out of the apartment and I prayed he stayed alive. He did but then we found out what he'd been through. Yes, I feel guilt and that guilt will never go away."

"It upsets him that you feel guilt about what happened. I know you love him but you have to realise that he didn't want you to know what was going on back then. You never let me see what Buford was doing to you."

"Mom, I never told you because I wanted to protect you," Morgan said quietly.

"I know but still, I wish that you had. Now, I want you to keep what you just said in your mind. You never told me about Buford because you wanted to protect me, Spencer never told you about Martin or the abuse because he wanted to protect you. By what he told me and by what Martin did to him, I have no doubt that Martin would have tried to kill you if you had learned about them."

"He got hurt though, momma," Morgan said, his eyes starting to tear up. He could be a big macho man in front of everyone but he was back to being a little boy when he was around his mother. "He got hurt and now he screams when the nightmares take him over. I hold him and I just never want to let him go, I don't want to let him go because I'm afraid to lose him like I almost did the night he got stabbed."

Fran rose up from her chair and held her son, he leaned his head against her and felt like a child again. He loved his mother and she always had a way of bringing out the part of himself that he kept locked away, a part that not many people had access to.

"He loves you, Derek," she smiled gently at him. "He loves you and you've brought him back from a dark place. I know what happened to him will never leave you both but you can't start a new life feeling this way. You both need to think about what you want in the future and how you can build it together."

"I love you, mom."

"I love you too, Derek. You'll always be my little boy."

"You'll always be the best mom in the world."

* * *

Reid sat in the bed and watched as Morgan got dressed for bed, he missed Morgan touching him like he used to. They hadn't been intimate since the attack at his apartment. He wanted to feel that rush again, that rush of heat he always got when Morgan touched him and kissed him. Morgan slipped in next to him and he put down his book. He leaned over and tried to kiss him but failed as Morgan dodged the kiss. "Pretty boy, what are you doing?"

"I want you to kiss me and I want us to go back to how things were before the attack at the apartment. Please, I just need this."

"Spencer, I'm not sure you're ready."

"I'm ready, Derek," he said in frustration. "Please, I hate this. I hate that I'm letting them win."

Morgan looked into his eyes and the next thing he knew was strong lips on his, Reid felt Morgan climb on top of him and kiss him passionately, he relished the rush of joy and excitement that came through him. Morgan went lower and lower as he kissed down his body.

"Oh, yes," Reid gasped.

* * *

Morgan stroked his hand through Reid's short hair, he loved doing it. "You seem unable to stop grinning," he chuckled.

"Can you blame me?" Reid sighed. "That was amazing."

"My mom had a word with me. Spencer, I still have feelings of guilt about not seeing what Martin did to you. I'll always have a small part of myself that feels that way. I don't want that to stop us from having a future together."

"What do you think the future holds for us?"

"Hopefully a lot of good," Morgan smiled.

* * *

Reid stirred the eggs, flour, butter and sugar all together, Fran was baking some things and had brought him in to help. It was just Fran and him in the kitchen, Morgan and his sisters had gone out to see some old friends.

"Thank you for talking to him," Reid said to Fran. "I just want you to know that I'll do everything I can to make him happy."

"I have no doubt about that. He'll make you happy too."

"He already does," he grinned. "Am I doing this right?"

She came over and looked in the bowl. "Stir a bit faster, the fun bit comes when we break out the butter cream icing."

* * *

**A few weeks later**

Reid rushed through the hospital, almost knocking over a tray of supplies. He found the team in the waiting room. "Where is he?"

"Spencer, he's still in surgery." JJ answered.

"How did this happen?" he demanded.

"We didn't know there was a second unsub, he surprised Morgan and shot him outside the police department. Morgan sustained two gunshots to the chest," Hotch explained.

"He's gonna be fine," Reid told himself before looking at them all. "Please, tell me that he'll be fine."

Blake stepped forward and hugged him close. "He'll be fine, you're not going to lose him. None of us are."

"I can't lose him," Reid shook his head. "I can't lose him after everything."

* * *

**A few hours later**

Reid sat with the others, holding Garcia's hand. They had both flown out together. A doctor walked in and smiled kindly at them all. "Is there a Spencer Reid?"

"That's me," he asked in confusion, Hotch was Morgan's medical contact. "I'm not his medical contact though."

"According to our records, you're Mr Morgan's medical contact."

"Is he okay?" he asked.

"It was close but we expect him to make a full recovery."

The whole team let out a breath of relief.

"Can we see him?"

"Maybe just one for now," the doctor suggested. "He's awake but very tired and very weak. He needs to rest."

"Reid, tell him that we're all here for him," Rossi smiled. "It's you he'll want to see."

Reid gave Rossi a thankful look before going after the doctor to Morgan's room. The doctor left him at the door and asked him to get a nurse if Morgan needed one. Walking into the room, he almost lost control as he saw Morgan in bed, hooked up to machines.

"Hey, pretty boy," Morgan quietly wheezed.

"I thought I was going to lose you," Reid began to cry gently as he felt every wall break down. "You promised never to leave me."

"Come here, Spencer."

Reid walked to the bed and sat on the edge, Morgan lifted up his arm and brought Reid into a weak hug. "I'm never going to leave you, pretty boy."

"You never break promises so I know you won't leave me."

He kissed Morgan and then breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm not going anywhere," Morgan grinned weakly. "We've still got a future to build."

**Please review**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I'm so happy you all liked the last chapter and of course I left you all on a cliffhanger, what's my name? The cliffhanger queen! I'm a bit hyper so I may sound a bit weird. I'm so sad because I found out one of my favourite shows isn't being shown in the UK now. Why must I wait to see supernatural season 9? Luckily, they show my criminal minds. I couldn't survive without a weekly dose of Reid. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're wonderful and very supportive. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan woke up from his drowsy sleep, when he woke up and saw Garcia above him, he smiled. "Hey, baby girl."

"Hey, my chocolate Adonis," she smiled back. "Although you're not my chocolate Adonis anymore, you're his."

She motioned her to the other side of his bed, he turned his head to see Reid asleep in a chair with a blanket covering him. He saw the dark circles under his boyfriend's eyes and the messy look of his hair and clothes. "He hasn't left, has he?"

"No, he's been here the entire time. You've been asleep for about a day. He's afraid to leave because he doesn't want to lose you, you've given us all a fright. Reid couldn't comprehend that he might not see you again, he really does love you."

"I know," Morgan sighed. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold Reid's hand but he decided not to, he didn't want to wake him up. His entire chest was full of dull pain, he knew he would feel worse if he wasn't on a morphine drip. "I never meant to worry you all. I thought we had wrapped the case up but there was another unsub. I walked out of the police station and I barely saw him before he shot me."

"He's in custody now," Garcia told him. "God, I don't know what any of us would do if we lost you."

"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I have a future to build with Spencer and you all still need me to protect you all. I'm the protector of this team. Spencer came in here and it hurt to hear him cry."

"He's been crying because he loves you and you're the best thing to happen to him in a very long time. You protect him, you don't hurt him and he knows that he can always depend on you. He wouldn't survive if he lost you, not after everything that has happened to him."

They both looked up as Reid changed position in the chair, he stayed asleep and settled down.

"Garcia, I want to give him the best life I can but I'm afraid of letting him down. He'll never forget what Martin did to him and I still see that haunted look in his eyes."

"He'll never fully get over what that bastard did to him but he's learning to focus on the future and not the past. You won't let him down, you've made him promises and I know that you keep all your promises."

* * *

**A few hours later**

Reid woke up to find Morgan awake and looking at him, he pushed away the blanket and rubbed at his sleepy eyes. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Like hell but I can't expect a speedy recovery after what happened," Morgan said. "Sorry for sleeping too much."

"You need to rest to recover quickly, don't apologize. I remember that you were sitting by my bed some time ago telling me to get some rest."

"Have you eaten since I came in here?" Morgan questioned.

"Um, no, I haven't felt hungry," Reid admitted.

"Pretty boy, you need to eat or you'll get sick too. You look like hell."

"I don't want to go anywhere, I want to stay with you."

"I'm not going to disappear if you go and get some food, and when I say food, I mean food. Coffee is not a food. I worry about you and that's not doing me any good. Just go and get something to eat, I'll be here when you get back."

"That's easy for you to say," Reid smiled sadly. "When Hotch called me and told me what had happened, I just broke apart. I didn't know if you were still alive on the plane journey here and all that was going through my head was that this was my fault because I was at a therapy meeting instead of out on the case with you all. If I'd been with you, I could have stopped him shooting you. I've spent the last day thinking about everything you've given me. You've made me realize that the scars that Martin gave to me are nothing to be ashamed of, you made me feel normal and worth something again. You're the first man to ever truly show me love. My first time with someone was horrible, Harry cheated on me and was distant before that and Martin abused, raped and almost murdered me. You're so different. You cover me with a blanket when I'm cold, you make me soup when I'm ill and you even watch Star Trek with me. Derek, I love you and I never want to lose you. I'll get something to eat but don't ask me not to worry about you while I'm gone."

Reid left his seat and left the room. Morgan closed his eyes, intending to think but found himself falling asleep, exhaustion taking over him.

* * *

Sitting in the cafeteria, he dutifully ate his food knowing that Morgan would moan at him if he didn't eat anything. He pulled out his phone and wondered if anyone had called Fran or Derek's sisters. He dialed her number and waited for an answer.

"Hello, Spencer."

"Hello, Fran. I'm calling about Derek. Something happened and I'm not sure if anyone called you yet."

"What happened?" she asked, concern lacing her voice.

"He's fine and he's alive. He's in the hospital in Florida. He, um, he got shot in the chest twice by a suspect. He's okay though and he's going to make a full recovery."

"Oh my god," Fran gasped down the phone. "What hospital is he in? Who's with him? I'm coming as soon as I can."

* * *

**Four hours later**

Reid looked up as a knock came at the door, he walked over and opened the door. Fran came in with Désirée and Sarah, they all gave him a small hug before walking over to Morgan's bedside where he was still sleeping.

"He'll make a full recovery," he said gently. "I haven't left him once."

"Oh, my precious little boy," Fran fretted before kissing Morgan's forehead. "Don't leave me like your father did."

Morgan let out a small moan before waking up, he blinked a few times before looking up to see his mother and sisters. "Mom?"

"It's me," she smiled. "I came as soon as Spencer called me."

"You didn't need to come all this way, I'm okay."

"You're not okay," his mother snapped before beginning to get upset. "You got shot two times, you're not okay. I lost your father to a shooting and I refuse to lose you that way. You're my son and it's my job to worry about you."

Fran leaned down and wrapped her arms around her son, Morgan brought up an arm and held her close. "I won't leave you like that."

* * *

Désirée and Sarah walked over to Spencer, they took his hand and led him out of the room.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Suddenly, he found both hugging him tightly.

"Thank you for looking after him," Désirée said as she continued to hug him.

"Thanks, Spencer," Sarah said before both of them came away. "Thank you for calling us too. I know this isn't easy for you either."

"I thought I was going to lose him," Reid admitted before running a hand through his hair.

"One thing you should now, Spencer, is that this family is strong and we don't disappear easily," Désirée smiled. "We're stronger than we look, all the Morgan family are. That includes you."

"I'm not a Morgan though."

Sarah smiled at him. "Of course you are, you're family now."

**Please review**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all, I hope you enjoy this chapter. ****I just want to say a big sorry for not updating for the last few days and I have to make this announcement. I can no longer keep up with my daily updates. I know that a lot of you love that about my stories and it is also one of my trademarks too. I just can't do it anymore, I've done it for nearly two years, perhaps more and I'm at a stage in my life where I'm dealing with a lot of things and I'm having some exhaustion issues too. I'll be updating every two to three days, I won't leave it longer than that because I know a lot of you look forward to my updates. I think that in the long run this will improve my writing and give you an even better story. From now on, my two current fanfics will get updated together every two to three days while Dreamwalker is on Hiatus for the next week or so. I really hope you all understand but if I was to try keep up a daily update pace, I'm going to burn out. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.**

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, you're brilliant and awesome. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**A week and a half later**

"Easy, Derek," Reid guided as he opened the door and dumped all the bags on the couch, he rushed back to him and helped guide him to the other couch.

"Pretty boy, I don't need help walking," Morgan smiled.

"You baby me when I'm hurt so I'm going to baby you," Reid smirked at him. Morgan sat down and rubbed his chest a little, he didn't realise how much energy it had taken him to get from the car to the house. The pain he could deal with, his pretty boy's driving was another matter. He swore that he had almost suffered a heart attack during the journey home. He didn't say anything though.

Reid's watch beeped and he rushed into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He handed it to Morgan and then brought out a few bottles of medication. He popped a few of them out and handed them over. "Take your meds."

"You're not my mother," Morgan grinned before putting the pills in mouth and gulping down some water.

"No, I'm not your mother, I'm your boyfriend and I promised your mom that I'd take care of you. I have to go back to work tomorrow but I'm going to make sure everything is available to you without having to leave that couch. The doctor said you need lots of rest and not to do anything too strenuous for a while."

"Would you like to come over here and give me a second opinion?" Morgan grinned.

"When you're better, I'll play doctor all you want."

"You're getting better at the dirty talk," Morgan chuckled gently.

"You're the first one to really let me do any dirty talking. Martin just shouted abuse at me and Harry was very different."

"Tell me about Harry, I'm curious."

"Why do you want me to talk about an ex?"

"Like I said, I'm curious."

"Harry was someone I thought loved me but he was still in love with his ex boyfriend, that much was obvious, especially when I want in to fight them screwing around with each other. He wasn't always loving to me but he made me happy. Near the end, he became distant and he just wanted sex really. I think that during our times together near the end, he wasn't thinking about me, he was thinking about his ex. He never forced me into anything."

"I thought you said he was wonderful once."

"He was when we first met, he was so full of life and he liked spending time together on the couch, we would watch game shows and of course, I'd always know most of the answers, except anything to do with music or film. I thought when he became distant that it was my fault but I realised that it wasn't my fault. There was only one time he really ever scared and hurt me."

"When?" Morgan demanded.

"He had watched a movie and he thought it would be a surprise and kinky if he surprised me in the apartment. I think he got the idea from his ex-boyfriend too. I came into the apartment, exhausted from work and then all I knew was getting pinned to the bed. He stopped when I panicked but he thought it was funny. I forgave him like an idiot. I honestly thought someone had broken in and was going to rape me that night."

"Asshole," Morgan said angrily. "I'd have beaten him to a pulp."

"It took a while to forgive him but I did. I've haven't had any good relationships till I went into one with you."

"I'll never hurt you, Spencer."

"I know you'll never hurt me, I dread the fate of anyone who does try to hurt me. I know you'll protect me."

* * *

Reid made his way to the mat, most of his mind was back with Morgan but he got forced into a combat training today. He couldn't help but think of Morgan, two days had passed since he had come out of the hospital and he had suffered a horrible coughing fit, it had caused him a lot of pain. Reid was so focused on thinking about Morgan, he didn't hear the training fight start. Agent Thurman grabbed his arm and threw him to the ground.

"Come on, Agent Reid, get your head in the game!"

Reid got back to his feet and shook off the feeling, he hated combat but had taken some more lessons from Morgan during his time away from the BAU. He dodged two attacks and managed to grab Thurman's arm. He tried to sweep his leg but found himself flipped to his back again.

"Guess it's true about you," Thurman laughed.

"What?" Reid asked as he took up his defensive position.

"Guess you're the submissive one when it comes to guys, there are some rumors running around here. Agent Reid is a homo."

Reid felt a flare of anger. "That's none of your business. You should show more respect and understanding. I don't like you using the term homo either."

"I got a couple more terms for people like you."

"You're homophobic and if you say another word, I'll report it."

"Tell me, how does it feel to be an abomination?"

"Find a new sparring partner, I'm not going to deal with a close minded person like you. Besides, you're probably using all those words to cover up you own thoughts."

Reid failed to react as he didn't have time, a fist came into his nose, he fell back to the floor and tasted blood on his lips. He moaned but looked back up at Thurman. "I'm not like you, I think what you do is disgusting and I hope someone cures you one day."

Reid ignored his nose and charged towards Thurman, he knocked the man to the ground and managed to throw two punches into his face. Thurman nailed him in the ribs with his fist and then pinned him to the floor. Some fellow agents walked into the training area and ripped them apart. Reid stared at Thurman with pure anger.

* * *

"What happened?" Cruz demanded.

"Thurman threw the first punch," Reid said. "He seems to have a problem with my sexuality. He used abusive and offensive terms against me and broke my nose. I put it all in the report, sir."

"I've gone through the report and I want this settled before Agent Hotchner and Agent Rossi get back. Thurman, you've had warnings about your behaviour before. We don't discriminate here at the FBI and Agent Reid is a senior agent and has served with the bureau longer than you. You're suspended for a week without pay and we'll be discussing your behaviour when you get back. Thurman, you're dismissed."

Reid watched as Thurman stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Reid looked to Cruz. "Thank you, sir."

"I'm sorry about what happened. No-one has a problem with your sexuality, at least they shouldn't, we're taught to respect those we serve with. You don't flaunt your relationships and you're behaviour here is exemplary. How's the nose?"

Reid touched his bandaged and broken nose. "I've had worse, sir."

"Take tomorrow off, I'll take on your case load tomorrow. I insist and will not accept you arguing with me."

Reid wasn't planning on arguing, it was a day he could spend with Morgan. "I'll take it off, sir."

"Go home and try get down the swelling around your nose. You can go now. Give me regards to, Agent Morgan."

"I will when I see him."

"I'm not blind, Spencer," Cruz smiled. Reid went to speak but Cruz lifted his hand to silence him. "Keep it out of work and make sure it doesn't interfere with your work. I have no issues with this."

"Thank you, sir," Reid smiled before leaving the room.

He walked out of the room and down the stairs. "Reid, what the hell?" Hotch said as he walked over.

"It's a long story."

* * *

Stepping through the door, he braced himself for Morgan's reaction to his nose. He walked in to see Morgan on the couch with a blanket over him and juice drinks next to him.

"Spencer!" Morgan gasped. "What the hell happened?"

"Thurman punched me in the nose and broke it, he kept calling me names and saying offensive homophobic slurs. We got into a fight but some of the other agents broke it up. He's been suspended for a week. Cruz gave me tomorrow off and he knows about us. He's okay with us as long as we keep it out of work."

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch," Morgan growled.

"Derek, please don't," he sighed. "Enough violence. All I want to do now is sit with you on the couch and watch bad TV."

He slipped off his bag, shoes and jacket and snuggled up with Morgan. "I don't know about you, Derek, but I can't wait for us to play doctor and patient."

**Please review**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thank you for being so understanding about things in my life and I'll promise to keep updating every few days. You're seriously the most wonderful and understanding readers in the world and I will always think that. Some of you wanted to see more of Thurman and you will. He's a very short-tempered man and not very stable. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're wonderful and absolutely the best. I will take care of myself, don't worry about that. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

_**A few weeks late****r**_

Reid and Morgan walked through the door together, Morgan had spent the last few days at work after being off on medical leave. No sooner had Reid put down his bag, he felt two arms come around him and turn him around, he laughed as Morgan threw him over his shoulder and carried him to the bedroom. He was laid down on the bed and Morgan began kissing him. "We haven't done this in ages," Morgan said.

"I know," Reid smiled as he came from the kiss for a second. He sat up and began to unbutton his shirt, Morgan pressed him down on the bed and took off his boxers and trousers, he let out a small moan as Morgan nibbled on his ear.

* * *

Reid began to feel pain as Morgan continued, he thought they had prepared enough but he knew they had rushed into everything. Morgan began to get faster and he felt the pain get worse. "Derek," he said quickly.

"That's my name, pretty boy."

"No, no, no. Derek, stop, you're hurting me."

Morgan immediately stopped and got off from him, he felt tears down his face that he couldn't help. "Oh god, kid. I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I thought we prepared enough."

"So did I. I'm okay, I just need a minute, can you get me some water?"

Morgan wrapped one of the bed sheets around himself and rushed to the kitchen. Reid rushed into the bathroom and locked the door, he felt blood and checked himself. Martin had dealt more pain to him than this and he had suffered worse bleeding. He knew whatever damage there was, it wasn't very bad. A knock came at the door. "Spencer, I'm so sorry, I have your water. I know you're bleeding. Please let me in, I want to help you."

Reid leaned up and unlocked the door, Morgan walked in and knelt in front of him. "I'm so sorry, Spencer."

Placing his hand on Morgan's face, he leaned forward and kissed him. "It's okay, I think we both got a little excited and we both thought that we had prepared enough. I've had worse, much worse than this so I'd like for you to relax. Don't start getting all upset on me, Derek."

"I never want to hurt you and I just did, kid."

"I'm not a kid, Derek."

"I know but I love that nickname."

"I need a bath, that helps when this sort of thing happens, help run me a bath and then you can sit in there with me, I need someone to wash my hair," he grinned at him. "It's okay, Derek. These things happen."

"I'm making you breakfast for the next month to make it up to you."

"You could make it just wearing an apron," Reid laughed.

* * *

_**One week later**_

Reid enjoyed his breakfast of eggs, bacon, french toast and sausages that Morgan had cooked for him. A knock came at the door, he walked over and opened the door. "Hey, Garcia."

"I smell bacon, is Morgan cooking?"

"He is," he nodded. "He's got plenty of things to cook, you want some breakfast before we go out."

"I will never turn down some breakfast cooked by Morgan, all I've had is coffee because I woke up late."

He let Garcia into the house but stepped in front of her when he realised what Morgan was wearing. "Morgan, are you decent?"

"Already ran to the bedroom," Morgan shouted back.

Reid stepped out of the way and continued into the kitchen with Garcia at his side. He pulled out a seat for Garcia and poured her some juice. "There you go."

"I may come here more often for breakfast," she said. Morgan put a plate of food in front of her before kissing her cheek.

"Morning, baby girl."

"Were you not decent before I came in?" she smirked at him.

"I can't say, baby girl."

Garcia pouted before picking up her french toast and taking a bite. "Mmmm...you're a wonderful cook," she sighed happily.

"Don't I know it," Reid said. "I've gained over a stone since living with Morgan."

"I can see it on you. It's weight you needed to gain, Reid. You were too skinny and you need some meat on your bones."

"More for me to love," Morgan grinned before kissing Reid's cheek.

"You two are so cute," Garcia cooed before taking another bite of her french toast. "How are things going? We haven't had much time to talk because of all the work this week. I want a progress report."

"We're doing great," Reid answered. "Fran wants us down Chicago again. We're just enjoying our time together and we're happy together. I can say that this is most wonderful time of my life."

"I second that," Morgan smiled.

"You two are perfect for each other, the brains and the brawn."

* * *

_**A few days later**_

Reid poured himself a cup of coffee before making his way back to his desk, he was about to sit down when he found a note on his desk, he looked at the note to find it asking him to attend a meeting. He drank a few deep gulps of his coffee before making his way to the room for a meeting. He made his way to the room and walked in to find only Agent Thurman sat at the table. "So you got my note, Agent Reid?"

"Thurman, what is the meaning of this?"

"You have cost me everything," he snapped before getting up from his chair and storming over. "I lost out on a promotion because of you and now other agents think I'm an ignorant fool."

"You lost it yourself by saying what you said, you can't be a proper agent unless you accept everything that comes with being a person. We see the darkest evil out there but we also see the best of people. I had to report you."

"You're going to tell everyone that it was your fault."

"It wasn't my fault, you threw the first punch and you used offensive terms against me. You lost that promotion because of your own ignorance. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work."

Reid turned around to leave but felt a blinding pain hit the back of his head, he fell to the floor and felt darkness engulf him.

* * *

Thurman panicked when he realised what he had done, he put his gun back in his holster and leaned over Reid's body, he saw blood covering his hair from where he had hit him with butt of his gun. He opened the door and looked outside to find no-one around. He didn't expect there to be a lot of people, it was near the end of the day. He quickly left the room and made his way back to his desk, he had to leave, he had gone too far but he hadn't been able to help it. It wasn't his fault, it was that disgusting man's fault. He grabbed his keys and made for his car. He'd figure out what to do when he was out of the building.

* * *

Reid woke up but felt the horrible urge to vomit, he reached to the back of his head and found it wet, he brought his hand back around and through his blurred vision, saw blood covering it. He managed to get himself back to his feet but felt the world sway, he leaned against the wall for support as a wave of pain came over him. He opened the door and made his way out, leaning against the wall for support, his vision was still blurry.

* * *

Garcia came out of the elevator, she delivered the fixed laptop to the agent who had given to her before walking out again. She walked around the corner to see Reid barely standing with blood on his hand. "Reid!"

She ran over to him and caught him as he fell, his eyes closed and became limp in her arms, she looked at the back of his head to see blood covering his hair. "Reid! Wake up, come on, you can do it."

When she realised he wasn't going to wake up, she began to cry. "I need some help!"

**Please review**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I've made this chapter a nice chapter and I hope you all like how I've done it. Thanks for being so understanding about everything again. You're just the best. I'm going through a weird time in my life, after two years of sleeping in the day and up all night sleep troubles, I've now managed a week of normal sleep at night and being awake during the day. Not quite sure what changed but my mom is happy. I just need to say this. I know Criminal Minds is an American show and I do try use American terms as much I can but I am British and the occasional British term slips through, I'd prefer if this got pointed out more politely. Enjoy and let me know what you all think.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're an amazing group of readers and I adore you all to bits. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan walked into the room, not caring about the nurse that had tried to stop him, his eyes settled on the bed where a doctor was shining a light into Reid's eyes, he could see it was hurting Reid to look at the light.

"Sir, you'll have to wait back in the waiting room," the nurse scolded.

"No, I want him here," Reid said before holding out his hand. Morgan walked over and took his hand, he held it tightly but felt sick when he noticed all the blood on the white sheet and on his clothes.

"How is he?" Morgan asked.

"A very bad concussion, a deep laceration to the back of his head. Whoever did this dealt a very strong blow with a lot of strength behind it. I've stitched up the wound but he'll stay here overnight and then we'll see how he is tomorrow."

"Can I stay with him?"

"Please, I need him," Reid moaned before laying back against his pillow.

"Yes but I need to speak to Spencer alone for a moment. You can come back in after," the doctor smiled. "Please, I need to speak to him."

Morgan kissed the back of Reid's hand and left the room, he closed the door leaving the doctor and Reid alone.

"Spencer, I have to talk to you about something, you're showing signs of abuse and I need to know, is your boyfriend hurting you?"

Reid clenched his eyes shut as the light hit them but opened them to look at the doctor. "No, Derek saved me from an abusive relationship, these scars are because of a man called Martin, he's responsible for my stab wounds. I love Derek and he has never hurt me."

"I just needed to know," the doctor nodded. "I'll bring Derek back in, a nurse will come in every hour to check on you. I'll see you soon, Mr Reid."

The doctor left and Morgan came back into the room, he brought out some sunglasses and put them over Reid's eyes. "That should stop the light hurting your eyes. Spencer, what happened?"

"I-I can't remember," Reid sighed. "The last thing I remember is waking up this morning with you, they said I was found at work but I don't remember going to work. My head hurts so much, Derek."

"I know, Spencer. It'll feel better soon, I promise."

"Derek, are you ever going to leave me?" Reid said quietly. "I don't want you to leave me."

"I'm never going to leave you," Morgan smiled before kissing the back of Reid's hand. "Why would you think that?"

"I lose everything good in my life, you're the best thing to happen to me," Reid sighed before squeezing Morgan's hand. "I can't go to sleep, talk to me and made me happy, like you always do."

* * *

Hotch walked back into the room to see the team and Cruz standing there. "Morgan just sent me a message, Reid remembers getting up this morning and he can't remember anything after that which means he doesn't remember who attacked him. He has to stay overnight and they'll make another assessment tomorrow about letting him come home."

"There was so much blood," Garcia shook her head.

"Head wounds can bleed more," Cruz said. "He's fine, Garcia, but I want to find out who attacked him."

Anderson walked into the room with a note. "Sir, I found this at Agent Reid's desk, we checked out the room and found a small patch of blood."

Hotch took the note and looked at it. "Was there a meeting in this room?"

"No," Anderson replied.

Garcia walked over to her computer. "Is there a camera in that room?"

"I'm not sure," Anderson frowned.

Garcia began typing away on her laptop, she pulled up the building security cameras and smiled when she found a camera in that room. She searched through it till the door opened and played it when Thurman walked into the room. "Son of a-."

"What is it?" Cruz asked.

"Look," Garcia pointed at her screen as Reid walked into the room a little later. There wasn't any sound but it was clear that the conversation wasn't a nice one. Thurman stormed up to Reid with anger in his eyes. Reid said a few last words before turning around to leave. Garcia gasped and felt a pang in her heart as she watched Thurman smash the butt of his gun into the back of Reid's head. "It was Agent Thurman, he just hit him and left him there."

Hotch clenched his fist as after a few minutes, he watched Reid struggle get off the floor with a blood head and hand. Garcia stopped the video when Reid managed to get out of the room.

"I want Agent Thurman brought into custody now," Cruz said. "I'm charging him with attempted murder."

* * *

**The next day**

Reid lay asleep on the bed after the doctor had told him it was okay to sleep, Morgan watched him and hated seeing the man he loved in pain. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small box he had in there. He opened it to see the silver ring he had brought. They had planned to go to dinner together last night but this attack had put Reid in hospital. Morgan leaned up and stroked his hand carefully through Reid's hair.

"I know you can't hear me but when you wake up, I'm going to ask you to marry me. I wanted to ask you last night but that bastard put you in here. I love you and I want to stay with you till the end. The brawn marrying the brains, like it should be."

* * *

Thurman sat silently in one of the interrogation rooms, he tapped his hand on the table and panicked about what he was going to do. He didn't want to murder that abomination, he just taught him a lesson. He looked up when Section Chief Cruz walked into the room. He stayed silent as the man sat across from him. "You're being charged with attempted murder."

"I don't want to murder him," Thurman tried to defend.

"You attacked a fellow agent, brutally hitting in the back of the head and knocking him unconscious, I watched the video and you didn't even check if he still had a pulse, you left him there. He's suffered some memory loss and the doctors described the blow as deadly, you could have killed him. You left him alone and he had to struggle out of that room. You're officially dismissed from the bureau and you'll be taking into custody until your hearing. I'm personally disgusted with you. Agent Reid is a senior agent to you and has done a great deal for the world. You almost killed him and I'm going to make sure you pay for that."

* * *

Reid woke up but clenched his eyes shut, even with the glasses on, the light hurt them. He turned his head and gave Morgan a sleepy smile. "Hey."

"Hey, pretty boy," Morgan grinned. "How are you feeling?"

"My head feels like hell but I feel more like me. Have you stayed with me all the time?"

"You bet."

Morgan pulled out the ring box and opened it, he pulled out the ring and held it up. "This is for you, I wanted to do this at dinner but after everything, that didn't work out. I want to turn a bad day into a good one. Spencer Walter Reid, I want you to marry me, will you marry me?"

Reid felt breathless for a moment before smiling. "Of course I'll marry you."

Morgan slid the ring on Reid's finger and then leaned up, they kissed and grinned at each other as they came away from the kiss.

**Please review**

**I need to ask a favor, I tried looking online but it wasn't too clear on this subject. I wondered if any of you could help. Chicago, Virginia and Las Vegas, I need to know the gay marriage laws in these places so I can write my new chapter out and be exact on details. I know it's legal in some states but I'm not sure on all the states. I'd very much appreciate this help. Send me a message or drop a review.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thank you all so much for all the information, I'm surprised that you can't get married in Las Vegas, only civil unions, I would have thought that would have been the first place to embrace gay marriage. I've decided that they'll be getting married in Chicago, Morgan's hometown but I've delayed the marriage as I was a little naughty in this chapter. You'll see why. Seriously though, the information that came from everyone has been a great help, you're all awesome. Enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you all. Also, I'm looking for a new criminal minds themed profile pic, I tried making one but it went horrible wrong, it's just not my strength I discovered.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're wonderful and I cherish all of you. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**A few days later**

Reid couldn't stop playing with the ring around his finger, he loved the feeling of it and he loved what it represented. He looked at the clock and felt restless as he waited for Morgan to come home. His head still hurt and a headache had plagued him since leaving the hospital but the doctor told him that was normal and that it would stay for a few more days. He still didn't remember anything from the day of his attack and he wasn't sure he wanted to remember. The door opened and he smiled as Morgan came through it. "Hey, pretty boy."

Reid turned off the television and pulled the blanket further up as a chill entered the room. Morgan came and sat down next to him, he put his arm around Reid and gave his cheek a kiss. "How was work?" Reid asked.

"A new recruit to the unit bumped into Rossi covering his shirt in coffee, I've never seen a man apologise so much," Morgan chuckled. "How are you feeling?"

"Headache is still being a pain but I'm feeling great."

"Let me see," Morgan said before he shuffled back and inspected the area where Thurman had struck Reid. "It's looking better."

"I haven't really been focused on my head anyway," Reid smiled before playing with his engagement ring again. Morgan spotted the action and grinned. He looked at the ring that he had on as well, they both wore rings to signify how much it meant for them to take this step.

"Did you know that Garcia can't stop smiling?" Morgan said. "She's over the moon about us getting married."

"What do you want to do? A big ceremony and or something else."

"It's up to you, pretty boy. I don't care about the place as long as you're there, all ready to get married."

"I don't know how to plan things like this," Reid sighed. "I have an idea, let's have Garcia plan our wedding, only if she wants to though. I can't imagine her saying no. What do you think?"

"I think that's a good idea but I don't want her to do anything over the top, we need to set some boundaries or else we'll both be in pink."

Reid let out a small chuckle as an image of him in a pink suit popped into his head, he leaned against Morgan and closed his eyes. "Did you ever picture us being like this with each other? I remember the first time we met, you didn't think I was an agent, you thought I was a mail clerk."

"You're the complete opposite of a mail clerk," Morgan smiled before he kissed the top of Reid's head. "I have to admit I never pictured us being like this together when we first met or through the years we knew each other but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't dream about you sometimes, we had a lot of fun in my dreams. I'm happy that we're like this. We understand each other and you make me happy."

"I never pictured us together but I love you and I'm happy I didn't step off that bridge that day."

"So am I," Morgan said before hugging Reid close to him with one arm. "Just don't ever think that is a choice again in your life. I won't ever hurt you and I want us to build a life together. I noticed you had a bad dream last night."

"It's nothing, Derek."

"I thought we agreed to always be honest with each other."

"It was a dream about Martin and something he did to me," Reid admitted before biting his lip.

"What did he do, Spencer?"

"We were on the couch and it was one of the times that I fought against him, eventually he tied my hands together with his belt and then made me pleasure him as he put on a dirty movie. He made me- he made me accept what he gave me. After, even though I tried to fight, he forced himself on me, he had taken some viagra and he just kept on going."

* * *

_Reid cried as Martin continued to hurt him, he tried to stare at the ceiling but Martin kept grabbing his jaw and kissing him. "Martin, p-please stop," he begged through his tears._

_Martin squeezed his jaw tighter. "You decided to fight me, Spencer. You deserve this," Martin growled before getting faster. "You're so good at being a whore but I hate seeing that mouth of yours opening and talking crap."_

_Reid went to beg again but Martin slammed his hand over his mouth and got rougher. Martin ignored the muffled screams as he continued._

* * *

Morgan held Reid tighter after hearing what Reid had dreamed about. "He's dead now, Spencer. I'll always protect you."

"I know," Reid sighed before leaning against Morgan's chest. "I know."

* * *

Reid couldn't breathe as Garcia hugged him, he had asked her if she would plan the wedding for them and now found himself trapped in a strong hug. "Garcia, I need to breathe."

Garcia came away and looked at him. "I'm sorry, baby boy. I'm just so honored. I'd love to plan your wedding, I can just see it now."

"Remember, we just want nice and simple ceremony and we don't want to wear anything too flamboyant."

"I think I know what you two like."

* * *

Reid woke up to hear noises from next to him, he turned around and found Morgan tossing and turning next to him. Morgan's face was scrunched up and he looked like he was in pain. He put his hand on Morgan's shoulder. "Derek," he said gently but loud enough. "Derek, wake up."

Panic came through him as he was suddenly pinned to the bed, hands came to his throat and began to squeeze. He hit out his hands as he realized that Morgan was still asleep even though his eyes were open. "You're never touching me again, Carl."

"Derek!" he wheezed as dark spots began to fill his vision, he tried to pry the hands off but they only squeezed tighter. "Stop!"

He didn't stop though, Reid brought his hand into a fist and hit it into Morgan's face. Morgan fell away and the hands fell from his neck. He coughed and gasped for air painfully. He looked to his side and knew Morgan had woken up. He crawled away to the corner as Morgan tried to touch him.

"Oh god!" Morgan cried. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know what I was doing. Spencer, god, I'm so sorry."

Reid ran into the bathroom and locked the door, he looked at his neck and knew it would bruise, he wanted to talk but every time he tried it was too painful. He heard Morgan knocking at the door, he composed himself before going. He understood what had happened and he knew it wasn't Morgan's fault. He opened the door to find Morgan crying.

"I'm so sorry," Morgan whispered.

Reid stepped forward and hugged Morgan close, he felt his fiancée put his head on his shoulder, he couldn't speak but he wasn't going to let Morgan think he had done something wrong. They both had dark pasts, full of horror and abuse, but together they were able to fight against the past. He held Morgan to let him know everything was okay.

**Please review**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. The wedding will take place in the next chapter and it'll be a long chapter, I promise you that. Again, thank you for the advice about everything. The nightmare attack gets resolved in a nice style as always. Enjoy and I looked forward to hearing from you all.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're wonderful and magnificent. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid stood in the kitchen with an ice pack to his neck, he looked into the living room and watched as Garcia comforted Morgan. His throat was swollen and it hurt to swallow but he didn't need to go to the hospital, Martin had done worse than this to him. He wanted nothing more than to go out and hug his fiancée, to go and hug the man he loved and adored but Morgan wouldn't let him go near him. He didn't blame Morgan for the incident and he knew he was only staying away because he didn't want to hurt him again. Garcia rose up from the couch and walked into the kitchen.

"How are you doing, Reid?"

Reid brought out a notepad and a pen, he jotted down his answer. She picked it up.

_'I'm fine, I don't blame him for anything, why won't he let me near him?'_

She sighed as she read the notepad. "Sweetie, he's having a hard time coming to terms with what he did to you, he doesn't want to hurt you. We both know that he would never do anything to hurt you. Let me have a look at your neck again."

He pulled away the ice to show the dark hand-shaped bruises around his neck, he winced as she touched the skin. He picked up the notepad and finished writing after a moment. Garcia took the notepad and looked at it.

_'I love him, Garcia, and I don't want this stop our wedding. He was having a nightmare about Carl Buford and I tried to wake him up, it's my fault. You're not supposed to wake up someone during a nightmare unless you have to. I won't lie, he was squeezing so tight and I got scared that he wouldn't stop. It wasn't his fault and I need him to know that. I'm going to talk to him.'_

"I'll come with you."

They walked back into the living room, he sat next to Morgan but felt hurt when Morgan shuffled to the other side of the couch.

"Morgan, he doesn't blame you for anything. You were having nightmare," Garcia said.

Morgan didn't want to look at Reid for fear of seeing the bruises again so he kept his head down. "Spencer, I love you but I can't believe I hurt you like that. If you had not knocked me off, I don't know how far I would have gone. I promised that I would always protect you and yet I almost killed you."

Reid picked up the notepad and jotted down some more writing. He pushed it over and Morgan picked it up.

_'I love you too and I don't want this to ruin our wedding plans, you do protect me and I don't blame you for anything. Would you blame me if I attacked you during a nightmare? I doubt it. It was a nightmare and it seems like you were having a very bad one. What was the nightmare about?'_

"It wasn't about anything," he lied.

Reid angrily snatched back the notepad and scribbled a large note on it. He slammed it back down in front of Morgan.

Morgan picked up the notepad to read five words.

_'Our promise to each other.'_

"Today is a very bad day for me because of my past, it was on this day all those years ago that Carl first hurt me, I tried to bury it down but it came out as a nightmare. I thought I was strangling Carl," Morgan admitted before finally looking up at Reid. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I don't know how you can love me after what I tried to do to you."

Reid shuffled over and smiled at Morgan, he mouthed that it was okay and then put his arms around Morgan. He felt the strong arms of his wonderful lover come around and hold him close. He knew it would take some time for them to get past this but he didn't care. He loved Morgan and he didn't want to lose him.

* * *

**One month later**

Reid used a crowbar and ripped away part of the rotted wall, he repeated the process and then ripped away the last part of the rot. He was working with Morgan on renovating a property. He ripped off his gloves and made his way to the other room where Morgan had finished the wall. "I've finished the other wall."

"Excellent, we're ahead of schedule," Morgan grinned.

The nightmare night that Reid had gotten strangled had taken some time to get over but they were almost back normal now. He took off his hard hat and smiled at Morgan. "We'll considering we're ahead of schedule, we could have a little fun."

"You seem eager."

"What can I say?" Reid smirked. "I like watching you with a hammer."

Morgan pulled Reid close and wrapped his arms around his hips. "You know, I could do with some relaxation of the fun kind."

Reid kissed Morgan and then laughed with delight as Morgan swept the tools from the table and laid him on it.

* * *

Garcia waited for Reid to come out of the dressing room. "Reid, are you done yet?"

"You know I'm only trying this on because you want a picture."

He walked out and Garcia couldn't help the squeal of delight as she looked at him. She brought up her phone and took a few snapshots. "Oh, I love it but it's definitely not for the wedding."

Reid agreed with her as he look in the mirror, he adjusted the jacket and then the bow tie.

"Bow ties may be cool for the Doctor but not for me. What's the next option?"

She handed him a hanger bag with a suit inside and sent him back to the dressing room. "So, the wedding is in two weeks, are you looking forward to it?"

"That's a stupid question," Reid chuckled. "I can't wait to get married."

"You're going to love everything that I have planned, Henry is going to look so cute in his little suit."

Reid finished putting on the suit and smiled at himself in the mirror, it wasn't a typical wedding suit but he liked it. "I like this one."

He stepped out in his suit which consisted of a dark blue jacket, a dark navy shirt, a cream tie and navy trousers. Garcia clapped her hands together and let out a gleeful smile. "Oh, I love it. That's the one."

"I agree," Reid smiled as he looked at himself. "Do you think Derek will like it?"

"He'll love it and I promise that you'll love what he's getting. Trust me, shopping is easier with you than Morgan."

"Why?"

"Morgan is a picky Adonis and he was forever changing my choices."

* * *

Morgan watched as Reid slept on the couch next to him with a blanket over him, he looked so peaceful but sometimes that scared Morgan. He remembered walking into the apartment and slipping on all the blood, he had turned on the light to see Reid laying in a puddle of his own blood. He had looked asleep among all the blood and every time he watched him sleep, his mind couldn't help but remember that moment. He brought up his hand and stroked a scar on Reid's arm. A scar that Martin had given to him after subjecting him to horrible abuse. He got up and turned the television off, he gently brought Reid into his arms and carried him to bed where he laid him down and covered him with the duvet. He kissed Reid's forehead and stroked his hair.

"You'll never get another scar so long as I live, Spencer."

**Please review**


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